gender differences Archives - Uncovering Intimacy

SWM 144 – Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it

One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.

This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do. I shared my thoughts in the forum in a bit of a rant and then realized that I don’t know if I’ve really tackled this a whole lot on the blog and podcast. If I have, it’s been a few years, so it’s time for a refresher for the new people.

So, I’m going to try and make it a little less ranty and a little more coherent and see if maybe I can teach some other wives and women out there a bit about what many men think regarding sex in the hopes that it might help some marriages, present or future.

What’s the best way to initiate sex?

For the last month or so, we’ve had a survey open about how you prefer to have your spouse initiate sex. If you never got a chance, you can fill it out here. I do sometimes delve into old surveys to answer new questions, so

Stop telling men to be self-sacrificing

I’m getting sick and tired of hearing references to Ephesians 5:25. It seems every time I turn around, some other person, be it a man or a woman, is quoting it. In case you don’t know it off the top of your head. Here’s the

Orgasming from oral sex survey results

A couple of weeks ago, I started running a survey to answer the question of one of the people in my Uncovering Intimacy Champions group. Namely “How many men can’t orgasm from oral sex”. Well, I expanded it a bit to answer a few more

Do you feel like a sexual being, or a sexual object?

Do you feel like a sexual object or a sexual being?

I’m trying to process something I was thinking about on my commute home today. It has to do with this verse: The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not

What to say when your wife tells you about her day

It’s often difficult for men to listen to their wife talk about her day. For many men, it’s not something they naturally feel the need to do. Men tend to more easily compartmentalize their life. When they come home, they want a chance to switch

Your spouse may need time to want sex

Something that’s often hard for those of us who are interested in sex more often to understand why our spouses don’t want sex as often. While working through my questions backlog, I saw this one, and wanted to answer it: What does it mean for

Are some men just not as visual as others?

Here’s a question I received through our Have A Question page a while back (I have a bit of a backlog). Are some men just not as visual as others? My husband doesn’t seem that affected by my physical appearance, and I am a petite

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal. How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready. Or the opposite can happen. Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women

Do Christians shave their pubic hair?

For those of you who have filled out the survey (and if you didn’t, you still can here), you know that one of the reasons I ran the survey was because someone made the comment: [My wife] claims that NO ONE does that every week,

How many husbands actually like giving oral sex?

Last week, I posted an anonymous question where someone asked how many wives actually like giving oral sex. In the comments, people wanted to know how many husbands actually like giving oral sex. So, I guess this isn’t technically considered an anonymous question, but more