Category Archives: Initiating

Are you sabotaging your sex life like I do?

I’ve spent the last few years trying to get better insight into the mind of a spouse who desires less sex.  Why?  Because I’m married to one, and one of my goals in life is to make her feel known and loved.  Unfortunately, the more

Trapped gatekeepers – blame the guard, not the prisoner

Trapped gatekeepers - blame the guard, not he prisoner

In some marriages, the spouse with the lower sex drive simply decides their perspective is the most important and ends up being the gatekeeper of sex.  That is, they decide when sex is, what sort of sex there is, and generally it’s given out fairly

Why is initiating sex so difficult?

  If you’re married, you likely have some difficulty initiating sex.  Whether you’re a husband or wife, high drive or low drive, we have all have potential obstacles that can hold us back from showing our spouse we want to be physically intimate with them.

Why lower-drive spouses should initiate sex

One of the largest, and yet least talked about, struggles in marriage is the difference in sex drives.  Often one spouse ends up doing the bulk of the initiating and pushing for a more varied and passionate sex life.  Often, this ends up with a

Being more skilled at rejection

Being more skilled at rejection

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about being more skilled at initiating sex, but today we’re going to tackle rejection.  I think sexual rejection might be one of the touchiest conflicts to handle in marriage.  It’s hard to do correctly and too easily to

Being more skilled at initiation

I think one of the biggest conflicts regarding sex with a lot of couples is simply how initiation and rejection are handled.  From both sides. I think if we could improve that one back and forth conversation, a lot of marriages would be a substantial

How to ask for what you want in bed

How to ask for what you want in bed

I think a lot of spouses don’t ask for what they want in bed.  I think this is frustrating for both spouses because the spouse who doesn’t ask if often not getting what they want or need to make the sexual experience the best it can

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things.  However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have sex, because that’s what the