Category Archives: Sex Drive

Trapped gatekeepers – blame the guard, not the prisoner

Trapped gatekeepers - blame the guard, not he prisoner

In some marriages, the spouse with the lower sex drive simply decides their perspective is the most important and ends up being the gatekeeper of sex.  That is, they decide when sex is, what sort of sex there is, and generally it’s given

The one thing that will make you better in bed

The one thing that will make you better in bed

Many spouses want to learn to be a better lover.  You may think it takes knowledge about techniques, tricks and hidden tips about sex, or that it takes a perfect body, able to last hours of pleasurable motion, but the truth is that

5 ways to stop stress from killing your sex life

5 ways to stop stress from killing your sex life

Stress has a huge impact on our sex lives.  It changes everything from the initial desire to have sex, through to arousal and ultimately the ability to orgasm. For most people, sex negatively impacts all these things.  So, one of my readers wants

Sex drive differences aren't the problem

Sex drive differences aren’t the problem

Most couples face a conflict in terms of mismatched sex drives. The majority in fact, my marriage included.  This leads some people to believe that their sex drive, or the sex drive of their spouse, is the issue.  But it’s not.  It’s just

Why marriage ruins sex

Sometimes it can seem like marriage ruins sex. After getting married, many people notice that sex becomes routine, boring and just not that exciting.  Yes, the spouses with the stronger drive will still have a strong desire for sex, but it’s often not the

6 ways to ensure you have a terrible sex life

If you haven’t heard yet, I’m planning to run a webinar in the near future. If you have a preference on the topic, you should fill out this form to vote. Currently, the topic people want to hear about most is how to

Making your spouse earn sex makes you feel like a prostitute

Making your spouse earn sex can make you feel like a prostitute

We see a lot of people in Christianity saying that men have to earn the right to have sex with their wife.  While I believe the advice is well-intentioned, and may even be practical, it is not biblical and it leads to some

Why am I always the one who has to initiate sex?

This past week, we were having a discussion in our Uncovering Intimacy Champions group.  I won’t post the full start of the conversation because I haven’t asked if I could, but the gist of it was this:  How do you keep initiating sex when

I'll never be good enough

I’ll never be good enough

When we started fixing our marriage and my wife realized how important sex was both to me and to our relationship, we started improving our physical relationship.  We had sex more often, and it was more varied.  We both enjoyed the changes. However,

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

Here’s a question that’s very important to me, because it’s one that is beginning of something wonderful in a marriage.  I’ve gotten it so many times over the years that I wrote an entire course around it. How do I open up to