Physical Intimacy Archives - Uncovering Intimacy

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

SWM 086 – Sex with a well endowed husband

Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.

Why you should take couples massage classes

I’ve been telling husbands for years that they should learn how to give a good sensual massage. It’s one of my go-to recommendations for helping couples when it comes to sexual intimacy. The couples who have tried it all agree – it can transform a marriage to gain the skill of giving good massages. Both husbands and wives benefit from taking a couples massage course, though the immediate draw might be different.

In this post, I’m going to tell you a bit about why you should take a couples massage course. I’ll also let you know my favourite couples massage course out there.

What do couples do when one wants sex and the other doesn’t?

The difference in sexual desire between a husband and a wife is one of those universal conflicts. I think just about every marriage deals with it at some point. If yours hasn’t yet – well congratulations newlyweds! Just because it’s a conflict though doesn’t mean

SWM 056 – How To Feel Connected During Sex

What does it mean to feel “connected” during sex. For many spouses, when their husband or wife says “I don’t feel connected during sex”, they get quite confused. They’re thinking “I am literally inside of you/you are literally inside of me, how can we be MORE connected?!”

But of course, they’re not talking about a physical connection, but rather an emotional, mental or spiritual connection.

SWM041 – How do you stay interested long term?

Are there things you have to do to keep interest in your spouse? Here are 7 tips to help you stay interested and renew attraction in your spouse.

Are you sabotaging your sex life like I do?

I’ve spent the last few years trying to get better insight into the mind of a spouse who desires less sex. Why? Because I’m married to one, and one of my goals in life is to make her feel known and loved. Unfortunately, the more

Are you willing to risk sex to gain intimacy?

Friday night is typically sex night for us. It’s not guaranteed, but it’s something we look forward to. You know, kick off Sabbath with some rest from the world and enjoy each other’s safeness, if that makes sense. Last night it didn’t happen though. It

Sex is not icing on the cake, it’s the eggs in the cake

There’s been a saying in Christian circles that’s been driving me crazy for a while now. You’ve probably heard it. I know I did many times before I got married. “Sex is not that important. It’s just icing on the cake.” Or some variant of

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

Here’s a question that’s very important to me, because it’s one that is beginning of something wonderful in a marriage. I’ve gotten it so many times over the years that I wrote an entire course around it. How do I open up to my spouse

External events can stop a sex session from going anywhere

For many spouses, external events can negatively affect the sexual context. This generally is the wife, but not always, as this reader’s question shows: We are working through a sexual refusal pattern in marriage and we are making good progress. Last night I pointed out