Many of us play the “What if” game and don’t realize how dangerous is it can be. I have at least three readers who are going to think I’m writing this post for them based on questions they’ve asked recently.…
What if I had married someone else?
All posts by Jay Dee
Can married sex be erotic?
Yesterday I wrote that one of the myths we buy into is that sex has to be erotic all the time. I think it’s true that sex won’t be erotic every time. Sometimes, like with “maintenance sex” as I called…
3 myths that kill maintenance sex
I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things. However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have…
Are you the gatekeeper of sex?
It often happens that one spouse becomes the gatekeeper of sex in a marriage. I think a lot of the time, they don’t even realize they are. Sometimes it’s because they’re selfish. Sometimes it’s because they have misunderstandings about sex.…
Do you have time to explore?
We’re having a rough time lately with regard to bed times. Our youngest just doesn’t want to sleep when we want to sleep when we want to sleep. He’ll pass out on the floor at supper time, which is a…
Do you feel like a sexual being, or a sexual object?
I’m trying to process something I was thinking about on my commute home today. It has to do with this verse: The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same…
What to say when your wife tells you about her day
It’s often difficult for men to listen to their wife talk about her day. For many men, it’s not something they naturally feel the need to do. Men tend to more easily compartmentalize their life. When they come home, they…
Having kids does not mean a healthy sex life
Sometimes we make assumptions about the couples around us. Sometimes they make assumptions about us. I remember when were still in our sexless phase, we managed to have two kids. We seem to be a very fertile couple. Now, don’t…
How we kick off our New Year
I like it when the New Year turns over. I like the idea of a fresh start, having some artificial momentum to springboard from. I like being able to make massive changes all in the name of “New Year’s Resolutions”.…
A plan is not a plan unless it is confirmed
Ever had what you thought was the plan fall apart because your spouse didn’t know that was the plan? Or vice-versa? I have! And I don’t think I’m alone, especially after reading this comment yesterday: My wife and I are…
Is your marriage prepared to survive the holidays?
Do you have a plan to survive the holidays? Between Christmas and New Year’s, there is this perfect storm for couples that many stumble into every year. It only comes up once a year, so often we’re caught unprepared and…