Tag Archives: fear

Should spouses avoid speaking about divorce?

There are differing views within Christianity regarding divorce.  Some don’t really see a problem with it at all, that if you are unhappy, you should leave.  Others believe the very word should be stricken from our vocabulary.  They believe that divorce shouldn’t only not be

Do you believe you are lovable?

I think many of us struggle with the belief that we are lovable. We generally think that, as we are, we’re really not worthy of love.  I think this feeling of a sense of worth is often compounded in Christians due an imbalance of teachings.

Divorce is contagious

I heard something the other day while listening to a talk by Jenna McCarthy.  Divorce is contagious!  And the first thing I thought was “What?  That’s ridiculous!” But it turns out that having close friends who get divorced increases your own chance of divorce by

Being more skilled at initiation

I think one of the biggest conflicts regarding sex with a lot of couples is simply how initiation and rejection are handled.  From both sides. I think if we could improve that one back and forth conversation, a lot of marriages would be a substantial

Growth takes risk

Sometimes you need to be willing to risk what you have in order to get something better.  I’m not talking about leaving your spouse on the hopes of a better one, though that’s the message the world tries to peddle.  Rather, I’m talking about getting

You cannot make a refuser generous

I get a lot of husbands and wives asking me how to change their spouse.  How do you make them go from a refuser to a generous spouse?  After all, I managed it, so what’s the trick?  The truth is, I didn’t manage it.  There

SWM022: Does my spouse find me unattractive

A couple of years ago I got a message from a reader who was beside herself with unfounded fears that her husband was no longer attracted to her.  She hadn’t asked him.  She had no indication that he wasn’t, but she had this deep seated fear that he wasn’t.