Tag Archives: guilt

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

Anonymous Questions – April 19, 2018

Anonymous Questions from our readers

We only received one anonymous question in the last few weeks, which I discussed in our mailing list.  I’m posting my response here on the blog so that those not on the weekly newsletter can read it, but also so people can start a discussion

Is it okay to write erotica for my spouse?

Is it okay to write erotica for my spouse?

We hear all the time from Christian bloggers about the dangers of reading erotica.  A quick search found no less than a dozen posts on the topic.  However, I couldn’t find a single one (besides my own) on writing erotica from a Christian perspective. Going

Do you control your emotions, or do they control you?

Do you control your emotions? Or do they control you?

Emotions are a good thing.  You know how I know?  Because Jesus wept.  God created us with emotions, and even a sinless Christ without a sinful nature experienced them.  Not only that, but He experienced the full gamut of emotions, from joy to anger to

How do you stop sinful behaviours? – Part 2

How do you stop sinful behaviours- Part 2

Last week I wrote a post about how to stop sinful behaviours.  In truth, I only gave half the answer. I wrote about recognizing how wretched we are and continuously dying to self.  I focused on that because as Christians, we tend to skip that

6 things that stop people from forgiving

The other day I wrote about how to apologize properly.  The final step in the formula is to ask for forgiveness.  That forgiveness should always be extended, however, if you find yourself unable to offer forgiveness, here are six reasons you may want to examine.

How do you forgive an abuser?

I received this question this weekend from our anonymous Have A Question page: My wife as had a brother commit incest sexual touching and masturbation on her and other in her family from around 6-9 year old. She has strugle with sex and being touch since

Overcoming guilt from an affair

This week I received a question, as I often do, through our Have A Question page.  However, this time the one asking asked not to share the whole question as she didn’t want anyone to guess the identities of the people in question.  So, I’m

Are there changes to sex after marriage?

Here’s yet another question through our Have A Question page.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been hesitant to answer this one, but here we go anyways: My fiancé and I have sex every once in a while. Are their changes in sex after marriage? I think