SWM016: What being the head of the household means to me

Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for PostsThese days, standing up and saying that your the head of your household can be a bit dangerous for men.  With gender equality so strong in our society, the idea of gender roles is often scoffed at,  looked own upon.  I’ve heard many people say that patriarchy is just an excuse for men to do what they want, when they want.  I don’t see it that way.  Here’s what being the head of the household means to me.

Authority vs. Responsibility

  • As the head of the household, I have ultimate authority within the family.
  • That means I have ultimate responsibility as well.
  • Being the head of a household is about leadership, but also about service.
  • Too often we focus on one or the other too much.  That’s when we get into trouble.

For many women, having their husband lead is frightening

  • Some don’t understand that women are called to support, to follow, not from a place of weakness, but from a place of power
  • Jesus came to serve, to submit, yet no one things He’s weak, or a doormat
  • Just as a wife submits to her husband, her husband submits to God
  • Men would be wise to listen to their wife’s advice, which is not the same as blindly following it

For many men, being a leader is frightening

  • Being the leader means you get to stick your neck out first
  • It means you get to try the new things, even the dangerous ones
  • It means that you will be remembered as the one who lead…either wisely or foolishly
  • It means that your children will follow you, for good or for bad

Living out this dynamic makes for a happier marriage

  • Sexual frequency increases
  • Intimacy increases
  • Peace increases
  • There is clear direction

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4 thoughts on “SWM016: What being the head of the household means to me”

  1. LatterDay Marriage says:

    I see being the head of the household as having the authority to finalize a family decision and make it official. But at the same time a husband would be a fool to not counsel with his wife and hear her side of it and consider her needs and her feelings before a decision is made. Whenever possible a couple should seek to find a decision or solution they both are comfortable with. Swaggering around saying ‘I’m the man so that’s how it’s going to be’ isn’t going to do your relationship any good and it’s a poor example for the kids.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. – Proverbs 12:15

      Yeah, I agree.

      I find most women don’t necessarily want their husbands to do what they say…they just want to be heard and their ideas considered.

      And if you don’t, well then there’s Proverbs 21:19…

  2. John Wilder says:

    Well the ultimate meaning of the head of the household is for men to teach their wives and children biblical principles and the Bible as commanded in the Bible in numerous places.

    Sadly most churches don’t begin to teach or show men how to do that. It is the pastor’s job to be the equipper, especially to men but just don’t even attempt to show them how to do that

    1. Jay Dee says:

      The Mormon church, I think, is the best I’ve seen at this. Every Sunday they have a session just for men (old and young) about what being the man of the house is about. It’s quite amazing actually. If there was one thing I’d adopt from that church, that would be it.

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