Definition: "Responsive desire is the sexual interest that emerges in response to a partner's initiation or other sexual cues, rather than spontaneously or independently."
I’ve been answering these in email, but I’m moving it to the website for multiple reasons. For one, then people who are nervous about joining the newsletter can still read the questions and answers. Secondly, it’s just easier for me to write on the website,
In some marriages, the spouse with the lower sex drive simply decides their perspective is the most important and ends up being the gatekeeper of sex. That is, they decide when sex is, what sort of sex there is, and generally it’s given out fairly
This past week, we were having a discussion in our Uncovering Intimacy Champions group. I won’t post the full start of the conversation because I haven’t asked if I could, but the gist of it was this: How do you keep initiating sex when your spouse,
One of the largest, and yet least talked about, struggles in marriage is the difference in sex drives. Often one spouse ends up doing the bulk of the initiating and pushing for a more varied and passionate sex life. Often, this ends up with a
A couple of posts ago, I wrote about being more skilled at initiating sex, but today we’re going to tackle rejection. I think sexual rejection might be one of the touchiest conflicts to handle in marriage. It’s hard to do correctly and too easily to
I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things. However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have sex, because that’s what the
Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to. Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it. In movies, both of the
Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal. How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready. Or the opposite can happen. Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women
Will sex always be the same in marriage, or does it go up and down, like a roller coaster, or the tide? How can we handle these changes, what do they mean?
I think this is a mistaken perception most of the time. We see this all the time on movies and TV shows, the sexually aggressive female, not only aggressive, but overtly aggressive, and it sparks something in men when they see that, they are attracted to it. Why? I don’t think it’s that the woman is aggressive, it’s that she’s sexually confident.
Why do you think men think about sex more than women? And why is that so important to a man in his marriage?