My wife left me and took the kids to her parents house. So I’m a bachelor again, in an empty house to myself, doing what I want, when I want. It’s very odd going from being a husband and father of 5 to being “single” again. And you know what? I don’t really like it. I miss my wife, and not just for sex (though I miss that too).
Probably one of the most common criticisms I get is that people get the impression that I think marriage is only about sex. They think that because I have a ministry that focuses on sex within marriage that I believe the other aspects of marriage are less important, or not important at all. But, I think my long term readers know better. In almost every post I think you can read that, while sex is important, there’s a lot more going on under the covers, so to speak, that contribute to a healthy sex life.
In order to have a great sex life you need to learn to be selfless and caring. You need to learn to communicate effectively. You need to learn to love unconditionally and be a Christ-like example to your spouse. All these things, and many more contribute not only to a healthy sex life, but to a healthy marriage as a whole. But even that isn’t all of it.
I miss doing life with my wife. The simple things, like being able to complain about the heat and be heard, or being brought a snack (she makes so many delicious things). I miss just being together in the house, even if we’re not in the same room, and knowing she’s near by. I miss talking. I miss watching TV together. I miss falling asleep in the same bed even though we tend to sleep as far apart from each other as physically possible in our king sized bed.
I miss having a shared life. I miss having someone here who I know, who I know deeply, and who knows me.
“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” – Genesis 2:18a
That went for Adam, and I think it goes for me as well. Simply put, without my wife, life isn’t the same. It’s emptier. I won’t say it’s not worth living, I could probably continue to find joy and be content and work for God…but it wouldn’t be as full. It’s not as “good”, and it’s that fullness I’m missing I think.
So, if you’re a new reader, please don’t misunderstand. Yes, this blog focuses on sex, but that’s not the ultimate goal. I focus on sex because so few are, and because there is such a need for healthy, Christian discussion of sexuality, but we are all working towards healthy, strong, holistic marriages, where your spiritual, emotional and physical relationship with your spouse is strong across the board. But even through the discussion of sex, if you look for it, you will often find deeper meanings, core marriage concepts that underpin the discussion and build the foundation for a healthy and satisfying sex life, because I’ve yet to meet a couple that has an awesome sex life and a terrible marriage, or a terrible sex life and an awesome marriage (though I have met some who have fooled themselves into believe it’s possible).
P.S. Don’t worry, our relationship is fine. I’m meeting up with them on Friday so we can continue the vacation together.