Tag Archives: sexual expectations

Why marriage ruins sex

Sometimes it can seem like marriage ruins sex. After getting married, many people notice that sex becomes routine, boring and just not that exciting.  Yes, the spouses with the stronger drive will still have a strong desire for sex, but it’s often not the same as

Orgasming from oral sex survey results

A couple of weeks ago, I started running a survey to answer the question of one of the people in my Uncovering Intimacy Champions group.  Namely “How many men can’t orgasm from oral sex”.  Well, I expanded it a bit to answer a few more

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things.  However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have sex, because that’s what the

Simultaneous orgasms are rare

Our culture has propagated, for quite some time, the myth that simultaneous orgasms are ideal.  More than that, the myth has been pushed to such an extent that many believe that if orgasms aren’t simultaneous, then something is wrong.  This myth has been around for quite some

Relief is not the same as enjoyment

I think sometimes we confuse relief with enjoyment, especially when it comes to sex.  I think this gets confused by both high-drive and low-drive spouses, and I don’t think we tend to reflect on that much.  So, I thought I’d take a second to try

Initiation only counts if your spouse recognizes it

My wife and I were talking about people’s responses to yesterday’s post.  Our conversation let to what initiation was.  We had just had sex, and I mentioned that I had initiated that encounter.  Initially she disagreed saying “I came to bed naked”.  I countered saying

Are there changes to sex after marriage?

Here’s yet another question through our Have A Question page.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been hesitant to answer this one, but here we go anyways: My fiancé and I have sex every once in a while. Are their changes in sex after marriage? I think

Sex can be silly

I was talking with someone the other day who was struggling with the idea that sex can be fun and silly and a laughable situation.  I may be mistaken, but it seemed she never realized that it’s okay to laugh about and during sex.  So,

Should Christians read erotic literature?

Erotica is becoming mainstream.  50 Shades of Grey was a New York Times bestseller last year, and the movie is expecting to be one of the largest grossing movies to date.  Christianity has largely been silent on the issue.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are

Covert contracts – expectations in marriage

In marriage many arguments and hurt feelings are based on expectations.  These expectations can come from a variety of sources and can present in a variety of forms.  Expectations aren’t necessarily bad, but unspoken expectations are dangerous, particularly when you believe there is an agreement