I’ve been putting off this post for a long time, but after writing about why men are breast obsessed, it seemed an opportune time to bring it up. So, today we’re going to talk about Adult Nursing Relationships, also known as ANRs, and more specifically, a husband nursing from his wife.
One reason I’ve put it off is because I don’t have any experience with an ANR, it’s not something we practice nor are planning to, but, I get at least a question a month regarding it, often more, so I thought I should tackle the subject.
In short, for those of you who don’t know, an ANR is one in which an adult nurses from a female adult. In this blog, we’re going to be tackling an adult nursing relationship between a husband and wife. For one, the questions I get all involve that fundamental relationship. Also, because of that, I think, is the only context in which this is acceptable.
I thought I’d just go through some of the typical questions, including the ones I had when it first got brought up.
Is it okay to do Biblically?
I can find no prohibition against adult nursing relationships in the Bible. Nor can I find any verses that would suggest a problem with it. Actually, I’d find an easier time defending it using the Bible than attacking it. One example is Proverbs 5. This chapter is Solomon’s advice to his son about defending against adultery. In it we see:
Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. – Proverbs 5:15
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. – Proverbs 5:19
Now, this is not a clear cut case saying everyone should be in an adult nursing relationship. Some have tried to use it to say that. I’m not suggesting that at all. I’m merely pointing out that it’s easier to defend than attack biblically. I can’t find any reason why one cannot, from a moral standpoint.
Is it okay to do medically?
Breast milk can’t hurt you, and nursing doesn’t harm the woman (in the large majority of cases). When breastfeeding does hurt, it’s typically due to a bad latch. That’s true whether it’s an adult or infant. It could also be mastitis (breast infection), or indicating something else is wrong. Or, simply a high sensitivity.
The truth is, there is so much to breast milk that is beneficial to a person who is drinking it. Some even find evidence that it can help fight off breast cancer. I’m not sure how strong that evidence is, I’m not a medical professional after all. (Christina’s Thoughts in purple) I’ve read articles about breast milk fighting off cancer of people who drink it. Another story I read was a mother and 3 kids were trapped in a car in a blizzard lost for 3 days. The kids only had their mothers milk to drink since she had an infant. They were not even dehydrated from lack of water. Breast milk is an amazing substance. It is full of vitamins and nutrients. WHO recommends infants have nothing but breast milk for their first 6 months. So if you think about that, they grow the most in the first year, and their brain makes HUGE developments in that time too. So before I turn this into a pro-breastfeeding article, let’s just say that breast milk does a body good.
Arguably it’s much healthier than drinking milk from an animal. It’s specifically formulated to feed a human, not a cow, goat, sheep, or anything else. That said, it’s specifically formulated to feed an infant. But then cow’s milk is specifically formulated to feed an infant cow. That doesn’t seem to stop most people.
If the mother is breastfeeding a child, will it take away from the child?
In most cases, no. The female human body is designed to produce as much as it needs. Mothers can feed singles, twins, triples and on up. A woman’s body will adapt to needing to make more milk. I don’t know of a limit, though I’m sure there is one practically. Eventually, you must be able to overtax the system at some point. However, it’s probably well past the point than a single individual could practically drain.
Do ANRs always include lactation?
No, some do it without breast-milk being in play, for those wives who aren’t lactating. One should be aware, that you can restart lactation if you nurse often enough. The numbers I’ve seen suggested 2-3 times per day at 20 minutes each session. Keep that up, and you might re-introduce, or maintain lactation. Now, if you’re trying to restart lactation, there are many products out there to help. There are even lactation cookies!
Can this affect my period?
Yes, nursing can stop your cycles and/or ovulation. You should know that this is not a consistent form of birth control. For it to be anywhere near trustworthy, you need to nurse every two hours around the clock. Even then some women’s cycles are still present. I’m a lucky one, I get at least 13 months without my cycles despite baby sleeping through the night. But, I’ve had friends who had them return 6 weeks postpartum. So you can’t trust it, but many will find their periods disappear (a nice benefit). If you are trying to get pregnant, you should probably hold off on an ANR.
Why would you want to do this?
That’s the biggest question really. The big underlying reason I see is that it seems to promote bonding in the relationship. After all, it produces Oxytocin, just as when you are breastfeeding an infant. The difference is that this time the husband is the only one nearby to bond to. So, the wife feels emotionally connected through this Oxytocin. For the husband…well, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re obsessed with breasts. A lot of us are quite jealous when a baby arrives, because they used to be ours, and now we don’t really get to touch them. An ANR is a chance to play with them for extended periods. As well, some men report feeling calmed and soothed by it. Perhaps a remembrance of our time as an infant, when nursing was a source of comfort?
The reason I’m not really interested in this activity is that we have five kids now. Most of the last 10 years I’ve been pregnant or nursing children. I’ve nurtured them and loved them, they’re my children. The idea of Jay nursing from me messes with the idea of him being the head of the house. How can he be the leader in our family if he needs that kind of nurturing from me? How can I get that protective feeling from him when he needs me in this manner? Does that make sense? I would love to hear from woman how it works for them.
Is this a sexual activity?
Some feel it is, after all, it involves breasts. Other’s feel it isn’t. Some count it as foreplay, other’s treat it more like hugging or cuddling. I think it depends on the couple.
How do I convince my spouse to do this?
You don’t. After all, you can’t make your spouse do anything. But, what you can do is share with them what the fascination is for you, explain what it means to you, why you want to try it. What benefit you think it would bring to the relationship. But, then you need to listen and hear them out in return. Ultimately, you need to decide together, you can’t force them to enter into an ANR.
What do you think of ANRs? I’d like to know your opinion below in the comments. Please, be respectful, as I know some of our community engages in this activity. It may be a bit taboo in our culture, but there’s nothing morally or medically wrong with it. At least not that I can determine, so I’m neither for nor against it.
107 thoughts on “Adult Nursing Relationships”
Hmmmm very interesting. People just don’t talk about this kinda stuff but yet there are many questions. I totally agree with Christina I wouldn’t get that “manly” feel of protection from my husband if he nursed from me. But then again if one of my family members had cancer and it cured it well sign me up to start pumping. But do I find it sexual NO!
I have heard that it taste sweet though.
Yep, loaded with sugar
It is sweet and delicious
Warm milk is gross, I like milk icy cold but my wife isn’t interested in accommodating that request for some reason. 🙂 Seriously, I enjoy stimulating her breasts that way briefly during foreplay, without any lactation involved (she would hate that). I’m not really sure you could count it as ANR.
Her reaction depends on what part of her cycle she is in, it is very arousing for her and she can orgasms from it many times. There are other times where it does nothing for her and times where they are too sensitive and off limits. She doesn’t look at it as me becoming an infant to her, but as part of her surrendering her body to me.
We have done this in our marriage. We have had 4 children over 8 years, all of which have been/are breastfed. We happened upon ANR with our 3rd pregnancy. Nipple stimulation can be very arousing and it just continued after pregnancy and well through and after the next. At first I viewed it as “those are for my children now” (which is why we hadn’t done it in previous pregnancies/postpartum), but once I agreed to give it a try I found I really enjoy it. I have never seen it as my husband being infant like or less of a leader in our house, but more as another way to surrender myself to him and share my body with him in a newer and different way. Since for many women nipple stimulation can be sexually arousing, especially with those oxytocin releases, I think that is the big appeal for the female perspective…plus, yes, men like breasts so playing with them is fun for him. I feel like mine have been “working breasts” for SO many years so it’s nice to have them viewed as just for fun from time to time, too!
Some time ago I began lactating out of the blue (no Dr says I’m fine, no cancer just prolactin is high) anyways, my husband discovered the milk through our lovemaking and began tasting just a little at first. It made me feel so close to him and him to me…..a new connection between us. Now we have nursing sessions once or twice a week, those sessions release hormones in me that make me feel euphoric and it relaxes him in ways I’ve never seen. Plus it’s something only between the two of us. I like to think I am producing the milk for him so we can get closer still. I have no other explanation and no desire for any other relationship than with him.
It’s wonderful that you’ve embraced the gift of lactation and the blessing of ANR. Thank you for sharing! (I’m jealous that I haven’t received this particular gift. ? )
I have an autoimmune disease that leaves me in chronic pain for much of my life for the past 10 plus years. The only time I didn’t have pain was during lactation. After realizing this and always having loved to have my breast touched during foreplay and intercourse, I looked into relactation. It was much easier than I thought to do. Just either pumping or being suckled by my husband and within a month or two I had full milk again. It had another benefit. My husband had suffered from erectile dis function and this literally took that away during our nursing sessions. It was also such a lovely quiet time for us to have just to ourselves. The bond we had before was amazing and I never knew how much stronger it could become until we began our ANR.
Do you believe that your breast milk actually cured his ED? Or was it just the sexual arousal? My husband also suffers from ED, and I am trying to relactate. I am hopeful my milk will help him, too!
I have an autoimmune also! I am gonna try this for sure
I am interested in trying this however I think it would be embarrassing for any physician visit I have for them to know about this.
My husband and I are fascinated with this and are just beginning. My question is how do you explain the sudden breast enlargement to family/friends? And doctors? We are 58 and empty nesters, although my 80 very Catholic mom lives with us.
My wife and I enjoyed this with all 5 of our kids. She found it very stimulating and could orgasm from it on many occasions. We would make it a very erotic game and at times I would get some in my mouth and feed it to her with a kiss which would often times put her over the edge if the timing was right.
Sometimes I really enjoy your articles. But the other times they come off as a how to guide to being a pervert under the disguise of a Christian blogger. I believe that you have a platform that can be very helpful if used correctly. The one blog about threesomes….. Come on every single Christian knows that there is no way on earth to justify such activities. Please use this opportunity given to you to really help people who are really seeking help to help them and their spouses explore sex in the way that God intended.
Well, I’m glad you enjoy some of them. As for the others, I’m not quite sure how to respond. My inbox is full of emails from Christians who have questions about sexuality. We’ve refused to talk about sex for so long in most of Christianity that they don’t know what’s okay now and what isn’t. Add to that that the vast majority of Christians don’t read their Bibles, including many pastors, and how else are they going to know? You think there is some inborn trait that tells us? Paul didn’t think so:
It is in our nature to sin, to pervert God’s intent for creation. For as long as humans have a sinful nature, there will be Christians who aren’t sure about what’s right or wrong, and the Bible will be there to shed light. God willing, as long as I live, I’ll be there to point people back to the Bible. That’s why I write posts about threesomes and adultery and such. Every day people read those posts, I have the stats to prove it, which means every day people have questions about it.
In addition to that, non-Christians read it, I know they do, because I get emails from them too. Some of them think we’re crazy for being so “sexually repressed”, but some see that we have a consistent approach to sexuality, one that is logical and beneficial to life. They don’t know to turn to the Bible to answer their questions, but they are getting the same biblical counsel, the best I can offer. In that way, it is evangelistic.
Now you may think that an ANR is a perversion, I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I can find nothing in the Bible to call it so. So, what are you basing your opinion on?
I do love this. A lot of people have questions. You think they are so basic but it is a problem to the person. Everyone doesn’t come from same background and this will have different mindsets. There needs to be people and places drawing them to as accurate as possible with the word of God even in the smallest issues and concerns.
Your judgemental remarks are uncalled for. Pray about that and God will show you the truth.
I really don’t believe that her remarks are meant to be judgmental but instead asking questions to try to understand why you think the way you do and where your thoughts are coming from. She can not address any questions or concerns you have if she does not understand what you are asking or why your thinking the way you are. Tone does not necessarily transfer in written text properly try communicating a little more and not rush to the conclusion that she’s just making judgemental remarks because I really do not see any malicious intent in this writing, but instead a thirst for knowledge and desire to help shed some light on taboo topics and provide a place for safe open discussions.
I found this blog interesting. I love when my husband is on my breasts. I do feel a greater bond between us. As a wife I have to say I do enjoy this activity as foreplay, and durring our sessions of making love. I feel like Im able to give my husband what he needs in that time.
Think there is a difference between ANR and breast play and sucking. My wife has two kids and I, like most men are fond of their wife’s breast. However i don’t think sucking on them is the same as nursing from them. When she nurses the kid, it happened that the milk entered but it was not a continual like with kids. So I feel like there is a huge difference from sucking compared to nursings
I studied this years ago – for the same reaosn you did.
When there is no baby involved, keeping the milk flowing requires regular nursing by the husband. This means regular time together as a couple, and if that is what it takes to get a couple to be together often maybe it’s a good thing. On the other hand it can be an inconvenience or worse for the woman. Unless she really enjoys it (and I know some do) it’s asking a great deal from her.
Yeah, it seems most couples struggle to find time to be together three times a week, let alone three times a day.
It doesn’t have to be 3x a day to maintain milk supply. Once a day would probably keep milk production going so long as the supply is already established.
I do agree though, it’s is asking a lot of her to have this type of relationship.
Well written! Good article.
The broard nature of human sexuality never ceases to amaze me! I find it sad how judgmental people can be, sometimes it seems, because they don’t understand or desire it they think it’s wrong! As you rightfully say, the Bible seems to think its a good idea 😉 I think ANR can be a beautiful thing. And I believe in times gone by when food was scarce this was much more common practice.
Well written, keep up the good work. While the world screams about sex, it’s not helpful for Christians to remain silent.
May the Bless & protect you
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I tried to be impartial. I feel I should point out though, I don’t think I said the Bible seems to think it’s a good idea. Merely that it COULD be interpreted that way, and nothing I read can possible be interpreted against them. I myself am neither for nor against this relationship, I don’t think.
I too am neither for nor against, and only fairly recently came across this practice. When I first heard I was like… ‘Ya sayin’ whaaaat?’ – but I could immediately appreciate how it would be a very bonding experience, between a married couple – celebrate whatever the Lord brings to you.
My wife and I are into ANR. I nurse 2 times a day, first thing when we wake up and at bed time. It is the most romantic and intimate experience for both of us that either one of us has ever experienced. She tells me repeatedly that she has never felt closer to anyone as she does to me. We have both acknowledged that had we done this in our prior marriages that we most likely would have not gone through a divorce. The nursing forces us to spend time together regardless how busy or tired that we may be. And it has also led to some of the greatest sex for both of us as well. I really can’t say enough good about ANR.
My husband and I are just beginning this journey. Thank you for your comments because I have wondered if he will be as in to this as he thinks he will be. I’m hoping it will be as bonding and fun as it seems to be for your and your wife 🙂
When you mean nurse you mean she breast fed you milk? Does she pumps throughout the day?
I’m can see why this would be a beautiful relationship.
The body produces wonderful bonding chemicals, and whatever helps a couple stay in a loving relationship is a good thing.
I should clarify not ANYthing,bviously not illegal activities. What two consenting adults choose to do privately is their business.
Yucking someone’s yum is silly.
Just wondering what you did and how often you pumped to get the milk flowing.
I want to first thank you, Jay Dee for publishing this, and Robert S. for your comment.
I operate a blog that’s dedicated to promoting ANRs from a purely biblical perspective and it brings me much joy to find so many Christians with positive things to say about this beautiful act.
After about 200 hundred hours of research, I KNOW that a nursing relationship within marriage is the best way in which a couple can bond, apart from their unity in Christ. Like Robert, I can honestly spend the next 24 hours typing about the benefits of incorporating an ANR into marriage. I’m not kidding.
I’m with you, Jay, and also Claire on your point that the Christian tendency to make sex a taboo topic has the effect of causing more sins/problems than it prevents.
The Bible doesn’t simply think it’s a good idea to have an ANR. After doing some digging, I’ve found that in the original Hebrew, Proverbs 5:19 unmistakably encourages it. I exhort everyone to visit the blog because I elaborate there on all I’m saying here.
Please check it out at http://christcenteredanr.com and continue this conversation.
By the way, Robert, your comment is amazing. Hope you don’t mind me borrowing it.
You’re welcome. Having read your site, I don’t agree with you that the Hebrew necessarily encourages it, I read into the quoted passages differently than you do. So, I won’t say every Christian should be practicing ANR, but I can’t find any fault with the practice if they choose to.
Thanks for your response, Jay Dee. By no means am I saying every couple must practice an ANR, just like no one has the right to force sex or even marriage on anyone. The Bible views marriage favorably but doesn’t command anyone to get married. What I’m saying is that if we thoroughly understood the original Hebrew spoken by King Solomon, we would see that Proverbs 5:19 literally says “let her breasts soak you” or “let her breasts drench you”. The evidence for this is overwhelming. I thought I had done exhaustive research on this verse but it looks like there’s even more that has been obscured by translators. In my blog post titled ‘A Biblical Defense of ANR’s’, if you click the links leading to biblehub.com’s multiple concordances including Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, you would at once realize that Proverbs 5:19 is a direct reference to husband breastfeeding. So Solomon advising his son to enjoy his wife’s breast milk as a means of preventing adultery certainly isn’t a command for all Christians today to do the same. I just think it’s great advice, that’s all I’m saying.
The Bible point-blank says let her breast milk satisfy you at all times. No one has to take this advice but I plan to, because I have uncovered too many benefits of this loving bond, and Robert S.’s comment above testifies to that.
Thanks again, I’m glad to be part of your site!
I read your post, and I get what you’re saying, but I think it’s a stretch. This imagery could just as well be talking about the feeling of refreshment that sex brings to a husband, not the physical intake of breast milk. The same Hebrew word is used in Proverbs 7:18 where there are no mention of breasts nor any other liquids. To say it is overwhelmingly obvious that it’s about breast milk, I think it pushing too far. I read your post, and the evidence didn’t seem overwhelming to me. It seemed a plausible translation, though not one I’d consider most probable myself. It doesn’t seem consistent with the message of the Bible in my mind.
As someone who has been involved in human lactation for 30 years as a lactation consultant, herbalist, nutritionist, breast pump designer and in teaching women how to induce, I can say 1000s of them are involved in Adult Nursing. From the moment we are born be it male or female we are attracted to the breasts for nourishment, nurturing, love, warmth, softness and touch. I coined the phrase that “the breasts are the external umbilical cord of life”. Few are the new fathers that have not tasted their mate’s breast milk. A few never let go.
I see nothing wrong if a couple agrees to enjoy the breasts and the milk the comes forth in a manner that brings them closer together. How can this be seen as sinful? My clients tell me they find an intense love for each other while nursing that carries forward throughout their day. This bond is stronger than ever before their nursing began, in part thanks to the oxytocin “love” hormone. Most of the women I counsel are 35-65 years of age, many at a time when the passions may be waning. For them the nursing relationship seems to relight the passions to the point that some men find it improves their erections. Many of the women find breast feeding their partner as the ultimate love bond a place of perfect peace and happiness.
There are a ton of websites on Adult Nursing, not to mention nearly a million hits on the subject.
Therefore it’s no wonder you get many question on it.
Thank you for exposing it further.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response, S. Gerald. It has never occurred to me to seek a lactation consultant to help me re-lactate at age 56. Now, it has and I thank you!
Curious how long it took you to start producing milk?
Is it really possible to relactate after 12 years? (I breastfeed my children and my youngest is 13 yrs old) Also is it possible to relactate /produce milk again if only nursing 2-3 times a day (usually morning and evening & sometimes late afternoon) If so, does it usually takes MONTHS to have milk flow begin/start?
I have SO many questions for you! Are you able/willing to discuss further? How do I find a lactation consultant that is supportive of ANR? How do I discuss my changing body to family and friends? So so many questions…..
Well, as this is a Christian site, I must add that an ANR relationship has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Christianity or the Bible. My wife and I are Wiccan and in an active ANR, and as others have stated, there is nothing that I have ever found that has brought down the barriers between 2 people like this has. No secrets, no lies, the bonds have only gotten stronger and we have grown so close it defies explanation. For any and all downsides, the upside is enormous. Plus, it’s a turn on for both of us that she nourishes me every day.
I am a minister, married to the same woman for 38 years. We raised 3 children and are alone together at home. I find ANR very helpful to our marriage. My wife no longer enjoys kissing and foreplay or sexual frequency the way I still do. Her breasts are very stimulating to me in lieu of other acts of foreplay. When she yields them to me I feel a very close personal bond to her and to them. Needless to say it is very arousing. I believe that God planned it this way. Why else would they still just be hanging around 30 years after the last child has left. I
My husband and I have an ANR. He is a very manly man and provides for me in all ways. His nursing does not make him an less of a man and I enjoy that I am able to comfort, nurture and provide for him in this way. If you are unable to nurture your husband, what kind of wife are you really anyway? Our nursing time is between him and I and it is the most intense bonding experience we have every felt. If you would like more information come on over to our forum where you can read and inform yourselves of this practice and ask questions if you like. We are more than 2,000 like minded people there sharing our experiences of re-lactation and some of the stories are incredible. We welcome you to join. http://giftofmilk.com/ANR/the-boards/
My husband and I discussed this off and on for the past few years and have decided to start the process of inducing lactation. I began taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle yesterday and will add Goat’s Rue this week. I will also begin pumping tomorrow 11/8. My breasts are already enlarging and filling ( I’m guessing) my nipples are getting milk buds and are tender. ( I took before pics and took some after 24 hours of the above herbs. Hubby can already see a difference)
I love the idea that so many people are having success with this and are strengthening the bond with their spouses. The erotic part has yet to come for us as my hubby is a truck driver and not home as often as either of us would like. (Yes I will be pumping more often than the nursing aspect)
My biggest fear is that we will get past the “honeymoon” period with this and he will decide he’s not into it and then there I’ll be dripping wondering how the hell I will dry up ( yes I know how to go about that part too, just more of a metaphor)
Has this backfired on anyone?
Has this been a major improvement in your sex life?
Basically what’s the downside that is turning people off or upside that gets everyone purring?
I would love to hear from you 🙂
Where do you get fenugreek blessed thistle goats rue?
I ordered my online
As a child free by choice woman, I would love to do this. I would have to induce though…. It would be strictly for sex and intimacy between me and my man.
Iib honestly wouldn’t change the way I view him as a man. As long as he is respectful and gentle I am okay with it. It would be a very pleasurable bonding time between us.
We found this awesome option out by accident with our second child. At first it was a bit wierd when it happened but not I love it. And usually she will ask for it during foreplay. There’s also been times when she’s engorged and the baby is not interested at the moment so she wants me to relieve the pressure for her. Out at times when our son is now trying to ween himself before address ready for it she wants me to help keep her production up. True, she could just pump it in both of these situations but I enjoy taking her and getting the chance to massage and suck on her breasts.
My husband finds it comforting to suck on my breasts,and I love it. I don’t see him any differently, I love him and if there is something I can do to make him happy, I’ll do it. It’s not weird to me at all, it’s a way for us to bond.
If God didn’t intend for it to be for married couples also, then I don’t think he would have designed to two systems to be separate.
Remember he designed the male and female bodies and systems as easily as you and I breath. As easily as we tie our shoes. He could have just as easily made it so a woman can only lactate when she has a child. But he designed it so a woman can be induced.
You could say “Well that’s so a woman could adopt.”
But it can take a long long time to induce (6 dedicated Months) and back in the day a baby would more likely starve to death by the time they activate let alone made enough to keep it alive. Or maybe to be old enough to not need it anymore by that time.
As children of God the side of himself that he shows to us is all about love and intimacy and friendship. Not romantic love/intimacy. But Marriage is designed to be a reflection of His relationship with us. And in a romantic marriage between a man and woman the love and intimate bond comes in large part from sex. And sharing in God together.
And from what I’ve seen an ANR takes it well beyond what sex can offer on it’s own. So I can’t imagine God not only condoning it but also encouraging it. He’s enabled it to be possible for us.
Read Song of Songs in the bible. It’s God allegorically expressing his desire to be close with us, and considering the reflection of how marriage is, it’s one of the blue prints in the bible of how a husband and wife should be.
There are no words to describe how badly I yearn for all of it.
As my husband and I have rekindled our ANR within the loving bonds of marriage, I have been searching for information on this beautifully intimate experience, and not only did I enjoy reading this article, I truly enjoyed browsing through readers’ comments as well. I, personally, cannot express the emotions and sublime euphoria that arise from within our Christian ANR in a concise way, as there is SO MUCH to say in regard to this lifestyle. I recently began a blog focused on the ANR journey, and created a Facebook page. If anyone would like to read more, please join me! You will find Bountiful Fruits: A Loving ANR Journey by visiting http://marriedmilkmaid.blogspot.com
This is one of the best ANR articles I have come across. Well done!
I was in an ANR with my wife for over a year. It was both wonderful and confining… I’m finding myself at a loss of words for the downside… I guess the downside was that appreciation for her breasts was desensitized. Five times a day completely negates the novelty of having a nipple in your mouth. On the other hand, I got an erection within 15 seconds of latching on, every time, without fail. The closeness is without comparison. You can’t match it in any other way, but it is like the stories of the genie in the bottle that gives you literally what you wish for: you get it but it isn’t what you thought you were asking for. This isn’t the big beautiful milk-spurting breasts that you fantasize about, it’s the same one you suckled a couple of hours ago, and the same one you suckled a couple of hours before that… and it’s wonderful. It’s a closeness I couldn’t imagine achieving without ANR.
I just stumbled upon your page a few weeks ago and have been really enjoying it. Then found this post through your most recent post link, I had never heard of and ANR so I had to see what it was. As you say men are obsessed with breasts and if that is the average man then my husband is above average. So we enjoy much touching sucking etc.. during intimate times. After our kids were born it was hard to avoid nipple stimulation when everything south of the border is off limits for 6+ weeks, and well breasts leak for the first few weeks as well so inevitably, unless I had shut down basically all intimate touching, there was milk involved in it. He enjoyed it, the taste the intimacy etc. But we never spent long periods of time (nothing more than a minute or two at a time) doing this that would have gotten wired for me (personally), and I would agree if it was being done for any reason other than a sexual one for me that would have also made it weird (that’s strange cause normally if things are done in a sexual manor it is weird but in this case that made it ok).
Yeah, I agree, I don’t think I could without a sexual component either.
My husband and I are just beginning this journey with relactation . I know that I personally find a very bonding experience. Beyond the definite sexual stimulation I receive the intimacy is wonderful. This is a beautiful God given gift.
My husband and I have had a “dry nursing” relationship for 18 years. We have two sessions a day where he suckles on my breasts. First in the early morning (20 minutes, 10 minutes on each breast) and then at bed time (40 minutes, 20 minutes on each breast). This is our special bonding time together. In the near future I would like to try to relactate for us. I breastfeed my husband before and it was a beautiful experience.
With 2 times a day you didn’t produce milk? I’ve read that with as little as 2 times a day…as long as everyday…you can start lactation and I was curious if that’s really true. But u say you and your husband have been dry nursing for 18 years so now I’m not so sure.
This blog might be of help. http://WWW.christcenteredanr.com
In regards to your fears of how ANR could mess with the man’s role as the one in charge, one article says that that is not the case, that it’s a matter of practical submission on the woman’s part.
My husband and I are in our sixties. I breastfed our children and because of social conditioning it never crossed our minds for him to suckle the gift of my breasts. Five years ago we began enjoying longer periods of foreplay before sex–and because my husband has always enjoyed my breasts–the longer periods of foreplay involved longer periods fondling and suckling as I enjoyed giving him the gift of my breasts. Eventually I began producing milk and boy did his interest sky rocket and my joy of gift giving fulfilled . Because we are retired we have the time to have suckle sessions 4-6 times per day and when we are busy every 12 hours works just fine. We never saw it as him being a submissive husband, a baby, a child, only a very special time of snuggling and bonding. This special bonding has taken our long marriage to a higher level of intimacy. It hasn’t surplanted sex just made our marriage more meaningful. Perhaps it is just the right thing for an older couple to finish out their lives–instead of what we see as older couples finishing out their lives in a platonic relationship, sleeping in front of the ball game, sweeping the sidewalk, and watching the wheel of fortune–and it makes sense that after nursing babies that breasts–instead of just hanging around atrophying for the rest of the marriage, and mine have completely rejuvenated to young and fruitful breasts — might have an added bonus for a marriage.
Reveling in the gift of pure being
I’m, so interested in this …I’m 51 and did your milk came through on its own or did you take pills teas
When I started getting some small amount of milk we researched on the internet if it was really possible to fully lactate at my age and not having given birth for 30 plus years. It is–as I am proof of it. I started taking a tea made of fennel seed, fenugreek powder, goats rue, and blessed thistle. This all thrown together and boiled. I mix this tea with yeast, dried apricots, and Hershey’s cocoa and blend it for shakes. I have three of these shakes per day and drink 2-3 cups of the tea per day. We make it ourselves and buy it in bulk. Later, I added Mother Love–Special Blend capsules with even better results. Some people find that Mother love Special Blend is all they need, but I have noticed that those people have just had a baby. We take no pills other than herbs and I have been fully lactating for five years. Pumps don’t seem to work for most of us where it has been many years since breast feeding. They are good for stimulation, but the milk has to be gotten out either through suckling–the best way–or manual expression. There is a site at http://giftofmilk.com/ANR/the-boards/. We are a part of this caring group of like minded people. Information is shared freely and most have found that everyone is different and different things work for different people. There is so much to say about it–like it is not actually sucking–it is munching by raising the lower jaw and tongue and pressing the nipple against the upper palate and any partner has to understand this and learn how to suckle.
We wish you the best and feel free to communicate with us.
Lady and Socontented
Beautiful blessing! We have just begun our journey as an elderly couple with grown children. I produced milk today and we are elated.
We have been married for over 45 years and are both in our mid-60s. Dry nursing is a now staple in our marriage bed, and our mutual discovery just 10 years ago has increased our sexual generosity with each other and sexual joy of each other. It has also provided mutual emotional and physical benefit. The endomorphins generated in each of us during our dry nursing sessions, relax us, satisfy us, and deepen our intimacy. We engage in sessions between 5 and 30 minutes, at least weekly, and sometimes as foreplay to LMing and at other times just for the enjoyment of dry nursing. We love the enrapturing experience of my wife offering her breast to me and holding me close as I latch on and tenderly nurse, eagerly suckle, and knead her breasts. We share a term of endearment with each other when a pent up desire to dry nurse between sessions builds up – we say, “Let’s coddle,” which for us is cuddling on steroids!
For Older Lovebirds:
The bonding of two souls, hearts, and minds, and the soothing, calming connection of lips and nipples, and the sharing embrace of gifts in each others safe harbor can only be described as wholesome.
Lady and Socontented
So, an interesting thing happened.
I’ve been praying to God for a wife that would want an ANR with me for the past few days because I had a feeling He wanted me to ask after I heard a pastor talk about Luke 11:11-13 on Moody radios founders week a few days ago. So I asked, and I was specific about preferences (I know he knows what I need before I do, but I still wanted to put them out there.)
Then “seek and you will find” popped into my head later on. Then as I have been looking but feeling doubts about what I was doing, I asked for a sign that I was in His will.
I looked around aimlessly in my favorites list and clicked on a link, and missed what I intended to click and was brought here. I didn’t see that this was the site I clicked until after it loaded. I remembered that I posted here once before. I looked through the comments and saw, low and behold…
It was 1 year ago this very day that I posted here. Feb 11th 2016… I have to think that’s a sign. Do you think so?
We believe that it is wonderful that you would ask your heavenly Father for guidance in finding a mate. He wants his children to be happy and fulfilled and wants to be brought in to our lives. He, being our creator, knows what is best for us and who would be our best mate.
Lady and Socontented
Steven, a short encouragement for you … give yourself to God … delight in His love and goodness to you. Commit your way to Him, and let your decisions be guided by Him. He will bring the right woman to you … and you won’t have to worry about who or how or when or where. “Seek ye FIRST the kingdom …. “. He will do the rest. I speak from experience… He is true to His word.
This ANR is wonderful news. Does anyone have any medical professional opinion or information on the healing benefits of this type nursing with abused adults that suffer mental health issues and have intimacy problems? Please respond if you have a healthy perspective on this in an educational sense. There are many men and women who suffer mental health issues from narcissism to bipolar disorders. These illnesses are organic psychiatric illness non-the-less. A mood disorder is considered inorganic; non-organic means such as severe deprivation, abuse, neglect, and severe psychological trauma; what ever it takes to fully restoring mental functions has be good. I wish there was a study out there already.
My wife and I have been married for almost 30 years, and just within the last year or so discovered that having an ANR has done amazing things for our marriage. At first I was a little shy to ask her, because I didn’t want her to think less of me as a man. But I had always had a longing to suckle her, so I did ask, and we started slowly, just a little at a time. Over the next few months, she started lactating, and we both grew very comfortable with her nursing me once, sometimes twice a day. What this time has done for our marriage, has been nothing short of incredible. Nursing relaxes me and fills me with such intense feelings of love for her … and her for me. We feel closer than ever, and she’s had some of the most intense orgasms that she has ever had … at age 53, and after almost 30 years of marriage. I honestly have enjoyed nursing more than I ever imagined possible, and the closeness is life changing. Even if sex does not follow, the sweet closeness we enjoy is far beyond what words could ever express. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have come to love this wife of mine so deeply, and feel more connected to her than I ever dreamed. I tease her some mornings, after we’ve been together … “Ok, well, I don’t need breakfast today … ” … she produces a lot.
I understand that the whole idea of a man nursing from his wife may seem unpleasant, “gross” or “icky” to some. It may seem very “unmasculine” to others. I get it. But if you let other people’s views, or your own preconceived ideas keep you from trying it … you may miss out on something incredible. I am a very masculine man, not effeminate in any way, and nursing from my beloved .. has done absolutely nothing to diminish that. I am so thrilled that my love offers herself to me, and that she delights in how I enjoy her. Every time I think “this cannot possibly get any better” .. it does.
Yes, I am addicted to my wife, and her to me. Tell me again how this is bad? 🙂
How long did it take for her to start lactating – he milk actually come in? Weeks, months?
It took roughly 3 months, but honestly, I wan’t counting … and of course it will vary depending on lots of things. We started simply for the enjoyment of being intimate, the milk was the figurative frosting on the cake. Oh, and it’s increased a LOT … hear me complain. Not !
I bet it’s a very beautiful and loving relationship.
Erica, it’s heavenly … we’re so in tune, it’s crazy good. She offers herself to me daily, and even if I am exhausted, saying no is something I can’t bear to do. The intimacy keeps increasing … haha .. along with the milk flow.
I am 51 years old, and am starting a relationship with someone who is interested in suckling and breastfeeding. He never had children, and is fascinated with the entire subject. So, no, we’re not married but are quickly finding we are quite suited for each other.
So, I’m curious about when I can no longer produce, at what stage of menopause? I am not sure where I am, as I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago (Ovaries intact). Will that affect my ability to relactate?
I breastfed my children 29 & 31 years ago.
I’m not sure if this will yield any answers. If not, could someone please point me in the right direction?
Hello everyone my wife and I have started an ANR with as much as two children will allow us to do so for almost a year with little success and we have been very frustrated because we mutually agreed to due this to try and bring closer as we feel we have grown apart over the last 20 years we’ve been together and we both are very much enjoying this but we’ve been struggling because of many obstacles in our life (ie time) & one of which we believe could be an IUD that my wife has to deal with migraines. She doesn’t want to talk to her doctor about it due to fear of criticism. So does anyone know if this could be a road block for our cuddling relationship??
Is age a barrier, that is 65 years and post menopausal? However I am physically fit , active and young at heart.
As substantiated in medical evidence , breast and nipple massage plus wire- free non restricting bras , are all positives for breast health.
I am curious if relactation would be feasible and in fact healthful for the breasts? It’s 20 years since I lactated, would it indeed be very possible to induce ??
I should like to hear from any 65+ year olds who have been successful.
as much as I would someday like to experience this, at the age of 53, I accept that like many other things in my life, this will remain an unobtainable goal.
My partner and I highly enjoy an ANR relationship. It is a dry nursing arrangement which we enjoy almost every night. I don’t understand why some feel that this type breastplay is perverted but oral sex is okay. Think about that! We don’t practice this enough to produce lactation, and I am an older female. We still love the bonding experience that this act produces. I highly recommend trying ANR, even in the dry format, for a closeness you have never experienced before.As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. – Proverbs 5:19
I’ve always wanted to engage in such a relationship. The thought of it fills me with excitement. I’ve been trying to Induce lactation for awhile now on and off and really will try to make a go of it this time. All of the comments here have been very motivating and encouraging. I cannot wait to become milky so I can have that close bond.
How do you nurse from your partner without hurting them with your teeth? I know it starts to hurt when the babies get teeth, I can’t imagine how adult teeth must feel on such sensitive skin. If there’s any way to prevent pain and injury from teeth I would love to know, thank you!
Just because you have teeth doesn’t mean you need to use them. Babies start getting teeth around 3 months or so, and my wife breastfed some of our kids until 2 years old. A good latch for an infant doesn’t involve teeth.
Likewise with adults, you simply don’t bite down. Open your mouth wider and suck the breast in, and you shouldn’t feel any teeth.
Your comment about how you would basically lose respect for your husband for needing to suck your breasts gave me pause. In every dating relationship that i had when younger, I loved sucking my girlfriends’ breasts and they all seemed to enjoy sucking my nipples, too. I never sought Biblical permission. It was just something we all enjoyed. That is until I married a Catholic woman. At first she seemed to really enjoy knowing that I could be intensely aroused by having my nipples sucked, but at some point she must have listened to a woman like you. She went from just enjoying our intimacy that included mutual nipple sucking, to questioning if it was manly to want one’s nipples sucked. Some men really like getting their nipples sucked as well as sucking their wife’s nipples. Some men hust lack the pleasure receptors in the nipples like I was blessed with. Too bad for them. There really isn’t anything more to it. It can bring couples closer, as long as some prude is not feeding a guilt trip to the woman, or the man. If your spouse likes getting their nipples sucked or sucking your nipples, it seems to me that even if it was not a big turn on for you,that just doing something that pleases your partner is in itself very satisfying. For example, my former wife really loved getting her ear lobes kissed and sucked on. It did nothing for me, but giving her pleasure was immensely rewarding for me. We are no longer married because someone at work; perhaps someone just like you, kept telling her that allowing her husband to suck her nipples was weird and that it made her husband less manly. That sort of thinking is not just wrong, it isn’t based on any fact.
I don’t think it was merely the sucking, but rather the idea of having an entire session that seemed to be simply breastfeeding. After 5 kids, it’s hard not to associate that with a child.
During sex is a completely different context, and so it doesn’t apply.
It’s her opinion. It’s how she feels. How can it be wrong?
Question. I’m i a weirdo for being a woman and wanting to suckle another woman. Im not a lesbian.
A wierdo? No, I don’t think so. It could just be that your brain associates suckling with being an infant again. Safe, secure, no responsibilities, taken care of by a mother, feeling full, satisfied, satiated. Basically all good things.
Now, to act on those impulses, that probably wouldn’t be advised.
I think just as we’re intended to wean off of breastfeeding/suckling and find more solid food for continued development, so too we’re intended to find more solid and deep connections, like with a spouse, to satisfy those emotional needs, and to start relying on God and our own productivity to provide the feelings of safety and security. And everyone should be moving from having zero responsibilities, to being responsible for others. That’s part of growing up and being a productive human.
As well, breastfeeding releases a lot of hormones on both sides. You begin to bond with that individual, and as an adult, it’s likely to result in a romantic attraction, so it could lead to feelings towards a woman that you’d not welcome.
But the desire to want to stay in that infant, safe state, or at least hold on to it in some part I think is a strong desire in some.
So, no, I don’t think you’re weird and I don’t think it makes you a lesbian. But I think acting on it might have some natural consequences you may not appreciate.
I was never breastfeeding and my mother not so much of a mother thanks for the advice and input.
It could be the longing to feel what you never had.
That makes sense.
I was young with my first child and didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding. I was single and living at home. My second child I was 14 years older and married. My husband was very jealous type and there was no way he would allow me to breastfeed our child. I always wanted to experience this feeling but never had the chance. Now my kids are grown and I’m divorced. I self induced and emptied them on my own for 2 years. It is a lot of work by yourself and of course you don’t get the same feeling. I loved how I felt. I actually got myself through menopause this way. It’s been 3 years since I had milk and really miss it! Thinking about inducing again for my wellbeing.
My husband and I have just started an ANR. Literally our first time today. I was apprehensive when we started, then it became almost sweet, then very relaxing and comfortable. He brought up the idea and I am always up to try anything if it will help his stress. It seemed to help, but we will see how it goes. I am looking forward to more sessions as we call them already. ?
I liked the feeling of being able to give back to him because he has always given so much to me. I have lots of medical problems and am unable to work full time jobs or even help very much around the house so this seems like I am helping in a good healthy way, and who knows, maybe it will help my medical problems as well!! Good luck to all of you ANRs out there!
It works! Desperate for a change in my marriage I tried every possible therapy for my husband and I that the internet could offer and then stumbled across the Adult Nursing Relationship community. We share two children and were long past tgeir breast feeding stage when I suggested to him we try this lifestyle. He was hestitant in the beginning about the idea of it but soon we were together every night enjoying my body! Feeding him has given me such a great feeling of power since he depends on my milk at the end of the day. We are calmer with eachother, he considers my feelings more, and I feel more love and respected now that we share Anr. Its simple and effective for us! So anyone who may be thinking about a wounderful new relationship for thier marriage such as this I would totally say give it a try. Theres nothing to lose and a whike lot of love trust respect and fun to gain!
….(he makes me feel like the only woman in the room while we’re out in public and everyone notices? he knows hes getting some of me tonight…I can’t wait to give him his milk)
Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of research, and many things can affect this. Particularly garlic, in addition to being a galactagogue, it’s reported to make breast milk much sweeter.
My wife is a very powerful , smart ,loving, hardworking, great person! She manages to balance her career, our finances, the house and all of our kid’s needs. As the husband I was brushed to the side for awhile during all this. Which is to be expected. Then one day I explained to her my feelings of distance to her and she came back with the breastfeeding idea. It caught me off guard. But I’d do anything to be close to her again so we tried and immediately fell in love with our ANR! She nurses me a few times a week and it’s like a recharge for our relationship. She thought outside the box for me and I couldn’t be more grateful for her!
I wish people would quit placing this in the “fetish” category. As someone posted earlier, how can this be any stranger than oral sex? We’re talking about a loving married couple participating in something that is not unhealthy or dangerous. I have found some wonderful blogs and websites on the subject, but most of them appear to have been abandoned—and that’s a shame. Many are mostly personal ads looking for partners. My husband and I are in our 50’s and started an ANR about 2 years ago. It was going well until we stopped because life got in the way. We started up again recently. I have suffered with clinical depression for most of my life. I have been on numerous antidepressants. Recently, we noticed that I was having more frequent anxiety and depressive episodes. I was going to ask my doctor if I needed to change prescriptions. We started nursing again instead. I noticed an immediate improvement in my mood, I’m guessing because of the release of oxytocin. We are closer than ever. Having a nursing schedule forces us to turn off the TV and spend time together. I can’t wait for him to arrive home after work for a quick session before dinner. I’m not a morning person, but I love to start the day with a session. It would be nice if the medical community would recognize this as a natural remedy for mood disorders. When I brought the subject up with my husband, he said, “You mean I get to play with your breasts and help your depression at the same time? Sign me up!” I’ve seen articles in the role orgasms play in mental health, why not ANR? Let’s bring this healthy activity out of the shadows and take away the embarrassment. I want to feel free to discuss this with my doctor. If telling someone that sex and orgasms are a healthy part of life is okay, why not nursing?
” It would be nice if the medical community would recognize this as a natural remedy for mood disorders.”
A+++ on this! I have never been diagnosed with depression. But for my whole life, the only times I can say I’ve been truly happy are when I had a willing female nursing partner. Sadly, those have been very brief periods. But during those times, my entire mood and attitude toward the whole world is bright and cheerful. I was relaxed, patient with others, much better able to concentrate and work.
Trust me, people. Everything changes if you are a nursing couple. It is a soothing, calming, loving bond like no other. Time without nursing is precious time of your life utterly WASTED. If you ever do this, you’ll understand what I’m trying to tell you. Throw out the darn TV and phone. Spend that time nursing.
How can he be the leader in our family if he needs that kind of nurturing from me? How can I get that protective feeling from him when he needs me in this manner?
I really thought this was an interesting view point. how I see it, you are both taking care of each other. shouldn’t that be whats important in a partnership? you, the woman are providing the calm the relaxing, the connection, on a greater level. while he provides the money, the hard work, the muscle, the protection. if you have ever seen him naked, or hurt, or sad you see that he has all emotions like women do, and your just helping him connect, express or process that part of him. just because he sucks on your breasts doesn’t mean he will not be your provider or protector.
I am curious if anyone has experienced a sense of loss or a dependence once you being an ANR and are not able to be with eachother for several days
I agree. As a husband who feels the weight of the world on him everyday as a devoted husband, father of 4 and small business owner……..that time “given” to the husband in an ANR session is unspeakably re-charging! So please re consider your thought on this one!!!! Unfortunately for me (married for 27 years) My wife really want nothing to do with this! during sex and foreplay is fine and wanted but whenever I bring up the subject in any form I am instantly and very forcefully rejected and shut down! This too has been very stressful to me and on the relationship. I am however a married catholic and believe in the SACRAMENT of marriage and the commitment you make when taking your vows. I am therefore in it to the end even if it really makes life seem very empty with out that connection anymore. I pray that one day she awakens to the benefits, joy, and peacefulness that an ANR really does have on a relationship.
My wife and I enjoy a nursing relationship 4-5 nights a week. For me it is incredibly intimate to be at her breast. I feel connected and close to her. For her it is almost hypnotic. She will often fall asleep with me still suckling.
I can’t for the life of me find anything wrong with this type of behavior. To the contrary it is a beautiful time that we spend together
She has expressed interest in trying to get her milk to come back in but in the grand scheme of things, for me, the intimacy that we share is all I need.
I understand where you’re coming from.
I personally do not think it makes your husband less of a man or less protective because he wants to latch on to his wife.
I feel that it might make your connection stronger & it might be a beautiful thing. A husband can be a protector, a provider & be the most masculine person on earth and still be vulnerable and loving with his wife.
I recently started researching this because I, myself am thinking about doing this with my man. He mentioned it & I think it could actually be an amazing thing. I think it’s somewhat sexual, but it’s much more than that. I feel like it’s an emotional and physical bonding time.
But when it comes down to it, if you’re not into it… I wouldn’t do it. If it intact makes you feel some kind of way about your husband, it might be a problem for you that you cannot get past.
I am absolutely fascinated with this, and my husband is THRILLED that we are planning to begin this journey together. My concern (because, in reality, it’s something we will HAVE to discuss eventually) is what do you tell people about my expanding cup size? It will be VERY noticeable on me. I know most people will tell me not to concern myself with what others think, but that’s not living in the real world for me. My 80 year old (very Catholic) mom lives with us, and my husband travels out of town a lot. So I will ultimately (🙏🏼) be on a pumping schedule in addition to the constant desire to be nursing. Help! This is the #1 concern I have and it’s VERY real. I’ve searched for days trying to find a discussion forum or blog on this part of ANR, and cannot find one single one.
It would be wonderful to have a relationship that has ANR in it.
The problem is that this is NOT something you talk about with someone you are getting to know while dating. It COULD be mentioned, but it can also destroy a budding relationship too.
I am a male in Texas, and wish it was easier to find a woman who naturally wants an ANR in a relationship.
Like many others in these comments, my wife and I stumbled on it per se. My wife nursed all 4 our of children, and as she would say, “had enough milk for the neighborhood”. It started with some playfulness and led to me suckling on her every morning and every night. It went on for over 8 years in all. We probably could have kept it up, but stopped when the last child stopped feeding. We look back on it as a special time that we both enjoyed. I don’t see anything wrong or unhealthy about it, and even with my suckling, my wife still had to pump excess mile every day while I was at work. Am I guilty of being obsessed with my wife’s breasts? I sure am. I am also crazy about her and have been crazy about her for almost 30 years!
The trick is to start slowly!