I’ve been thinking about fitness lately. More specifically, I’ve been frustrated by my lack of fitness lately. For those who are long time readers, this is an ongoing frustration. I’ve been technically obese my entire adult life, and while I don’t look obese (I’m 6’1″ with a large frame), I certainly don’t look fit.
And with this new job, it’s gotten worse. I gained about 10 lbs in the first two months. Not good. So, last week I bought a FitBit second hand with the hope that having something on my wrist might help keep me focused.
Seems to be working so far.
But, I got to thinking, I bet there are more of us out there among the SexWithinMarriage.com readers who are similarly frustrated. Plus, there is something I’ve been wanting to test for a long time: does being more fit and active, and losing weight, contribute to a better sex life? Particularly in a stable, married relationship.
However, I don’t think a single marriage is enough to gather the necessary data, and I don’t think I can solve this with a simple survey. So, here’s what I propose, or rather, here’s my dream:
We gather a couple of people who are interested in loosing weight & being more fit. We track them for 6 months, and see if their sex lives improve along with any weight loss and/or fitness habits. Ideally there would be a way to hold people accountable and encourage each other.
So, here’s my plan:
- I’ve created a secret Facebook group to build a small community of participants. Everyone participates in holding each other accountable and encouraging each other. Together, we will get fit and lose weight, hopefully while improving our married sex lives as well.
- Payment for joining the group is your continued data. We’ll have weekly surveys (including name, weight, eating habits, sexual frequency) that need to be submitted. Individual data will be protected and never released. We will only publish results as an aggregate. Miss one survey check-in, and you’ll get a warning. Miss two in a row, and you may find yourself removed from the group. Of course, I reserve the right to adjust based on extenuating circumstances.
- The caveat is that you will lose your anonymity within this small group. It’s Facebook after all. I’d use a forum, but we’ve tried that before, and it failed miserably. Fact is, people prefer ease of use rather than anonymity.
Now, this is not for everyone. I know I have readers where the marriage is not stable, or there are other underlying issues that make weight loss and/or fitness a null point regarding sexual frequency. For them, this would be an exercise in frustration (though getting fit is never a bad idea). There are others who are already fit and don’t need to lose weight, and I’m sure there are many who are simply not willing to share such personal data with their name attached, and that’s completely understandable.
But, if you:
- are looking for this level of accountability
- want to get serious about your fitness and eating habits
- think a group of like-minded people with the same goal might help you do so
- are willing to help them achieve the same goal
- are willing to donate your personal statistics towards this venture
- want to see if this might improve your sex life
Then, I invite you fill out the form below in order to get an invitation to the Facebook group. I’m not sure how long I’m keeping registration open. It probably depends on how many people respond. So, if you’re considering it, you might want to get in now.
37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex
Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.