Category Archives: Initiating

Your spouse may need time to want sex

Your spouse may need time to desire sex

Something that’s often hard for those of us who are interested in sex more often to understand why our spouses don’t want sex as often.  While working through my questions backlog, I saw this one, and wanted to answer it: What does it

Are some men just not as visual as others?

Here’s a question I received through our Have A Question page a while back (I have a bit of a backlog). Are some men just not as visual as others? My husband doesn’t seem that affected by my physical appearance, and I am

Vacation does not necessarily equal sex

It’s Thanksgiving this weekend here in Canada, that means hanging out with the family.  Yesterday we had a chance to go up north to cottage country and help my in-laws get ready for maple syrup season.  We spent two days cutting up trees,

The dual control model – Why you sometimes can’t get in the mood for sex

Alright, today we’re going to talk a bit about the dual control model of sexual arousal.  I think people probably know this inherently, but sometimes it’s good to put things on paper, as it were, to make them clear. So, the dual control

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to.  Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.  In movies, both

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal.  How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready.  Or the opposite can happen.  Unfortunately, this confuses a lot

Don’t tease unless you’re willing to follow through soon

I received this question last month through our anonymous Have A Question page: I feel like my wife is teasing me sexually. I more days that not, in fact I’d say 5 or 6 days a week she does things that arouse me.

Dealing with passive rejection

I received this question yesterday through our anonymous Have A Question page: When ever I ask my wife for sex she doesn’t say no but she just says she has to do a few things out side and then she will be right

Confidence is sexy

I caused a bit of a stir yesterday with my post Romance is the death of sexual attraction.  This is sort of a part two, but not the part two I think a lot of people were expecting.  In short, if you don’t

Being clean for sex

I’ve seen a bunch of comments lately on the topic of being clean for sex. Here’s a few I’d noticed just in the last couple of days: i would like to hear about shower / bath before sex. is it common? is it

Discussion about initiating sex

We’re going to try something a bit different today, we’re going to try a discussion question.  Basically, I’m not going to write a post, I’m just going to ask a couple of questions and open the floor to comments below. Because sometimes I