Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to. Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.…
Desire vs. willingness
Latest posts & podcast episodes
Responsive vs spontaneous desire
Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal. How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready. Or the opposite can happen. Unfortunately, this…
Arousal non-concordance
I heard a new term this week and I’m really excited about it, because it’s a concept I’ve known about for a long time, but I’ve not seen many people write about it. I also didn’t know what to call…
Is masturbation for medical reasons okay?
I received this question a couple of days ago through our anonymous Have A Question page and wanted to tackle it quickly as it seemed time sensitive. In the case of medical necessary, is masturbation and pornography okay?Backstory: We’re struggling…
Don’t tease unless you’re willing to follow through soon
I received this question last month through our anonymous Have A Question page: I feel like my wife is teasing me sexually. I more days that not, in fact I’d say 5 or 6 days a week she does things…
How can I stop gushing?
Here’s a question I received about a week ago through our anonymous Have A Question page: I’ve been married almost two years and have never experienced an orgasm. However, recently, with a lot of work especially on my husband’s part…
Did I marry the wrong person?
I get a lot of emails from people wondering if they married the wrong person. Generally it’s because they’re unhappy in their marriage and feel like it would be better/easier with a different spouse. Sometimes it’s because they feel they…
Getting over an affair
I received this question a couple of days ago in from our anonymous Have A Question page about recovering from an old affair: I found out about my husband’s affair 3 years ago. The affair happened @ 12 years ago…
Have you really forgiven your spouse for the past?
I received an anonymous question last night through our Have A Question page. The questions is quite long, but bear with me: “Because of a disparity in our early sexual histories, I have an on-going problem, feeling that I married…
Was it good for you?
A lot of couples fail to talk about their sex life with each other. Many are afraid to discuss what they’re doing. If you think about it, it’s kind of funny. I mean, they’re willing to be naked and physically…
How to have spiritual intimacy with an unsaved spouse
I received this question about a week ago from our anonymous Have A Question page: My husband is not saved, so his perception of sex is a lot different than mine. Now don’t get me wrong, after 12 years of…