Tag Archives: sexual behaviors

SWM 144 – Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it

One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.

This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do.  I shared my thoughts in the forum in a bit of a rant and then realized that I don’t know if I’ve really tackled this a whole lot on the blog and podcast.  If I have, it’s been a few years, so it’s time for a refresher for the new people.

So, I’m going to try and make it a little less ranty and a little more coherent and see if maybe I can teach some other wives and women out there a bit about what many men think regarding sex in the hopes that it might help some marriages, present or future.

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

Wife turned on by naked women

This question came through on a survey comment, and I’m finally getting around to addressing it. I am a heterosexual married woman, and never been with anyone besides my husband. However, the sight of bare female breasts turns me on. I don’t seek it out

Book Review: The Passion Principles

The Passion Principles: Celebrating Sexual Freedom in Marriage by Shannon Ethridge (author of The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts) is all about sex within marriage (my favorite topic).  It is less a book, in the traditional sense, and more a collection of articles, almost

Book Review: The Fantasy Fallacy

Last month, I finally got to read The Fantasy Fallacy by Shannon Ethridge.  It had been in my kindle for a while just itching to be read.  The Fantasy Fallacy addresses a timeless question I think, but made even more timely in our particular age,

Is it okay to track how often you have sex?

How often do you have sex?  Do you know?  Are you sure?  Do you ever have a disagreement about when the last time you had sex was?  Or how often you have sex on average?  I came across a study once (I wish I could

Book Review: Real Marriage

Last week I was asked what my opinions on the book “Real Marriage” by Mark & Grace Driscoll were.  I didn’t have any because I hadn’t read the book.  I’ve seen the cover here and there, and I’d heard the name, but no-one’s opinion of the

Asperger’s Syndrome and marriage

Two posts ago, I wrote about dealing with a non-neural-typical spouse.  If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest going back and doing so to frame this post.  It also has a lot of content I’m going to leverage in this one.  In fact, I’m