Our Sexploration List

(5 customer reviews)


Our Sexploration List is a 25-page resource designed to make it easier for you and your spouse to share your sexual likes, dislikes, desires, boundaries, and fantasies.  It gives a framework for discussing over two hundred activities, words, vocalizations, name, and feelings as well as worksheets to build lists of activities you are both interested in now or might be in the future.



Most couples struggle with communicating about sex.  We’re not taught how to talk about it, and so the expectation seems to be that we’ll just suddenly be inspired and given the full breadth of sexual expression while somehow also avoiding pitfalls.  Of course, the reality is not quite as smooth for most of us.

Sex is scary to talk about, but even when you know how to communicate well about it, that doesn’t mean you know what you would like to try.  Searching the internet for sexual activities is, frankly, scary and dangerous for many.

As a result, I’ve come up with a massive 25-page resource to help you through this.

It starts with a 4-page introduction explaining how to talk about sex, how to go through the lists, how to respond rather than react and how to create a plan for moving forward.  After that comes nine pages of sexual activities that I’ve carefully considered and believe to be within the biblical guidelines for married sexuality.  You may frankly have differing opinions, and that’s okay.  Just because it’s on the list, doesn’t mean you need to try them.

I’ve also included four pages of words you may wish to use during sex.  Often we don’t talk about what our preferences are for body part names, pet names, and others.  In our surveys, one thing that has come out is that many husbands and wives wish that the other was more vocal in the bedroom.  However, that can be hard when you don’t know what your spouse’s reaction will be to certain words.  This section will help alleviate those fears.

Lastly, there’s a section on feelings.  What do you want to feel during sex?  What do you feel that isn’t comfortable?  Do you ever think about it?  Have you ever talked about it?  I’m betting you haven’t because most don’t.  These are the conversations that lead to true intimacy, that will grow your sex lives more than just spicing it up with new activities.

In short, this resources is a cheat-sheet for all the things you should be discussing and either never thought to, never had a framework to do so, or simply didn’t know what the options were.

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5 reviews for Our Sexploration List

  1. Kay Potter (verified owner)

    The “Sexploration List” gives couples lots of options and ideas for a better sex life — way more than we will every try! As “Better Marriages” leaders, we have done considerable research in preparation for our upcoming “Intimacy” workshop at our Marriage Enrichment weekend event in Chattanooga (Feb. 2018). We have seen similar lists in various books that were more concise. My husband would not be receptive to completing a questionnaire this extensive. The important thing to remember is that you should not do something unless BOTH of you are comfortable with it. For example, we don’t think God created the “anus” to be used for sex, but that’s just our opinion.

  2. MZ (verified owner)

    Great conversation starter. It seemed to help remove some awkwardness in discussing bedroom preferences which would have not likely been discussed or asked without the sexploration list. It also gave ideas on what we could try next. To the contrary, some of the questions were a bit repetitive, and the rows were hard to follow and match up with the questions hence the rating. In the future, Man related questions separate from Women related questions would be helpful. Most questions were too generic .

  3. Kaye

    This was so great for us! Clearly, this was well researched and well thought out! Very nicely done! As a couple, we sometimes have difficulties talking about our sex lives. We found a few things in common that we were interested in, but never had the courage to discuss without the “List”. This really was a game changer. I can see us going back to the list from time to time in the future. Thanks, Jay Dee!

  4. Norah

    What to do when you know you need a change to spice it up and don’t know where to go. This👏 is👏 the👏 the👏 list!! The instructions are very thrurough. It gives how it is supposed to be done for both spouses. What is ok what is not. I like that this is for Christians a lot of list or suggestions you get add in things that goes against God’s word. Not this list you can feel confident that nothing goes against God’s word. Now personal conviction is another story which is great for this Exploration list gives you something you and your spouse can use to talk about your personal convictions, feelings, and desires. It starts off with telling all the sections it covers and a coupon code, and a link for help with all the wonderful ideas. Then it takes you through process. It suggest for you to do it alone. That is ideal however, some spouses may not be that interested or if you ADHD that maybe hard as you can get distracted it is over 23 pages. So hubby and I did it together (call us rebels).Howevever, we are comfortable in our marriage to be able to do that (it would have been hard for him to sit and do 23 pages of this). It is a rating scale with you “I want more, to I want to stop doing this and everything in between.” We sat in our bedroom with door closed. You need to be away from the kiddies to do this it is pretty explicit. We went through every section and talked about what we were comfortable. The surprising thing was how much we didn’t know. I thought I knew a lot about sex. Boy was I wrong. Some of the acts I didn’t know about i.e butt cheek sex? Some of the exotic words I had never heard i,e turgid? Going through the list I was surprised at how many things I wanted to try. Some of the things he was willing to try. I was really surprised at how many things I wasn’t comfortable with. I am pretty open but some activities brought about a uncomfortable feeling. A scared feeling I guess you could say. We talked through those. We tried to keep our words of what we were feeling safe for on another. That is key. This list is going to open up a lot of talk, feelings, and “Wow I can’t believe that is in there.” That is ok every couple is at a different place. So what is normal to us might be very much out of a comfort zone to others. We we feel is out of our comfort zone maybe right at home with others. I do guarantee you will find something that maybe you haven’t done or said yet.

  5. Sarah (verified owner)

    This was a fun evening activity for my husband and I. We’ve been married for 6 months so we’re still trying to figure out what works for us and what doesn’t. I don’t think there was anything extremely surprising, as we’ve done something similar to this before, but I liked this because 1. It’s a lot of suggestions in one place 2. It’s on paper, so you can compare/reprint/make notes. And 3. It’s not just sexual activities – there are names, terminology, and sounds which is cool. I also like how it gives you a relationship checkup, where you and your spouse can see what areas are maybe weaker. I found out things I didn’t realize my husband was feeling or wanted, and I think he also learned more about me. I would recommend this to learn about your spouse’s needs, even if you think you know what you like to do in the bedroom.

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