I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things. However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have sex, because that’s what the
Category Archives: Initiating
Are you the gatekeeper of sex?
It often happens that one spouse becomes the gatekeeper of sex in a marriage. I think a lot of the time, they don’t even realize they are. Sometimes it’s because they’re selfish. Sometimes it’s because they have misunderstandings about sex. Sometimes it’s because they have
How can I encourage my spouse to do something new sexually?
I regularly have someone ask me how they can encourage their spouse to do something new sexually. For example, here’s a question from our Have A Question page: How can a husband encourage his wife to deep throat and swallow his semen without seaming demanding or better
Your spouse may need time to want sex
Something that’s often hard for those of us who are interested in sex more often to understand why our spouses don’t want sex as often. While working through my questions backlog, I saw this one, and wanted to answer it: What does it mean for
Are some men just not as visual as others?
Here’s a question I received through our Have A Question page a while back (I have a bit of a backlog). Are some men just not as visual as others? My husband doesn’t seem that affected by my physical appearance, and I am a petite
Vacation does not necessarily equal sex
It’s Thanksgiving this weekend here in Canada, that means hanging out with the family. Yesterday we had a chance to go up north to cottage country and help my in-laws get ready for maple syrup season. We spent two days cutting up trees, splitting and
The dual control model – Why you sometimes can’t get in the mood for sex
Alright, today we’re going to talk a bit about the dual control model of sexual arousal. I think people probably know this inherently, but sometimes it’s good to put things on paper, as it were, to make them clear. So, the dual control model of
Desire vs. willingness
Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to. Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it. In movies, both of the
Responsive vs spontaneous desire
Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal. How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready. Or the opposite can happen. Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women
Don’t tease unless you’re willing to follow through soon
I received this question last month through our anonymous Have A Question page: I feel like my wife is teasing me sexually. I more days that not, in fact I’d say 5 or 6 days a week she does things that arouse me. I don’t
Dealing with passive rejection
I received this question yesterday through our anonymous Have A Question page: When ever I ask my wife for sex she doesn’t say no but she just says she has to do a few things out side and then she will be right back but