Definition: An erection is the physiological event wherein the penis becomes firm, engorged and upright due to the increased blood flow within it, often as a response to sexual arousal or stimulation.
Topics include:
•Talking about a lack of sex
•Not drive due to cancer treatments
•Wife doesn’t want to use lube
•Our sex life is routine
•Strap-on to help with premature ejaculation
•Do husbands like handjobs?
•Can a married couple film themselves during sex?
•Is sex better on a full stomach?
•How do you start anal sex?
I feel like I have some explaining to do. A couple of weeks ago, I shared that lately, Christina and I have started having sex a lot more than usual. We had more sexual encounters last month than there were days in the month. We’re at about 30 for this month already.
This has led to some questions by some people.
A few years ago, I was talking to a client during a coaching call, and we got off on a bit of a tangent about condom use. I explained a few ways that people tend to lower the protection of condoms when they use them. He was, well, shocked because he’d done many of them and had no idea that every time he did that, he was increasing the chance of conception.
And so, I’ve had this post idea on the back burner for quite a while until last week, when I mentioned in response to an anonymous question that if you don’t want kids, you shouldn’t have sex because even condoms and birth control are not perfectly effective when used correctly – and most people don’t know they’re not using them correctly.
When I posted that, one of our supporters asked if I could write that post, so here we go, because, well, my supporters do so much for me, I’m happy to help them out.
In this post, I’m only talking about the birth control effects, not the effect this could have on STDs/STIs. I’m also not going to address every birth control method, just the three I hear about the most. I’m also not going to be discussing natural family planning, but that is, at best, a delay method, not a method of birth control.
So, here are things you may be doing to mess up your birth control plans.
Answering the question:
Hi Jay, I’ve noticed a dichotomy when it comes to expectations for male and female sex drives and what’s considered desirable sexual performance. As a man, I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to perform sexually. This means being able to become sexually aroused when seeing a naked woman (my wife in this case), being able to maintain the erection and having the sexual stamina to keep from climaxing for a sustained interval (not sure what the average woman considers desirable stamina but let’s say 10 minutes?) Not to mention the societal pressure that men face when it comes to the size of their penis. I myself feel insecure about not having a large enough penis. Who doesn’t want to add a couple of inches to their penis? I’ve become somewhat perplexed/frustrated because I feel like there are very few expectations placed on females. We live in an age when “all women are supposed to be seen as beautiful.” It seems that females are simply expected to be willing to participate in sex when the mood is right, and that’s it. There’s no expectation on the size or quality of female genitals, no expectation on their ability to get aroused or maintain arousal, and no expectations on the level of physical or mental effort they invest in sexual activity. It seems they are just supposed to be the recipient while the man does the thrusting. Even when it comes to the subject of natural lubrication, there’s a stigma around a man who can’t naturally achieve and maintain an erection, but for the woman, there doesn’t appear to be a stigma around the inability to produce sufficient arousal fluid (vaginal wetness). As it pertains to the topic of pornography, I’ve read many articles about the dangers of pornography for men, how it leads to sexual desensitization, and when paired with masturbation, decreased sexual stamina and even erectile dysfunction. I can’t say I’ve read many articles discussing how viewing pornography is detrimental for women. Is it just me, or is there a double standard when it comes to sexual expectations for men and women?
Topics include:
My wife feels disrespected because I notice other women
Wife is hurt but not healing after years
Wife disconnects during foreplay
What can we do during fertile days
Oral sex questions
Husband doesn’t know our anniversary date
Should I be worried if I’m late?
In-laws over-share about sex
Fantasies for couples
Low-drive husband
Period sex
Topics:
Women use sex to control men, so men should be allowed to masturbate
Appreciating beauty vs lusting
Playlist for sex
Tenuto
Squeamish about handjobs
Another question about masturbation
How do I get my wife to masturbate for me?
Is oral sex okay?
Are men polygamous by nature?
Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.
Topics Include:
Wet Dreams
Money and Marriage
Handjobs and control
Is my dead husband still with me?
Are dreams sinful?
How do I take control of my marriage?
Sex once a year
Is it wrong for a widow to have desires?
Unsatisfied with little sex
Wife suddenly changed oral skills
Best position for first time
Is oral sex a sin?
Husband has a lot more experience
Movies to get in the mood
Prepping for anal sex
How can I get my wife to show more passion?
Issues with wife’s self-esteem
Questions about lube
Realistic toys
So my husband and I have been married for about 8 months now. It seems like every time he gives me oral sex, I end up orgasming within just a few minutes. Now, as great as orgasming is, I feel like after I orgasm so quickly, I am not as stimulated by penetration. Also, I really enjoy oral sex and I wish the experience could last longer. My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex. But before I was following Christ and before I met my husband, I was sexually active, including oral sex, and this never happened. So my questions are: 1) is this normal? is “premature ejaculation” a thing in women? 2) are there any ways to fix this and/or last longer? and 3) in women, if you orgasm once, is there a “come down” period? How is it possible to have multiple orgasms in one “sex session”?
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
Wanting your wife to have sex with other men
How to handle a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex
What is healthy sexuality for single people?
Does God intend for you to be a virgin if you don’t get married?
Dealing with the loss of a wife
Can men continue to have sex after orgasm?
Should you do Our Sexploration List while aroused or not?
Pain during sex
Are men turned off by prolapses?
How to build stamina
Are topless and nude photos the same as porn?
Topics Include:
Snoopy wife caught husband
Is orgasming the same as cumming?
Is OMGYes okay?
Ejaculate colour & consistency
Encouraging senior sex
Wife won’t “finish” oral sex
Wife searched for porn
Birth control for Christians
Wife’s smell
What sexual behaviour is prohibited
Zoloft and PE update
Multiple wives – again