Category Archives: Physical Intimacy


SWM 117 – Why do I want sex when I’m sick?

Well, it’s winter here, which means cold and flu season.  So, of course, the last couple of weeks, it’s been rolling through our family of 7.  Christina and I were the last to get it, and it seemed I got it worse than her.  She complained about being sick but still working out multiple times daily (playing Supernatural on the VR – in case any others are fans).  For me, I was barely making it through my desk job and not making it some days.

But at night, we’d crawl into bed, and I was still interested in sex, I think more than usual even – her, not at all.  That made me wonder – what is it about being sick that makes me want sex more?

Unfortunately, my head was too fuzzy to research or write an article; here we are, a week later, and I’m ready to tackle it.  So, let’s dig into being sick and sex and why some may want sex when they’re sick, and even more so when they’re sick.

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

SWM 086 – Sex with a well endowed husband

Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.

Why you should take couples massage classes

I’ve been telling husbands for years that they should learn how to give a good sensual massage.  It’s one of my go-to recommendations for helping couples when it comes to sexual intimacy.  The couples who have tried it all agree – it can transform a marriage to gain the skill of giving good massages.  Both husbands and wives benefit from taking a couples massage course, though the immediate draw might be different.

In this post, I’m going to tell you a bit about why you should take a couples massage course.  I’ll also let you know my favourite couples massage course out there.

What do couples do when one wants sex and the other doesn’t?

The difference in sexual desire between a husband and a wife is one of those universal conflicts.  I think just about every marriage deals with it at some point.  If yours hasn’t yet – well congratulations newlyweds! Just because it’s a conflict though doesn’t mean

SWM 056 – How To Feel Connected During Sex

What does it mean to feel “connected” during sex. For many spouses, when their husband or wife says “I don’t feel connected during sex”, they get quite confused. They’re thinking “I am literally inside of you/you are literally inside of me, how can we be MORE connected?!”

But of course, they’re not talking about a physical connection, but rather an emotional, mental or spiritual connection.

Are you sabotaging your sex life like I do?

I’ve spent the last few years trying to get better insight into the mind of a spouse who desires less sex.  Why?  Because I’m married to one, and one of my goals in life is to make her feel known and loved.  Unfortunately, the more

Are you willing to risk sex to gain intimacy?

Are you willing to risk sex to gain intimacy-

Friday night is typically sex night for us.  It’s not guaranteed, but it’s something we look forward to. You know, kick off Sabbath with some rest from the world and enjoy each other’s safeness, if that makes sense. Last night it didn’t happen though.  It

Sex is not icing on the cake, it’s the eggs in the cake

Sex is not icing on the cake

There’s been a saying in Christian circles that’s been driving me crazy for a while now. You’ve probably heard it. I know I did many times before I got married. “Sex is not that important. It’s just icing on the cake.”  Or some variant of

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

Here’s a question that’s very important to me, because it’s one that is beginning of something wonderful in a marriage.  I’ve gotten it so many times over the years that I wrote an entire course around it. How do I open up to my spouse