SWM015: Valentine’s Day Dangers

Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for PostsValentine’s day is just around the corner.  Only a few days left in fact.  If that started to make you sweat, well, I feel for you.  Valentine’s Day, I think, is potentially one of the most dangerous days of the year for married couples.  I’ll explain what I mean, and then give a couple tips for how to survive it.

Valentine’s Day is Dangerous

  • Expectations are high
  • Stress is high
  • Communication is low
  • High Expectations + High Stress + Low Communication = Failure to meet Expectations
  • Valentine’s Day is a holiday of Fantasy, not reality.  It forces us to want a fairy tale, and then be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.

Valentine’s Day is a day of Contradictions

  • Valentine’s Day is supposedly about love…but in reality it’s about meeting a manufactured expectation.  Not out of love, but out of fear.
  • You are supposed to guess at what your spouse wants more than anything else, and if your wrong, it’s your fault.
  • The prize for winning is great sex.  The cost of mediocrity is obligatory sex.  The punishment for losing is a lack of sex, on the one day of the year where you are made to believe everyone else in the world is having sex.
  • You could deliver a thoughtful gift, or have a nice dinner on any other day and it be seen as a romantic gesture, but on Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year, it’s seen as the bare minimum: Expected, but often not appreciated.

Tips for Valentine’s Day

  • If possible, celebrate Valentine’s Day on any other day except February 14th: Cheaper flowers, easier bookings, easier to find babysitters.
  • Have sex before having your big meal
  • For gifts, buy something that will last and pay dividends while also being personal and something that will draw you two together.  (Like Melt, for example)


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