Tag Archives: sexual arousal

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

SWM 083 – What is “feeling naughty”?

Hi Jay,
Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work! 

Last minute gift ideas for Father’s Day

Anyone else feel like Father’s Day sort of sneaked up on them? I mean, Mother’s Day seems to have a lot of ads, I feel like there was lots of warning.  But Father’s Day?​  I mean, I get flyers to the hardware store to buy power

SWM036 – Sexy Memory Foreplay Game

Did you ever play the game “memory” or “concentration” as a child or maybe with your children? Or maybe you new it by another name. You put cards or tiles face down on the table and took turns turning them over, trying to find matches.For this Valentine’s Day we decided to make an adult version of this game to play with your spouse that can also be used as foreplay.

Anonymous Questions – Aug 14, 2018

Anonymous Questions from our readers

It’s been about a month since our last Anonymous Questions posting, so I thought I’d catch up, as I have a couple of questions that I haven’t yet answered.  For those who are new to the site, these questions are all gathered from our anonymous

How to make it easier to orgasm during sex

Hopefully it comes as no surprise to you that many women, about 40%, have never had an orgasm during intercourse (see our survey for more info).  As well, there is a study that says about 64% of women need additional clitoral stimulation to orgasm, that