Category Archives: Initiating

Are you the gatekeeper of sex?

Are you the gatekeeper of sex?

It often happens that one spouse becomes the gatekeeper of sex in a marriage. I think a lot of the time, they don’t even realize they are.  Sometimes it’s because they’re selfish.  Sometimes it’s because they have misunderstandings about sex.  Sometimes it’s because they have

How can I encourage my spouse to do something new sexually?

How can I encourage my spouse to do something new sexually?

I regularly have someone ask me how they can encourage their spouse to do something new sexually.  For example, here’s a question from our Have A Question page: How can a husband encourage his wife to deep throat and swallow his semen without seaming demanding or better

Your spouse may need time to want sex

Your spouse may need time to desire sex

Something that’s often hard for those of us who are interested in sex more often to understand why our spouses don’t want sex as often.  While working through my questions backlog, I saw this one, and wanted to answer it: What does it mean for

Are some men just not as visual as others?

Here’s a question I received through our Have A Question page a while back (I have a bit of a backlog). Are some men just not as visual as others? My husband doesn’t seem that affected by my physical appearance, and I am a petite

Vacation does not necessarily equal sex

It’s Thanksgiving this weekend here in Canada, that means hanging out with the family.  Yesterday we had a chance to go up north to cottage country and help my in-laws get ready for maple syrup season.  We spent two days cutting up trees, splitting and

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to.  Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.  In movies, both of the

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal.  How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready.  Or the opposite can happen.  Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women

Dealing with passive rejection

I received this question yesterday through our anonymous Have A Question page: When ever I ask my wife for sex she doesn’t say no but she just says she has to do a few things out side and then she will be right back but

Confidence is sexy

I caused a bit of a stir yesterday with my post Romance is the death of sexual attraction.  This is sort of a part two, but not the part two I think a lot of people were expecting.  In short, if you don’t want to