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Category Archives: Marriage


Never use absolute accusations

Never use absolute accusations

Most, if not all of you, have been in a conversation where you or your spouse start a sentence with either “You never … ” or You always …”.  These absolute accusations should never be used in conflict and here’s why: 1. It’s not fair fighting

Divorce is contagious

I heard something the other day while listening to a talk by Jenna McCarthy.  Divorce is contagious!  And the first thing I thought was “What?  That’s ridiculous!” But it turns out that having close friends who get divorced increases your own chance of divorce by

5 reasons your marriage isn’t growing

Over the years, I’ve noticed a trend.  Those marriages that are healthy can handle growing even more, but there are many marriages, especially Christian ones, where they remain locked in the status quo.  They know it could be better, but they lack the skills, characteristics

Talking about sex survey

Christian Sex Surveys

I was going to write a post today about talking about sex with your spouse, but I want to get some data first.  So, let’s see how many responses we can get in the next week. You can fill out the survey here to share your

How to survive a growth season in your marriage

How to survive a growth season in your marriage

If you’ve been married for a few years, you probably know that marriages have seasons. Some are fun, some are exciting.  Some are amazing and intense.  Some are a bit dull.  When you’re just slogging through life, and some are a bit more oppressive than

Sex is not icing on the cake, it’s the eggs in the cake

Sex is not icing on the cake

There’s been a saying in Christian circles that’s been driving me crazy for a while now. You’ve probably heard it. I know I did many times before I got married. “Sex is not that important. It’s just icing on the cake.”  Or some variant of

I’ll never be good enough

I'll never be good enough

When we started fixing our marriage and my wife realized how important sex was both to me and to our relationship, we started improving our physical relationship.  We had sex more often, and it was more varied.  We both enjoyed the changes. However, a discussion

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

Here’s a question that’s very important to me, because it’s one that is beginning of something wonderful in a marriage.  I’ve gotten it so many times over the years that I wrote an entire course around it. How do I open up to my spouse

External events can stop a sex session from going anywhere

External events can stop a sex session from going anywhere

For many spouses, external events can negatively affect the sexual context.  This generally is the wife, but not always, as this reader’s question shows: We are working through a sexual refusal pattern in marriage and we are making good progress. Last night I pointed out

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