A week and a half ago I posted a survey about sex during pregnancy. Sex is a taboo subject, sex during pregnancy even more so. Both women and men have questions, false preconceptions and often a fear of reaching out to get advice. So, I asked about your experiences, and advice for new fathers and mothers, so that hopefully, we can answer some of these questions, dispel some false beliefs about sex during pregnancy. Since everyone seemed to like our last infographic, I decided to use the same approach, implementing some of your suggestions.
Some Additional Info
Many husbands mentioned the physical withdrawal symptoms of a lack of sex after the birth of the child, there was also a large number who mentioned how much it hurt to lose the emotional intimacy that goes along with sex. Quite a few mentioned feeling unloved, alone, abandoned and uncared for. While I have no doubt that this was never the wives’ intent, it still occurs. It was nice to see a similar group of wives counseling not to neglect your marriage during this time, particularly in terms of intimacy. That while sex may be off the table, there are other opportunities to show intimacy, even sexual intimacy.
But there was a smaller group of husbands who said some incredible things: That it was a great opportunity to grow in selflessness. That it helped teach them how to love their wife without expectations. These husbands are my heroes. I hope I can do as well.
I also wanted to mention that I was surprised at the number of spouses who said their doctor put their wife on bed rest, including, but not limited to, no sex, and no orgasms. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t speculate on the validity of the physicians prescription…but the numbers seemed much higher than I would have suspected or am comfortable accepting as necessary. But then, I’m biased, trusting midwives much more than doctors.
A few husbands admitted they felt “weird” having sex with a baby … well … right there … inside…but they got over it, some after they were assured that there was no potential of harm to the baby.
I also realized I should have asked one more question in this survey: how did pregnancy affect your sex drive. I think I’ll leave that for another survey/post. I think I’ll write a bit about hormonal and physiological changes in general during pregnancy.
Anything you wanted to say that you didn’t get a chance to share on the survey? What do you think of the results? Any surprises?
10 thoughts on “Sex During Pregnancy Infographic”
Pregnancy made me want sex more. After pregnancy our sex life didn’t even return to prepregnancy levels. We’re down to once a month or less and it’s killing me. I don’t know how to get my husband to have sex. I’m tired of it.
Linked to this infographic.
Oh, also, second trimester sex tends to be awesome.
That depends on the pregnancy and the woman. One of our pregnancies (early in our marriage), we didn’t have sex for 9 months. Stopped at the end of the first trimester. Granted, our marriage was “sexless” (10 times a year or less) at the time.
This pregnancy is proving much better. We’re well into the 3rd trimester, and things are still great.
ummm…wow…have you written about the reason you guys were in a sexless marriage? I know people say that they have gone through that, but I honestly can’t figure out why a couple gets to that point and how they come out of it. I hate to get all up in people’s business, but until I started reading marriage blogs, I didn’t know people stayed married that didn’t have sex.
In bits and pieces all over the place, but not a whole post or anything. I’m not sure we got to that point. It’s more like our marriage started at that point.
And yeah, we stayed married. Married for life, good or bad. Even the really bad. That’s what a covenant marriage is. So glad we did.
I saw that, thanks.
On the point you made about more women being on “no sex, no orgasm” bedrest. This is more apt now because it’s understood that orgasm and sex can stimulate the cervix. Orgasm makes the uterus contract which may not be good for women at risk of premature labor. Sex that stimulates the cervix can cause cramping and bleeding if the cervix is sensitive or opening…which is also not good for premature labor.
Sex is GREAT for helping to start labor (sperm actually helps thin the cervix), which is why it’s recommended as a home remedy to begin labor. So that’s why some moms are put on no sex rest:)
After my wife hits the middle of the second trimester sex is over till after the baby is wiened. This is normally about a year to 18 months. If I beg enough I might talk her into it once or twice every 2 or three months, but normally I have to just wait. She thinks I have a problem because I did without sex before we got married so what’s the difference now. We have 6 kids, which makes it look like that’s all we do, but she usually gets pregnant after the third or fourth time after baby is wiened. Then the cycle starts all over. I started marking an “I” for intamacy in my planner because she didn’t believe we were goin that long in between. Our 4th baby was the worst, we went a whole year, others 6 months. Thankfully she finally agreed to get tubes tied. I love my wife but have to admit the last 10 years of averaging less than 10 times a year has definitely changed our relationship.