Tag Archives: emotional disconnection

SWM 148 – 14 red flags your marriage is drifting towards divorce, affairs or lifelong unhappiness

Have you noticed how quickly disagreements turn into demonization these days? Whether it’s politics, religion, or even marriage, we’ve gotten stuck in a cycle of contempt—where the ‘other side’ isn’t just wrong, they’re evil. And it’s destroying relationships.

I see this in my marriage coaching practice all the time: spouses who’ve spent years labeling each other as selfish, cruel, or hopeless. They roll their eyes, assign malicious motives, and show up just to prove their partner is the problem. Once that mindset takes root, digging out takes months—sometimes years.

But there’s hope. When couples catch it early—before contempt hardens into habit—change can happen fast. Today, I’m sharing 14 warning signs that you’re heading down this dangerous path. Some might surprise you (like sarcasm or ‘harmless’ nicknames), but the last one? It’s the red flag you can’t ignore. Let’s dive in.

Did I marry the wrong person?

Did I marry the wrong person

I get a lot of emails from people wondering if they married the wrong person.  Generally it’s because they’re unhappy in their marriage and feel like it would be better/easier with a different spouse.  Sometimes it’s because they feel they got married for the wrong

Reasons Not To Have Sex Survey Results

This was a simple little survey that I created, originally to answer a simple question:  do husbands and wife’s agree on whether or not the choice to not have sex on a given night is mutual.  This question was raised due to a comment on

How does porn use harm a marriage?

In 2012, I wrote a post called What Is Christian Porn? because it was a phrase I was seeing pop up here and there and I thought it was a ridiculous oxymoron.  Since then, people looking for “Christian Porn” accounts for 2% of my total traffic!

How to stop fighting

At church today, I was talking to a teen, and during the conversation he asked how often my wife and I fight.  I answered that we don’t fight, and he was floored.  His parents fight constantly.  Then it occurred to me, mine fight fairly regularly