Resources Archives - Uncovering Intimacy

Are There Sex Toys for Men?

Let’s face it, the women won out in the sex toy department. If you look for toys for men, it’s a pretty slim selection, and half of them (like vibrating rings) are really for both. Women have multiple categories and subcategories of toys to choose from.

And to be honest – most of the time we men aren’t really looking for a toy for us, and I’m the same way. I did not go shopping for a toy for men. Instead, Lovense reached out to me and asked if I’d like to review their new toy for men. I actually tried to get them to switch to a different toy (one to use on my wife), but they were pretty insistent.

I told them that I’m more of a giver than a receiver, and I actually prefer buying toys to use on her. They wanted me to try it anyway.

I said that I don’t tend to get a lot of pleasure out of stimulation like this – I don’t even orgasm from manual or oral sex, so this isn’t likely to have a very positive outcome. Still, they insisted.

Now, I’m not one to turn down a free toy, even if it doesn’t work for me – I was more worried they’d be annoyed about the review, but they were very clear – they’d rather have an honest review than a positive one, and even if it doesn’t work for me, the truth is, I think it would probably work for a lot of men.

So, here’s my honest experience with it – the good, and the underwhelming, plus all the caveats that go with my experience so you can try to make an informed decision yourself about whether it’s something you want to try.

Manual Sex, Oral Sex, Mutual & Solo Masturbation: The Full Survey Results

In July and August we surveyed 1,058 married Christians on manual sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and solo masturbation. This is the full breakdown: who does what, how often, what couples actually use, where the silence is loudest, and what people quietly wish were different.

Sex Wedge Pillow Positions: How to Use a Liberator Wedge (And Why It’s Worth Every Cent)

I was skeptical. We’d used regular pillows for years. What could a wedge-shaped foam pillow do that a folded bed pillow couldn’t? And how do you justify spending $100 on something that doesn’t even vibrate? Turns out, quite a lot.

Do All Husbands Want More Oral Sex

A couple holds hands while looking at two charts showing oral sex satisfaction data — husbands skewing dissatisfied on the left, wives skewing satisfied on the right. Text reads: Do All Husbands Want More Oral Sex? What 1,000+ Married Couples Revealed.

The short answer is no, however the numbers are striking enough that it’s worth digging into. Because if you’re a wife who feels like your husband is never quite satisfied with your sex life, or a husband who has never quite figured out how to say what he actually wants, this data is going to feel familiar.

We surveyed over 1,000 married Protestant Christians and asked them, among many other things, how satisfied they are with the role oral sex plays in their marriage. What we found was one of the starkest gender gaps in the entire dataset.

Does Masturbation Help or Hurt Your Marriage? Here’s What the Data Says

Illustration of a married couple holding hands while looking at two charts comparing solo behavior decreasing and shared intimacy increasing, with the headline “Does Masturbation Help or Hurt Your Marriage? Here’s What the Data Says.”

Nearly a year ago someone suggested I redo my 2014 survey on mutual masturbation. I did, and I expanded it considerably. What I got back from 1,043 married Christians was more interesting than I expected. Some of it confirmed what I thought going in. Some of it didn’t. And one pattern in particular showed up so consistently across so many different cuts of the data that I had a hard time writing around it.
That pattern is what this post is about.

Lovense Ferri Review – A Discreet Little Spark for Married Play

A while back Lovense reached out to me to ask if I wanted to try one of their toys in exchange for a review. We were given the choice between the Ferri or the Lush 4 to try out, and after a little forum polling and back-and-forth, we ended up picking the Ferri—mostly because the idea of a discreet, wearable toy for public-but-private connection felt a bit too tempting to pass up.

BDSM Survey Results

During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities didn’t think what they were doing qualified, others who wished they were doing such things but didn’t know how to start, and those who thought it was disgusting that I even considered asking questions about such a topic.

or the last three weeks, I’ve spent evenings and weekends digging through the data, coding it, doing pivot tables, building charts, running correlation formulas, and more, trying to get what I can out of it. It’s aptly called data mining because often it feels like sifting through a lot of rocks and dirt just to try and find a nugget of something valuable contained.

Today, I’m going to share what I found.