SWM020: 7 Dirty Fighting Techniques That Should Not Exist In Your Marriage

Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for PostsI once heard it said that the definition of conflict is two people in the same ZIP code.  Well, in marriage the people are a lot closer than that, and this inevitably spawns conflict.  Now, conflict isn’t bad, in fact, it can be good and healthy.  Conflict forces us to grow, to see another person’s perspective, to seek unselfish solutions.  But, if conflict is dealt with in an unhealthy manner, then it can be damaging.  Today I’m going to share with you 7 damaging conflict behaviours that you might recognize in your marriage.  If any of these ring a bell, you need to start working to rid yourself of them in your relationship.

  1. Ineffective Conflict Behaviours - Family Contract - ImageKitchen-sinking
  2. Self-summarizing
  3. Presumptive attributions
  4. Cross-complaining
  5. Closed-questioning
  6. Prescriptioning
  7. Hit-and-running

Want to really make this stick?  Download this family contract and make everyone sign it.  Then stick it on your fridge.  If you have kids, watch how quickly you change your communication behaviours when they’re correcting you.

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8 thoughts on “SWM020: 7 Dirty Fighting Techniques That Should Not Exist In Your Marriage”

  1. Mike says:

    I like your labeling of these behaviors. We have worked on these for years. We have finally conquered several for a period of time. At times of weakness we revert to old behaviors. Fortunately we have learned to quickly forgive and commit to change.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Thanks Mike.

  2. Butterflywings says:

    Am I missing part of the post? Is there a description of them somewhere? I just haven’t heard of some of them before – or at least not described with those titles.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Yeah, the podcast removed itself. Sorry about that. It’s back now.

  3. Climaxx says:

    Yep. Same here. I am slightly lost because I have no idea what it means.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Sorry, been having some trouble with my podcasting plugin. It’s fixed now.

  4. Gilbert says:

    No offence, I’m sure this was great, and I have an idea what those things are, some better than others, so it would have been helpful for this reader if you had defined each of the bad tactics.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      None taken. I’m guessing you didn’t listen to the podcast…where I spent 14 minutes discussing them. I guess I should explicitly state that these are the show notes to the podcast episode. Not a full transcript of it.

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