I had a wife ask, “Sex should be a gift given freely, and if I don’t have veto power, am I really giving freely?” This is my response in light of 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 and the role model Jesus was for us dying on the cross.
A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.
A reader asked:
Your post about your surgery is 5+ years old…. any updates, additional thoughts, additional things to research? Is there a certain “technique” we should look into (stitches vs something else I read about briefly?) dare I ask, has it affected your faith? We are Southern Baptist raised, and raising our kiddos Baptist/ non-denominational. In other words, denomination is not a factor in this decision. But there are so many opinions out there, I’m at a loss. I know that is what they are, just opinions. At this point, if I spend time in prayer and the Lord brings me peace… I’m going to trust God to give my husband the same peace. If not, we will go another route.
As the wife, even if we are both pro-vasectomy, I just don’t know how our relationship would handle the guilt if something did go wrong….
Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.
Hi Jay,
Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work!
Does the source of an idea determine whether or not it’s good? Let’s say you had a prior porn addiction and you saw something you want to try with your spouse, does that make it now sinful? Here’s a question I received a while ago that I’m going to address today.
I’ve been telling husbands for years that they should learn how to give a good sensual massage. It’s one of my go-to recommendations for helping couples when it comes to sexual intimacy. The couples who have tried it all agree – it can transform a marriage to gain the skill of giving good massages. Both husbands and wives benefit from taking a couples massage course, though the immediate draw might be different.
In this post, I’m going to tell you a bit about why you should take a couples massage course. I’ll also let you know my favourite couples massage course out there.
Why you don’t have that “I want to rip your clothes off” feeling anymore. In this post/podcast episode, I tackle the question of what causes that feeling, and the neuro-chemicals involved.
For the last month or so, we’ve had a survey open about how you prefer to have your spouse initiate sex. If you never got a chance, you can fill it out here. I do sometimes delve into old surveys to answer new questions, so
The difference in sexual desire between a husband and a wife is one of those universal conflicts. I think just about every marriage deals with it at some point. If yours hasn’t yet – well congratulations newlyweds! Just because it’s a conflict though doesn’t mean
Anyone else feel like Father’s Day sort of sneaked up on them? I mean, Mother’s Day seems to have a lot of ads, I feel like there was lots of warning. But Father’s Day? I mean, I get flyers to the hardware store to buy power