We trade God’s design for real, vulnerable intimacy for safe, synthetic illusions. Porn, erotica, and AI companions offer connection without cost but train us in selfishness, not love. They promise intimacy without risk, but only real, covenantal relationship can deliver meaning.
We live in a world that has learned to separate what God never divided.
Hookup culture is the next stage of sex stripped of meaning – where bodies meet, but no one truly connects.
I’m continuing this series exploring how, when we remove aspects of God’s intent for sex, we end up with all the examples of sexual immorality we see in our world.
Last time, I tackled what removing covenant from sex gets you: sex before marriage, and the fallout from that choice.
Today, we’re going to push that even further and look at hookup culture. At first glance it might seem like sex before marriage taken to the next level – but that expansion comes with new problems.
This isn’t just the removal of covenant – it’s the removal of the relationship itself.
Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point. Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers. When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made. “It’s good to try new things.” They didn’t have to eat it all but had to try it—a decent try, not a touch to the tongue followed by an exaggerated exclamation of disgust.
Teaching children to at least give something new a fair shot, I think, has applications later on in life as well. I often talk to husbands and wives whose spouses simply will not try anything new in the bedroom. One will bring up an idea, and it’s immediately shot down by the “picky” spouse—the one who is perfectly happy with the flavour of vanilla every night.
Today, I want to talk about why I think it’s good to try new things – not only when it comes to food, but also in the bedroom – or outside of the bedroom, depending on how much privacy you have. We’re going to talk about the interplay between dopamine, controlled risk-taking, adventure and trust in marriages as it pertains to sex and more.
Topics include:
The Motorbunny
Where’s the eye candy for women?
Body odour
Remarriage
Hating doggy style
Nagging
What does it mean to feel “connected” during sex. For many spouses, when their husband or wife says “I don’t feel connected during sex”, they get quite confused. They’re thinking “I am literally inside of you/you are literally inside of me, how can we be MORE connected?!”
But of course, they’re not talking about a physical connection, but rather an emotional, mental or spiritual connection.
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I wrote a few posts about apologizing lately and realized it didn’t yet write one about how to respond to an apology. So, how do you answer someone who said they’re sorry?