Tag Archives: sexual intimacy

SWM 153 – Sex as an Act of Worship

The other night, after my wife and I had sex, we were lying there in that sweaty, happy pile you end up in when the oxytocin kicks in. As I often do, I asked her what she was thinking about. She’ll tell you I probably ask that too often, because I’m endlessly curious about what’s going on in her head.
Her answer surprised me. She said, “Sex is an act of worship.”
I asked her to explain, and she said, “Well, everything we do should be for God. And since you’re the head of the household, just as Christ is the head of the church, then giving myself to you, serving you in this way, is like serving Christ.”
That surprised me. I mean, I’ve taught before that sex is about more than physical release – that it’s for procreation, for bonding, for comfort, for recreation, even for warding off temptation. But I don’t think I’ve ever described it quite this way: as an act of worship.
So let’s unpack that. What does it mean that sex – sweaty, messy, joyful sex – could actually be worship of the God who created it?

SWM 144 – Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it

One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.

This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do.  I shared my thoughts in the forum in a bit of a rant and then realized that I don’t know if I’ve really tackled this a whole lot on the blog and podcast.  If I have, it’s been a few years, so it’s time for a refresher for the new people.

So, I’m going to try and make it a little less ranty and a little more coherent and see if maybe I can teach some other wives and women out there a bit about what many men think regarding sex in the hopes that it might help some marriages, present or future.

SWM 090 – March 2022 Anonymous Questions

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
Husband who gets defensive about possible porn use
Did I change my mind about anal sex?
How to I tell my wife that more sex helps with temptation?
Is mutual masturbation okay if you’re separated due to work?
Haven’t been able to have sex for 4 years due to vaginismus
Friend can’t have sex with his wife because of prior porn use
Is a panty fetish a problem?
Wife hates being pregnant and being a mother

Last minute gift ideas for Father’s Day

Anyone else feel like Father’s Day sort of sneaked up on them? I mean, Mother’s Day seems to have a lot of ads, I feel like there was lots of warning.  But Father’s Day?​  I mean, I get flyers to the hardware store to buy power

SWM 056 – How To Feel Connected During Sex

What does it mean to feel “connected” during sex. For many spouses, when their husband or wife says “I don’t feel connected during sex”, they get quite confused. They’re thinking “I am literally inside of you/you are literally inside of me, how can we be MORE connected?!”

But of course, they’re not talking about a physical connection, but rather an emotional, mental or spiritual connection.

SWM033 – Sermon – Sex: An uncomfortable topic we need to discuss

Sex Within Marriage Podcast

This podcast episode is a sermon I wrote and delivered in my home church while the pastors were away and I was invited to preach.  I’m not a pastor myself, but occasionally I am asked to step in while they are away.  The title I chose was “Sex: an uncomfortable topic we need to discuss”, and it had a few people upset when they came to church and saw it in the bulletin.  Particularly since there was no children’s ministry that week.  But, afterwards, nearly everyone seemed content with what I had said and how I had delivered it.

Some people asked if I would share the sermon here, so you can find the audio, as well as my sermon notes here.

Taking Advantage of Valentine’s Day

If you’ve been reading here a while, you know, I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day.  That said, I’m perfectly okay with taking advantage of the season when it works in my favour.  I will NOT buy roses at 2x-3x the price, but I

What do people do about cleanup after sex?

What do people do about cleanup after sex?

Sex can often by a bit of a messy activity.  Between bodily fluids and lube, there’s generally a lot of liquids to deal with after you’re done.  And unfortunately, no one really talks about it, so you don’t really know what to expect, or how

How to ask for what you want in bed

How to ask for what you want in bed

I think a lot of spouses don’t ask for what they want in bed.  I think this is frustrating for both spouses because the spouse who doesn’t ask if often not getting what they want or need to make the sexual experience the best it can