Category Archives: Sex Drive

Your definition of gross changes when you’re aroused

Often people are confused about how their reactions to things change when their aroused vs not aroused.  Here’s an example from our anonymous questions page: My wife loves anal stimulation with a finger or two during oral. But when I go anywhere near otherwise, I

Orgasm does not equal pleasure

Yesterday I was writing about some orgasm facts. And my last one. Which I wanted to split into a separate post, is that orgasm does not equal pleasure. Unfortunately our media keeps telling us differently.  Cosmo covers are full of orgasm tips, positions for better

Simultaneous orgasms are rare

Our culture has propagated, for quite some time, the myth that simultaneous orgasms are ideal.  More than that, the myth has been pushed to such an extent that many believe that if orgasms aren’t simultaneous, then something is wrong.  This myth has been around for quite some

Stress is bad for sex

Stress isn’t a bad thing.  It’s not.  It is designed for a purpose: to give us the best survival chance in a dangerous situation.  Evolutionists would say this is a holdover from evolutionary ancestors.  I believe that God created humans to be able to survive

Relief is not the same as enjoyment

I think sometimes we confuse relief with enjoyment, especially when it comes to sex.  I think this gets confused by both high-drive and low-drive spouses, and I don’t think we tend to reflect on that much.  So, I thought I’d take a second to try

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to.  Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.  In movies, both of the

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal.  How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready.  Or the opposite can happen.  Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women

Arousal non-concordance

I heard a new term this week and I’m really excited about it, because it’s a concept I’ve known about for a long time, but I’ve not seen many people write about it.  I also didn’t know what to call it.  I like having labels,

Dealing with passive rejection

I received this question yesterday through our anonymous Have A Question page: When ever I ask my wife for sex she doesn’t say no but she just says she has to do a few things out side and then she will be right back but

Have you taken our latest survey yet on how people like to be approached for sex?Take the survey now
+