All posts by Jay Dee

What about sex for the surviving spouse?

I received a question today that frankly stunned me: Do you have anything on, “What to do if you’re a widow or widowed now”, as now there’s no sexual partner but only desires, what do you do? Thank you It stunned me because, I have

Where is the line between biblical submission and being a doormat?

My wife and I talk about sex a fair bit.  Why?  Well, probably a few reasons: I have a fascination with sexuality, particularly in marriage.  The hormones and neuro-chemicals involved, physiological and psychological responses, how it impacts marriage and the rest of life.  Why we do the things we

Do you have a performance based marriage?

This topic is a bit on the fringes of sex within marriage, but it’s one that gets brought up a lot, particularly in the discussions about spouses that refuse to have sex, or has had an affair, or is addicted to porn.  Is there a

Beginner Bondage Questions

Alright, my last post (My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?!) raised a lot of questions, so I’m going to address them in this post.  This is going to be much more of an FAQ/How-To whereas Part 1 was more of a theological/philosophical discussion.  If

My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?!

I’ve seen this question in a few places where all of a sudden a wife lets out that she wants her husband to tie her up.  Note: I’ve been seeing these WAY before 50 Shades of Grey was even a concept.  I am not writing about

LORD, Help Me Understand My Wife

I’ve been praying for years to understand my wife better, in particular, why she doesn’t want sex as often as I do.  Being the higher drive spouse who thinks about sex almost constantly, it is sometimes mind-boggling to me why she doesn’t think about sex…well…ever, unless we’re having sex at that moment.  However, I do not think I’ve been praying with the right mindset/heart.  I was always praying more with the idea that if I understood her, I’d be able to change her.  Sort of a “know your enemy” idea, which, I admit, is a bad way to think about your spouses libido, as the enemy.  But recently that’s been changing.

How To React To A Sexual Awakening

My last post, How Long Does a Sexual Awakening Take?, dealt with the fact that an awakening is sometimes a process, and one must be patient during that process.  This one will tackle the other side of the marriage: Typically, the high-drive spouse, the partner

How Long Does A Sexual Awakening Take?

Just so everyone is on the same page: the term “Sexual Awakening” is used in many Christian Marriage communities to describe a point where a spouse who has been refusing (limiting sex in the relationship), or one who just has an extremely low (or no)