SWM 164
About one marriage in five has the husband as the lower-drive spouse. What 3,358 survey responses say about why, and whether he is hiding a porn habit.
Why does my husband have a lower sex drive than me?
All posts by Jay Dee
Most Marriage Conflicts Aren’t About Right and Wrong
SWM 163
A couple describes their latest fight. The dishwasher, bedtime, whether you deal with a problem the moment it comes up or sleep on it first. The details change, but both of them are frustrated and both are certain they are…
What does Biblical Leadership look like in a Marriage?
SWM 162
A wife posted her list of instant divorce triggers, and the top item was her husband finding God and joining a patriarchal religion. I understand why. Most of what gets called headship is a man reading two verses and deciding…
Why Does My Wife Refuse Intimacy Beyond the Basics?
SWM 161
A husband writes: seventeen years married, sex twice a week, and his wife will not try anything beyond the basics. He says he does not know why she refuses. But she told him why, four times, and he heard it…
How to Solve the Mental Load in a Christian Marriage
SWM 160
Social media says the mental load is a chore problem, and that if husbands just did their half, their exhausted wives would finally want them. But splitting the load in half does not lift it. Here is why the mental…
Why Do I Feel So Rejected by My Spouse?
SWM 159
“I struggle with rejection, even when I haven’t actually been rejected.” If that lands for you, there’s a name for it: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and it’s closely tied to ADHD. Here’s what RSD is, how it quietly damages a marriage…
Are There Sex Toys for Men?
Let’s face it, the women won out in the sex toy department. If you look for toys for men, it’s a pretty slim selection, and half of them (like vibrating rings) are really for both. Women have multiple categories and…
Manual Sex, Oral Sex, Mutual & Solo Masturbation: The Full Survey Results
In July and August we surveyed 1,058 married Christians on manual sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and solo masturbation. This is the full breakdown: who does what, how often, what couples actually use, where the silence is loudest, and what…
Are most marriages struggling with their sex life?
If you’ve spent any time on this site, you might start to wonder if anyone actually has a good sex life. Problem after problem. Struggle after struggle. Mismatched drives, painful sex, dead bedrooms, porn addiction, resentment. It’s enough to make…
Sex Wedge Pillow Positions: How to Use a Liberator Wedge (And Why It’s Worth Every Cent)
I was skeptical. We’d used regular pillows for years. What could a wedge-shaped foam pillow do that a folded bed pillow couldn’t? And how do you justify spending $100 on something that doesn’t even vibrate? Turns out, quite a lot.
Why Don’t We Ever Talk About What We Actually Want in Bed?
Survey data from over 1,000 married Christians reveals the same pattern across every sexual activity we measured: couples who talk openly about sex are dramatically more satisfied than those who don’t. If you’ve been sitting on something unsaid, the silence…