Tag Archives: sexual behavior

SWM 147 – How do you know if you’re sexually compatible

The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, “You need to know if you’re sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship.”

And it sounds like sound reasoning.  We test-drive cars before buying them.  We have probation periods for people we hire at work.  We sample foods before purchasing them.  Shouldn’t sex, which is one of the most intimate parts of marriage, be tested beforehand to make sure you’re a good match?

It’s a compelling argument that convinces many people to abandon their principles.  It makes you question your morality.  It promises both immediate and long-term gratification.

However, it’s based on a flawed premise.

SWM 083 – What is “feeling naughty”?

Hi Jay,
Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work! 

What’s the best way to initiate sex?

For the last month or so, we’ve had a survey open about how you prefer to have your spouse initiate sex. If you never got a chance, you can fill it out here. I do sometimes delve into old surveys to answer new questions, so

SWM033 – Sermon – Sex: An uncomfortable topic we need to discuss

Sex Within Marriage Podcast

This podcast episode is a sermon I wrote and delivered in my home church while the pastors were away and I was invited to preach.  I’m not a pastor myself, but occasionally I am asked to step in while they are away.  The title I chose was “Sex: an uncomfortable topic we need to discuss”, and it had a few people upset when they came to church and saw it in the bulletin.  Particularly since there was no children’s ministry that week.  But, afterwards, nearly everyone seemed content with what I had said and how I had delivered it.

Some people asked if I would share the sermon here, so you can find the audio, as well as my sermon notes here.

Anonymous Questions – May 3, 2018

Anonymous Questions from our readers

In the last couple of weeks, we’ve received a few anonymous questions, and as I mentioned on our weekly update to the newsletter (subscribe here if you haven’t already), I’ll be answering them here for those who want to read and comment below. If you’d

Simultaneous Orgasms Survey

A few weeks back, we were discussing simultaneous orgasms in our Facebook group and we got to talking about what’s “normal”.  Of course, when people ask about what is normal, they’re generally wondering if they’re weird or not.  But they also often want to know

Why it’s important to talk about sex

Why it's important to talk about sex

Every once in a while, someone contacts me saying their spouse won’t talk to them about sex.  Sometimes it’s part of a larger issue of not wanting to talk at all, but often every other topic is acceptable, it’s just sex that isn’t.  So, I

A day of sex

A Day of Sex

We tried something recently that I thought I’d share, because it might interest some of you.  Warning: If you’re currently in a marriage where your spouse is actively gate-keeping or refusing sex, don’t read this.  It will just irritate you. I was listening to some