All posts by Jay Dee

SWM 089 – February 2022 Anonymous Questions

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
Fix the alcohol abuse before trying to fix your sex life
Wife who has hourly mood swings and is disrespectful
Wife who engages in sex, but isn’t sexual
Oxytocin and porn and masturbation
Wife wants husband to get a vasectomy
Clone-a-willy question

SWM 088 – My Vasectomy Experience

A reader asked:
Your post about your surgery is 5+ years old…. any updates, additional thoughts, additional things to research?  Is there a certain “technique” we should look into (stitches vs something else I read about briefly?)  dare I ask, has it affected your faith? We are Southern Baptist raised, and raising our kiddos Baptist/ non-denominational. In other words, denomination is not a factor in this decision. But there are so many opinions out there, I’m at a loss. I know that is what they are, just opinions. At this point, if I spend time in prayer and the Lord brings me peace… I’m going to trust God to give my husband the same peace. If not, we will go another route. 
As the wife, even if we are both pro-vasectomy, I just don’t know how our relationship would handle the guilt if something did go wrong…. 

SWM 086 – Sex with a well endowed husband

Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.

SWM 085 – December 2021 Anonymous Questions

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics Include:
Wet Dreams
Money and Marriage
Handjobs and control
Is my dead husband still with me?
Are dreams sinful?
How do I take control of my marriage?
Sex once a year
Is it wrong for a widow to have desires?
Unsatisfied with little sex
Wife suddenly changed oral skills
Best position for first time
Is oral sex a sin?
Husband has a lot more experience
Movies to get in the mood
Prepping for anal sex
How can I get my wife to show more passion?
Issues with wife’s self-esteem
Questions about lube
Realistic toys

SWM 084 – November 2021 Anonymous Questions – Last post of the year

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
Wife becoming less adventurous
How long before porn memories fade?
What counts as premature ejaculation?
Is getting a vasectomy a sin?
Husband isn’t acting like a believer
Is it okay to talk about sex?
Are we going too far?
Sex frequency has gone down
Crossdressing men
Rimming
Sex once or twice per year since kids were born
Conflict over anal play
CBD Lube
Spanking
Masturbation for medical reasons
Is masturbation okay if your spouse can’t participate?
Will masturbation keep me out of heaven?

SWM 083 – What is “feeling naughty”?

Hi Jay,
Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work! 

SWM 080 – Is premature orgasm a thing for women? How do you last longer?

So my husband and I have been married for about 8 months now. It seems like every time he gives me oral sex, I end up orgasming within just a few minutes. Now, as great as orgasming is, I feel like after I orgasm so quickly, I am not as stimulated by penetration. Also, I really enjoy oral sex and I wish the experience could last longer. My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex. But before I was following Christ and before I met my husband, I was sexually active, including oral sex, and this never happened. So my questions are: 1) is this normal? is “premature ejaculation” a thing in women? 2) are there any ways to fix this and/or last longer? and 3) in women, if you orgasm once, is there a “come down” period? How is it possible to have multiple orgasms in one “sex session”?

SWM 079 – September 2021 Questions – Guarding fantasies, low libido, not wanting sex, pain during sex and more

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
Wanting your wife to have sex with other men
How to handle a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex
What is healthy sexuality for single people?
Does God intend for you to be a virgin if you don’t get married?
Dealing with the loss of a wife
Can men continue to have sex after orgasm?
Should you do Our Sexploration List while aroused or not?
Pain during sex
Are men turned off by prolapses?
How to build stamina
Are topless and nude photos the same as porn?