Glossary Term: BDSM

Definition: "BDSM" is an acronym referring to a variety of intimate practices encompassing Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and Submission (D&S), and Sadism and Masochism (S&M), often involving consensual power exchange or sensory stimulation.

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SWM 151 – AQ – Oral Sex Norms, Fantasy Guilt & Rekindling Passion

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
– Do men enjoy cunnilingus after ejaculation?
– Should I feel bad for refusing oral after anal?
– My spouse says I should accept substitutes for sex
– Feeling unloved due to lack of physical affection
– Guilt over sexual desires shaped by past porn use
– When one spouse wants BDSM and the other doesn’t
– Sex is loving but not exciting—can it be fixed?
– Why not have kids in your 40s?
– Survey requests on mutual masturbation and handjobs

BDSM Survey Results

During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities didn’t think what they were doing qualified, others who wished they were doing such things but didn’t know how to start, and those who thought it was disgusting that I even considered asking questions about such a topic.

or the last three weeks, I’ve spent evenings and weekends digging through the data, coding it, doing pivot tables, building charts, running correlation formulas, and more, trying to get what I can out of it. It’s aptly called data mining because often it feels like sifting through a lot of rocks and dirt just to try and find a nugget of something valuable contained.

Today, I’m going to share what I found.

SWM 134 – AQ – Piercings, how not to start a fight, nude photos, nude beaches and more

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
How often should a healthy man need sex?
Clitoral piercing
How do we start talking about sex without fighting?
Is it good to masturbate to stay in a sexless marriage?
Professional nude photos with a male photographer
Newly married wife only interested in the same sexual routine
Becoming a Christian didn’t fix my same-sex attraction
Nude beaches
How to get better at rejection
Struggling with orgasm

SWM 057 – Anonymous Questions – April 2020

Anonymous Questions from our readers

Topics Include:
How to get more intimate nights with my wife
Can I have sex with my ex-husband?
Does my husband want kinky sex?
Is it okay to want more passionate sex?
What happens when you die? – what about Lazarus and the Rich man?
Why does my wife suddenly want daily sex?
Is it okay for my wife to flash me?
Wife thinks it’s sinful to touch herself during sex

SWM 052 – Are Dominance/Submission Games in the Bedroom OK?

Are Dominance_Submission Games in the bedroom OK_

A reader asks:
I enjoy calling my husband “Sir” in bed, as we enjoy our submissive/dominant roles in marriage to be played out in sex as well. He felt weird about it at first, but now loves it. I read your post a while ago where you mentioned that humiliation isn’t good for your partner in the long term. Would you consider this to be humiliation? What about the trend to call men “daddy” in bed?

SWM 044 – Anonymous Questions from February and March 2019

Anonymous Questions from our readers

Answering questions from our readers. Questions include:

Is doggy style demeaning?
Does anal sex always cause bleeding?
How to start talking about sex with a sensitive wife?
Can you have sex with an unsaved spouse?
How to handle a wife orgasming too quickly
Mutual Masturbation
Swallowing your own semen
Can you be married to the wrong person?
Is sexlessness being unfaithful?
Ethical porn