SWM012: Why do married men masturbate?

Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for PostsI wrote a post on this topic a few years ago and thought I’d do a podcast version for those who don’t read the blog, or are new and aren’t aware of my older posts.  I believe married men (or women) masturbate for three reasons: Ignorance, Selfishness and/or Addiction.


  • They don’t know the damage they are doing to their relationship
  • They don’t communicate about sex, and so their spouse either doesn’t know or hasn’t shared how it’s hurting them
  • They’ve never been asked to stop


  • They’re more interested in an orgasm than a relationship
  • It’s easier to get an orgasm alone without a partner
  • You don’t have to worry about their feelings or their pleasure
  • You can focus on you 100%
  • You don’t have to be intimate and vulnerable alone
  • Solo masturbation is much “safer, emotionally


  • Whatever the reason for starting, they can’t stop
  • Their brain is programmed to do it and it’s hard to stop those neuropathways from firing
  • They need help to break the cycle, it’s too much for them to fight on their own
  • Check out Anonymous Marriage Coaching if you need help freeing yourself from this cycle
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