Tag Archives: dopamine

SWM 135 – It’s good to try new things

Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point.  Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers.  When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made.  “It’s good to try new things.”  They didn’t have to eat it all but had to try it—a decent try, not a touch to the tongue followed by an exaggerated exclamation of disgust.

Teaching children to at least give something new a fair shot, I think, has applications later on in life as well. I often talk to husbands and wives whose spouses simply will not try anything new in the bedroom. One will bring up an idea, and it’s immediately shot down by the “picky” spouse—the one who is perfectly happy with the flavour of vanilla every night.

Today, I want to talk about why I think it’s good to try new things – not only when it comes to food, but also in the bedroom – or outside of the bedroom, depending on how much privacy you have.  We’re going to talk about the interplay between dopamine, controlled risk-taking, adventure and trust in marriages as it pertains to sex and more.

SWM 083 – What is “feeling naughty”?

Hi Jay,
Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work! 

Why is sex better when my spouse is drunk?

Why is sex better when my spouse is drunk?

Here’s a question I know quite a few people struggle with.  I know I have in the past.  To be honest, the idea is still a bit tempting even though we don’t drink anymore. I often like to get my wife drunk so we can

Why marriage ruins sex

Sometimes it can seem like marriage ruins sex. After getting married, many people notice that sex becomes routine, boring and just not that exciting.  Yes, the spouses with the stronger drive will still have a strong desire for sex, but it’s often not the same as

Is it okay to tease other people?

Is it okay to tease other people?

I received this question the other day from our Have A Question page regarding turning on someone else other than your spouse: My wife and I have been married for 12 year’s,I have realized that I enjoy my wife wearing top’s that she can expose

How to stop looking at other women

There seems to be a big struggle, with men in particular, around looking at other women.  I don’t just mean porn, but just walking down the street, in the store, or anywhere else.  Of course, some women struggle with this as well, but I’ll be

Stress is bad for sex

Stress isn’t a bad thing.  It’s not.  It is designed for a purpose: to give us the best survival chance in a dangerous situation.  Evolutionists would say this is a holdover from evolutionary ancestors.  I believe that God created humans to be able to survive

SWM013: Morning Sex

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | EmbedSubscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | iHeartRadio | Podchaser | Email | TuneIn | Deezer | RSS | MoreThis week, I’m talking about morning sex, that is sex when