SWM007: Spiritual Intimacy – Praying with your spouse

Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for PostsToday’s episode it about praying with your spouse to increase intimacy in your marriage.  Often prayer is a level of intimacy many are scared to step into.  But, getting past the initial obstacle means opening up your marriage to a whole new level of intimacy, which can in turn spur other areas of intimacy forward.

Show Notes

  1. Marriages have many types of intimacy.  Physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, but often we forget about spiritual intimacy.
  2. Like the staves of a barrel, if any is too short, the intimacy in the marriage cannot reach it’s full potential.  The area of intimacy lacking will be a limiter to the rest.

How does praying help intimacy?

  1. Authentic prayer requires vulnerability.  It’s a time to be open and honest with God.  Praying with your spouse encourages openness and honesty with your spouse, and they get to see the “real” you.
  2. Praying together helps keep your spiritual life aligned.
  3. Praying together helps keep you in the loop on what’s going on with your spouse.
  4. Praying together helps force you to make time, if only a little, to be together, without interruptions.
  5. Half of the couples that took our week of prayer challenge found a 35% increase in sexual frequency when committed to praying together once a day for a week.

How to start praying together

  1. Start simple, short, easy prayers
  2. Follow a 40 days of prayer devotional if you’re not sure what to say (our church has done this one, but you can choose your own)
  3. You can both pray, or just one each time, you decide

What if my spouse won’t pray?

  1. Ask if you can still pray with them
  2. Model it for them
  3. Make it a safe environment for them
  4. Ask them every so often (monthly or less) if they want to pray
  5. Leave them space in the prayer time to pray in case they want to jump in.

Looking for more help?

5 thoughts on “SWM007: Spiritual Intimacy – Praying with your spouse”

  1. Norah says:

    I just love the intro music. I agree with this whole heartedly however I get tired of inciting everything in this marriage. And I mean EVERYTHING!!!! I may need to regroup and pray on alot of things. I’m letting then get to me. I’m kind of down.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I’m glad you like the music. I spend probably an hour or two trying to pick out a good track.

      As for having to start everything:
      “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” – Colossians 3:23

      Sometimes our roles in life aren’t fun…but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do them with a smile. Not that that makes it any easier.

  2. Jimchristian says:

    Ok, truth. I believe. I know what side to pick and what to fight for when the time comes. I believe the Bible. But in my heart, I know that I don’t connect to God. Maybe it’s because I figure He’s a busy guy and I don’t ask for favors.

    Nonetheless, it is VERY important that I sit at my woman’s side at worship. It’s something she needs and what she needs, I give. I show all respect, I follow the hymns and we participate in the get together times and picnics and all the little rituals and we support our Church monetarily and willingly.

    I’ve discussed this with the Pastors and many others. And they respect that. I don’t pretend a level of devoutness I’m not in possession of, I’m not a phony about it. I suppose I try but the spirit of Jesus bounces off I guess and that’s the problem of my soul I will answer to one day. But this I do for my woman because she needs it, because I love her and we do have the support of and ourselves do support the church. The Pastors? I think they forgive this, perhaps for them, it is a little thing, but I do wonder. Perhaps I am lost. But my works are good, I do believe, I try to do better. Supporting my girl in church is but one more way, man man needs to lead himself as well as his woman. On this, I follow my woman. And it is for good, I know.

    Ah, the struggle.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Sorry to say, but belief is not enough.

      You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that–and shudder. – James 2:19

      But, a personal relationship is what will save you in the end. Yes, good works come from that, and potentially good works might lead to it, but on their own, good works are nothing. If your pastors are forgiving of it, either they don’t understand their Bible, or their feeling the same way about themselves, or they’re just too scared to tell you straight out what the Bible says.

      It’s good not to pretend, but if you believe God is God, then I don’t think it’s okay to be okay with where you are. Lost? No, not yet, but potentially not saved yet either. If you aren’t sure…then I’d be worried.

      So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth. – Revelation 3:16

      I know you like straight-talk, or else I wouldn’t be so blunt 🙂

  3. Tony Conrad says:

    I think it is God’s faithfulness that counts. He helps those who cannot help themselves. We all go through times when it seems God is far away. I think so long as we are willing to use the grace that God gives to us, and He will, we cannot go far wrong. It is not of works unless anyone boasts. I don’t think we can work it up in a false way although we can stir up the good that we actually know.

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