We tried something recently that I thought I’d share, because it might interest some of you. Warning: If you’re currently in a marriage where your spouse is actively gate-keeping or refusing sex, don’t read this. It will just irritate you.
I was listening to some podcast, or reading a blog, honestly, I don’t remember which, and someone mentioned a vacation where all they did basically was have sex. They would get up in the morning, have sex, get some breakfast, have sex, re-hydrate, have sex, get a snack, have sex, have some lunch, have sex, … well, you get the picture. And I thought “Well, that’s nice if you can manage to have a vacation without the kids and no plans.” But with 5 kids, and no-one willing to take them overnight, that’s pretty much an impossibility for us. We don’t really even get date nights let alone weekends away.
The second thing I thought was “I don’t think my refractory period would allow for that.” I mean, I don’t know about you, but as a guy no longer in my teens, half-a-dozen orgasms in a day don’t sound doable. Sounds like fun, but not realistic.
But, then I thought about a post I wrote a while back What Is Your Goal? in which I suggested that sometimes orgasm doesn’t need to be the goal of sex. I mean, sometimes you just really want an orgasm, and I think that’s perfectly okay to ask your spouse to help you with that. But, a lot of the time, what we really want is to reconnect, or just to enjoy some pleasure together.
So, I proposed the idea to my wife, who asked some good questions for clarification, and here is the plan we came up with. Basically, short 5-minute quickies throughout the day, without the intent of achieving orgasm. If it happens, no problem, but don’t chase it. Then, at the end of the day, we’d have a “proper” sex session wherein we’d both get an orgasm if we wanted it. Now, if your spouse needs more time to “warm up”, this may not work for you.
I was honestly a bit surprised (and elated) that my wife agreed without really any push-back. I’m still constantly in awe at how much she’s changed over the years. She’s amazing.
How it actually worked out
This was a Friday night, and we planned to try this out on Saturday since the only plan we had was going to church. We figured a quick session when we woke up. Another after we got home from church and got the kid’s lunch, and then our final one at night. Since it was late, we also decided just to have one of those “no orgasm” quickies at night before going to sleep.
Then we had a kid wake up at 4 am who just didn’t want to go to sleep. Most accurately, he didn’t want me to help him go to sleep, but I was trying to save my wife from having to wake up. But, after 20 minutes of him screaming that he didn’t want me, she was up anyways. Finally, he went to sleep again, and we figured, well, we’ll up anyways … so we sneaked (yes, that’s the right word) another one in.
The rest of the day basically went as planned. We had some kids crawl into bed with us before we woke up, but we managed to shoo them downstairs to get breakfast while we “got dressed”. We did break the rules at bit after lunch where we chased an orgasm for my wife for a bit. But, no one had any complaints.
So, why try this?
Well, first off, it’s a lot of fun. For me, it was one of the best days of my life. It was exactly what I want for a weekend. For me, sex is time to reconnect, have fun, and relax with my spouse, and I like to have a lot of it over the weekend to help relax from the workweek and prepare for the next to come.
Also, trying to sneak away, and get our “session” in without any of the kids wondering where we’d gone was fun. I’d finally bought a lock for the bedroom door a couple of weeks ago, so we weren’t afraid of being caught or anything, but a knock on the door can be a bit of a mood killer. So, being inconspicuous works best.
As well, short intense sex sessions is … well, just exhilarating. If you know that orgasm isn’t the goal and that you only have to worry about sex for 5 minutes, well, you don’t have to hold back or pace yourself. You can invest all your energy into it. It like a series of sprints throughout the day.
And, you never really get “out” of the mood. You know sex is going to be happening all day, so you’re always sort of “ready” to go. It’s an exciting frame of mind to be in, and also helps cut down, or eliminate the foreplay you need, which is good, because you only have 5 minutes.
Lastly, sex at the end is pretty awesome, because you’ve been building up to it all day.
So, that’s how we managed “a day of sex” with a house full of kids. It’s a lot of fun, doesn’t take a lot of time. My wife was concerned that it would be frustrating to keep having sex without orgasm, but it wasn’t at all. Plus, she got an extra one during the day, so no complaints from her. Actually, she’s suggested doing it a couple of times since then, but unfortunately, they haven’t panned out yet.
If you’re looking for something fun to try to inject some excitement into your married sex life, that’s something you can try.
21 thoughts on “A day of sex”
FUN! FUN! FUN!
Wasn’t trying to … was really trying to share something that might help others.
So we tried this yesterday. Because we both work, we did a 5M session before heading off to work, a 5M session when we both got home, a 5M session while our son was at his friend’s house after school and then the full session at bedtime. No orgasms during those 5 minute sessions and that was very, very hard! By the time the grand finale rolled around, I knew I wouldn’t last long so we made sure she orgasmed before we had sex and she did–it was incredibly intense for her (and me). I have to say that she was as wet as I can ever remember as soon as her panties went off. So after her epic orgasms (she had 2 back to back but the second one was no where near as intense as the first) we had sex and I lasted maybe 7 or 8 minutes (longer than I had thought I would). I had an explosive orgasm. I will leave out the details but it was very messy and I didn’t realize at age 44 that I could still do what I did. This little game was a lot of fun and we may try it again this weekend. But it was very hard to limit each to 5 minutes and not go for orgasm. The payoff, though, is that when the grand finale comes around you are in for fun. If you’re a guy, look for an extremely powerful ejaculation.
Alex, WOW!! I am jealous. I wish I could have had these suggestions when I was 44. At 74 we have lots of fun, I just would like those explosive orgasms again.
We’ve tried this but caved and turned the second five minute session into a quickie! Must try, try again.
Kudos to you for accomplishing it with young children in the house. Determination makes for a better sex life.
We are trying this next week on a mutual day off. I’m REALLY looking forward to it.
My wife & I once had a DAY OF SEX session, but this was last year 2016! We walked around our home Nude ( hope this is Not TMI), then in the middle of the day, WE RELAXED ON OUR OLD COUCH ( GIVEN AWAY) WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE, AND BEGAN TO STROKE EACH OTHER!!!We did this for at least 15 minutes. Then, as we got INTO THE MOOD, we went to bed and had an INTENSE SEX SESSION. IT WAS INCREDIBLE!! This happened ONLY ONCE. Due to our constricted long work hours, IT IS NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE & ENJOY ANOTHER DAY OF SEX LIKE THAT ONE However, we intend to visit a local GUEST HOUSE on a day off or weekend off, and attempt to have Another DAY OF SEX session there. We ALWAYS aim for having ORGASMS!! THAT’S WHAT MAKES HAVING SEX FOR US THE MOST FUN!!!
Would love it. Wish my wife would do such things.
What would happen if you sent her the post?
Great idea! Thanks for sharing…I’m looking forward to when my husband and I can try this.
I thought sex all day was going to mean basically foreplay and teasing. How does he NOT orgasm during all those sessions and be ready for more?
Whether or not he suffers from premature ejaculation, he might find the tips in this post helful:
So, husband orgasms times 5 sessions ( because how can he not during sex??) and *if* the wife wants she gets ONE?? Sounds frustrating for the wife good for hubby.
Actually, I only orgasmed during the last session. My wife has one then, and one earlier.
She quite enjoyed it.
Maybe I misunderstood on how I read it:) Thx!
Love this idea!! A bit like Tantra in theory (not chasing the orgasm, focus on pleasure), but love that it’s really drawn out and you could do this any time, anywhere, i.e. traveling, business trip with you spouse, week SD or week days! Just love it! Thanks for sharing ?
My wife and I tried this yesterday and really enjoyed it, thanks for the suggestion. I suggested it to my wife as a way to make sex in the evening better by building anticipation with short sessions throughout the day, which meant that she enthusiastically embraced the idea.
Glad it helped! Thanks for letting us know.
Want to ask my husband to spend every Saturday just taking my breasts whenever he wants for as long as he wants, whatever way he wants…his hands and mouth are marvelous and keep building my sexual desire for him. By bedtime I think it would be intense! I think I would have an orgasm with every session!
Hannah, what feels best about your husband taking your breasts? Is it the squeezing? Is it the nipple play? Is it better to pinch your nipples or suck on them? I’m trying to get a good feel for how to best stimulate my wife. Knowing what works best for you is an additional data point I can use with her. She doesn’t really tell me what feels best for her.