Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress?

Jay Dee

Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress?

Mar 26, 2018

A couple of weeks ago, I received this question on our anonymous questions page: My husband wants to occasionally dress as a woman, including makeup, wig, etc.  He insists there is no sex or “turn on” with it.  Early in our marriage he

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What do you do if your Christian husband is crossdressing? 1. Find out why they feel the need to cross dress 2. Let them know you love them. 3. Let them know that you don't support this choice. 4. Help them find alternative ways to express themselves.A couple of weeks ago, I received this question on our anonymous questions page:

My husband wants to occasionally dress as a woman, including makeup, wig, etc.  He insists there is no sex or “turn on” with it.  Early in our marriage he was open with me that he crossdressed.  At that point there was sex involved when he crossdressed, but I felt uncomfortable and asked him to stop.  He abstained from crossdressing many years, and for the past couple of years he has again been crossdressing.  From what I’ve read, it is quite typical for a crossdresser to use it in a sexual way when younger, then take some time away from it, then around middle age return to crossdressing with a desire to “present” as a woman, but without the sexual component.  It feels wrong to me, but I also feel like if it is something he really feels he needs (he describes it as just a part of himself that he needs to express), maybe I should be supportive of him.   Again, it is not a part of our bedroom and he claims it is not a turn on for him, simply something he feels the need to do.  We have been in therapy working on basically communication issues for several years (when we began counseling this was not even an issue), and when we’ve discussed crossdressing with our therapist she seems very supportive of it.  She does not identify herself as a Christian, though I don’t know her personal spiritual beliefs.  I know in some cultures it is common, even a sign of honor to crossdress.  That certainly is not the case in our culture, but being accepting of gender differences is more and more supported.  I think that is why our therapist is supportive of crossdressing, and partly why I am so conflicted about this.

Is it okay for Christians to crossdress?

Someone is going to get upset at me for this, but I’m going to say no, it’s not okay.

A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God. – Deut 22:5

Now, some have done things to this verse to say that women can’t wear pants, but that’s not what it says.  Really what it says is that women can’t wear clothes that society has clearly deemed “men’s”, and men can’t wear clothes are that clearly deemed “women’s” in our society.  Why?  It doesn’t really say.  I believe it’s because God is very concerned about genders.  He created us to be men, or women, and doesn’t want us trying to be something else.

And if you take the biblical view of men and women, that is men being a metaphor for God, and women a metaphor for the church, his people, etc., then we can see why blurring the lines between man and woman becomes a serious issue.  As our society blurs those lines, we also blur the lines between God and man.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. Romans 1:24-25

In short, God seems very concerned about the proper order of things.  Some are likely to turn this into a whole gender equality argument, but it’s not.  The genders are equal in value.  But that doesn’t mean they are identical in other ways.  And our society is trying very hard to do away with the whole concept of gender.  The first step is separating gender from sex.  One of the items in the news this week, is about how Service Ontario (where we get our Driver’s Licenses renewed, and other fun stuff) will no longer use terms like “sir, ma’am, Mr., Mrs. Ms., father, or mother” because they’re all considered too gender biased.  Because God-forbid you assume someone with a beard and a wife who marks his “sex” as male on a form self-identifies as a man.

This is a rejection of Deut 22:5 taken to the next level in my opinion.

Is this “done away with”?

Now, some will throw out Deut 22:5 as an “Old Testament verse that is nailed to the cross” however, that argument doesn’t really hold any weight with me, because nothing about cross dressing pointed to Christ’s death.

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. – Matthew 5:17-19

In short: Christ came to fulfill those parts of the law that were about Him.  The sanctuary system, festivals, etc..  I don’t think the order of genders will ever be “done away with” until perhaps after “heaven and earth pass away”.

Why is he crossdressing?

The next question people tend to have is, “Why is he doing it?”  I actually got a chance to discuss this with this person who sent in the question.  In short, he works in a job that is stereotypically male dominated and considered “manly”.  He feels he has some things he wants to express, but doesn’t think he can as a man.  He feels crossdressing allows him the freedom of expression that isn’t otherwise allowed.

And this is something a lot of men struggle with, in some way or another.  Most don’t resort to crossdressing, but rather just bury those parts of themselves.  We are taught growing up that certain expressions (crying, for example) are not manly.  There’s only about three emotions we’re allowed to have:  We can be angry, horny or hungry.  Even when we’re happy, it’s not considered “acceptable” to be sappy sort of happy.  It has to be like an “I won!” sort of happy where you clearly dominated everyone else, so in that way, it’s almost like another facet of anger, if you get what I mean.  It’s not joy out of having something, but joy out of others not having what you have.

Point is, things like sadness, joy in someone else’s accomplishment, fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, regret, anxiety, loneliness, and a host of others we don’t feel comfortable sharing, nor often do we have a vocabulary to do so.  Often if you ask men what they’re feeling, they’re confused by the question.  We tend not to be very self-aware of what’s going on with us on an emotional level.

As well, men are expected to have manly hobbies.  Fishing, hunting, fighting, sports, building, etc..  If you decide to take up knitting, well you’re going to catch a lot of flack.  If you want to dress … well, with some flair, shall we say, people will assume you are homosexual.

So, I can see the freedom felt in crossdressing, because it sheds all that baggage and could let you feel like you can express yourself without as many reservations.

So, how do you express yourself without crossdressing?

Well, you learn to express yourself as your real self.  Rather than put on a fake persona, live authentically in your life.  It’s not easy.  You will definitely be ridiculed and some will have some wrong thoughts and opinions about it, but, frankly, they’re going to do that with crossdressing too.

The fact is, men can express other emotions, and when they learn to, they’re better off for it.  Crossdressing is a bit like having an affair rather than working on your marriage.  It takes a lot of energy, and might be exciting and fun, and feel like what you need, but you’re putting your effort in the wrong place.  Fix the life you are living, rather than living a lie.

In a lot of cases, men can learn from their wives to do this.  Usually they grow up learning the vocabulary needed to express themselves far better than we men do.  They’re also generally more comfortable with having others express their emotions, and so won’t be put off by you trying.  Wives can help by asking how they’re feeling, and not accepting a “thinking” answer.  Or, the way we teach kids is to say “you seem like you’re feeling ___ because of ____” is that how you’re feeling?  It can seem a little patronizing to an adult, but it does help them start linking feelings to words better.

I’ve told coaching clients to practice by, when sharing about their day, to say “At work, xyz happened, and it made me feel _____”.  Not only does it get you more comfortable sharing how you feel, but it also helps your wife feel more connected to the deeper you.

What if there’s a sexual component?

For others, there is a sexual component to crossdressing.  In all honesty, neither I, nor the wife who wrote the question is sure there isn’t.  She says that in the past, there was sex involved, which she put a stop to, but that now her husband says there’s no sexual component to his crossdressing.

I’m not sure I trust that.  It’s quite possible that he’s just saying that because she reacted negatively in the past.

The sexual part gets confusing.  It could just be a further extension of wanting to express yourself in ways that you feel you can’t as a man.  If you grew up thinking men should basically just pound their wife into the bed until they both orgasm, but you are looking for something softer and gentler, you may feel that you can’t do that as a man.  But, as a woman, you could.

Now, for some there is same-sex attraction, or gender dysphoria (where you don’t feel that you are the gender you are born with), and those get into far more complicated topics.  In some cases (some say many or most), it has to do with childhood abuse.  Whether it does or not, sometimes the answer is simply accepting that you have same sex attraction and accepting that it’s a temptation that you won’t indulge in.  For others, it’s a little more difficult.  To be honest, I lack both the research or experience to deal with those harder cases.

How do you deal with this as a wife?

Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress? What would you do if it was your spouse?This is the hard part.  Some would simply say “divorce him”, but to be honest, I can’t see biblical grounds for that.  Even if he felt convicted that the Bible said it was wrong and continued to do it, even if he left the faith completely, that’s not a valid reason to divorce.

And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. – 1 Corinthians 7:13

If it’s intolerable to her, she could separate, but even then, I’d say there’s probably something else going in the marriage if it pushed you that far.  I’d think you are likely blaming the crossdressing as an easy escape.

The answer, as always, is to love the person while recognizing that the behaviour is sinful.  In that way, he’s no better or worse than any of us.  Yes, his particular behaviour may be more visible, and less socially acceptable (particularly in Christianity), but he’s still God’s creation, and I know God loves him.  How could I do any less?

So, what would I do?  I’d make it very clear that I love them, as they are, and always will.  I’d also be clear that I don’t like this behaviour, and I’ll never say it’s okay.  I’d try to understand the source of this desire, as she has.  I’d probably try to encourage him to learn to express himself fully, without the crossdressing.  That might be met with a lot of resistance, and they might not be willing to do it.  But I’d offer to be there to help if they ever are.

One question that came up during the course of our discussions in our private facebook group is going out in public while he’s crossdressing.  I’m of two minds about this.

Part of me says that I’d set a boundary that says I’m not willing to participate in this behaviour, so I wouldn’t.  Another part of me says I’m being a hypocrite, because I’m willing to go out with people who smoke and drink, even though I think that’s not okay.  Why?  Because they’re more socially acceptable?  Because there’s more people doing it?

You know what, I think I just solved my own dilema.  Jesus sat with tax collectors and prostitutes.  He didn’t require that they change their behaviour before he spent time with them.  He loved them, and invited them to change.  So, I guess that should be my example.

I’d encourage more communion with God.  Establish devotions and prayer as habits, if they aren’t already.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. – James 5:16

Encourage transparency and authenticity, which means being open about your struggles.  I know that’s hard, and often not encouraged in Christianity, unfortunately.  It’s something we’ve lost.  I heard a while back that in the early days of the denomination we’re a part of, members would get together weekly to share their struggles and failures.  Their sins and temptations.  So that others could console them and pray for them.  Can you imagine?  Part of me says “Thank God we don’t do that anymore”, but another part of me knows that God had no part in us losing that habit…

Is it okay to crossdress as a Christian?

For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. – James 2:10

We need to recognize that crossdressing is just another sin.  It’s no better or worse than lying, than not being hospitable, or even than not being perfect.

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. – Romans 3:22-24

We need to realize that the same grace that justifies us justifies anyone engaging in this behaviour.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? – Romans 6:1-2

That said, we need to be clear that this is sin.  Some will ask whether or not it’s a salvation issue, but that’s a wall Christians like to hide behind to rationalize away working on “common” sins.  There are no salvation issues.  Or, more accurately, everything is a salvation issue.  Continuing to engage in any sin, deciding to ignore conviction, or self-justify that sin away leads us to ignore God’s prompting, and could ultimately lead to us turning away from Him.  In that way, it’s a serious issue … like all our sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. – 1 John 1:8

So, let’s be compassionate while firm.  Showing love while holding each other accountable.  In this way, I think we can show people both God’s loving mercy and grace as well as His loving law and truth.

 

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17 thoughts on “Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress?”

  1. Mike says:

    My wife said that in her childhood a neighbor was arrested for going out in public crossdressed. I do not know if that happens anywhere today in the USA. I wonder what happens in other less progressive countries? I personally would feel very uncomfortable around someone who cross dressed. It does not seem normal to me.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I work just outside of the “gay district” in town. Even the crosswalks in that area are painted by the city as rainbows. Every business has a pride flag in the window. I see a crossdresser nearly every day I go to work.

  2. JT says:

    Beautifully said Jay. Speaks truth wrapped in loving compassion understanding that our lives even as Christians are touched by much brokenness, and sin. It’s always a tough task to bring truth to view while allowing for grace and yet not dismiss that change is required. Thankfully, for us all as Christians, we have an advocate in Christ and source in the Holy Spirit to aid the change required, if we are willing enough to admit our own sins and shortcomings and accept that help. It certainly helps as well when our Christian community can stand with us and help us move toward change in a humble spirit recognizing our own brokenness and grace applied to us, hopefully by our Christian community as well as certainly by God.

    The challenge often comes in uncovering what has been broken, or missing in our lives apart from God’s desire and design, so we can correct what we often seek to resolve or fulfill in wrong ways born out of a lack of understanding of what is missing and broken. For myself, at 58, I have only in the the past couple years seen how my past and the environment I was raised in affect how I respond in relationships so I can make changes. Learning to connect to emotions and feelings intentionally or unintentionally suppressed has been a major step forward and not a trivial effort. I believe it is especially difficult for a man in a society that associates manliness with machoism. However, now I fear the tendency is moving too far and feminizing men blurring the lines of gender and the value and complimentary nature of each by God’s design.

  3. Kay says:

    Do you think what counts as cross dressing depends on culture a bit? Just curious. Since different cultures have different gender approved clothes? (Genuine questions here for you, no sass, I promise!) One of my college professors taught at a conservative Christian college as a young woman and they tried to fire her using this verse when she started wearing pants after she broke her leg and couldn’t get around in the snow on her scooter in her full-length dresses according to dress code. She ended up before the school board and called them a bunch of ninnies. 😆 But she kept her job.

    I wonder how some of those changes come about over time? Same with makeup, which has historically been worn by men more than women, yet everyone got all ticked off when the makeup companies added male spokespersons recently. Do we follow the culture’s gender standard in the same way our culture defines modesty?

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Yeah, I definitely do, otherwise the Bible would have specified particular cuts when talking about clothing, rather than just “don’t dress like a man if you are a woman, and visa-versa”. In fact, I had someone on Facebook argue that pants are commanded in the Bible (link), but it’s based on some cherry picking some verses, pulling them out of context, and then applying them in a way that lacks logical consistency. I’ll paste it here, just in case they delete the thread:


      Reader 1 – So…. Pants used to be deemed man’s dress. But because society has accepted it now as women’s dress, it’s okay to dress like a man? God never changes His ways to society’s “culture.” He has his own culture that his people adhere to if they love him.
      The argument that women who cross dressed in trousers was that it was “freeing” and “easy to get around in.” Incidentally, these are also the reasons that men now say about wearing skirts. What is good for the goose isn’t good for the gander?
      Another point, God never told a women to “gird up her loins,” which was to cause a split or a “breech” between the thighs. In Biblical times, only the men were allowed to wear anything that “breached the thigh” because that pertained to what he considered man’s clothing. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Think he has changed his mind about that? I don’t, and maybe when we get to heaven he will say it wasn’t a big deal. But I’d rather get there and be told it wasn’t a big deal, rather than not able to walk past those pearly gates, all for sake of wearing pants just because I thought I looked good in them and society said it was okay.

      Reader 2 – Is it in the old test, I never realized it if it is! The laws you find something new every time you read it.

      Reader 1 – Yeah, he told the priests to wear breeches so that people wouldn’t see up their robes when they went up into the tabernacle and temple and forbade women ever wearing them.

      Jay Dee – There are a few problems with this argument:

      1) The command you reference about “men only being allowed to wear anything that breached the thigh” isn’t quite true, it’s actually an inverse of the command in Exodus 28:42, which was only for the priests. In fact verse 43, says “For Aaron and his sons”. So does Exodus 39:27, and it wasn’t about pants, it was about underwear. So, if you wanted to take this to the extent you have, then you’d have to argue that only priests can wear underwear. Either that, or all men have to wear both underwear and, girdles and bonnets.

      However, it doesn’t say that either. Only that priests have to. And only if they are serving in the temple. This is repeated in Leviticus 6:10, 16:23,16:3, Ezekiel 44:15-19 where it says when they should wear these particular clothes.

      2) “God’s culture” – So, even if we ignore all those verses (bad idea, but for the sake of argument), then we should see evidence of godly men wearing wearing underwear, or at least pants, or “breeched robes”, or whatever you want to call them. However, we don’t. What we see is Noah falling down drunk and his sons seeing his genitals. Now, that happened before these verses, but if “God’s culture doesn’t change”, then timing makes no difference.

      We also see In Deut 25:11-12 that if two men are fighting and the wife of one of them grabs the other man by his genitals, then she’s to have her hand cut off. But wait, how could she do that if he’s wearing pants? Did she manage to undo his pants first in the midst of the fight? More likely they had an incident where the men where fighting, started grappling on the ground, and she just reached up a robe and grabbed a guy, likely for fear her husband would be beaten into a pulp. But, that doesn’t fit the pants narrative.

      3) Women were never told to gird up their loins – In fact, they were. We see it as passover. Exodus 12:11. Now, you might argue that that was only the men, but why? All of them had to leave in a hurry. Men, women, children. It doesn’t make logical sense that only the men should. Especially in light of my first point that only priests had to wear underwear, and the second point that it seems men didn’t.

      Plus, there is no mention anywhere else in the Bible about pants, or the cut of clothing. Rather, we see repeated texts about proper order of genders. Even when talking about clothing, pants, “breeches” or even underwear aren’t mentioned. Like in 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:1.

      In short, I don’t see any command in the Bible that men should wear pants. What I see is a few hand-picked verses taken out of their context and then attempted to be strung together to create a man-made doctrine to support what an individual feels is “proper” in their own culture and view.


      Does that help?

      1. Kay says:

        Thanks, Jay! I appreciate your thoughtful reply. How do we navigate those transitions though, as my professor had to do? Maybe it’s a matter of motives, to some extent? She was not trying to “dress like a man,” she just needed to be able to get around campus and an ankle length skirt made that impossible. Whereas typical cross-dressing isn’t about practicality, it’s specifcally about trying to look like the opposite gender?

        1. Jay Dee says:

          I think we have to realize that there will always be legalistic Christians who will focus on the behaviour more than the relationship with God. We have to be careful when they’re in positions of authority over us. Doesn’t mean we should cave, but sometime it’s not worth the fight, especially if they’re not open to listening. And yeah, in this case, I think it’s about trying to blur gender lines. Otherwise the bible would have more concrete examples I think.

  4. Lindsay Harold says:

    I think you’re mostly right in this article. However, I did want to address this one comment:

    “We need to recognize that crossdressing is just another sin. It’s no better or worse than lying, than not being hospitable, or even than not being perfect.”

    I realize that the idea that all sins are equal is very common in the church today, but I don’t see it in the Bible. In one regard, all sins are equal in that they all separate us from God. But some sins have more harmful effects than others. And some sins require a greater degree of rebellion against God than others. It’s certainly sinful to lose our temper and yell at the kids, but that’s not equally harmful or as deviant from God’s plan as abusively beating the child or sexually molesting them. It’s certainly sinful for a boyfriend and girlfriend to have premarital sex together, but it’s not as deviant against God’s design for their bodies as engaging in an impersonal hookup or in homosexual sex. There are different degrees of deviancy and rebellion in different sins.

    It is for this reason that the Bible identifies some sins as being especially heinous and those who do them as especially worthy of condemnation. Those who do certain sins have shown by their actions that they are in direct rebellion against God and thus are not saved. One cannot embrace Christ and yet live in rebellion against God. Christians can and do sin in various ways, but there are some sins that a Christian cannot commit because to commit that sin would require purposely acting in rebellion against God and, in the process, rejecting Christ as Savior and Lord.

    One of those sins that is directly condemned as particularly showing rebellion against God is cross-dressing.

    1 Cor. 6:9-11  Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. 

    The problem isn’t the clothing, per se, but the embrace of effeminate traits and appearance by a man (or masculine traits and appearance by a woman). This is a violation of God’s design for us. God made us embodied spirits who are male or female and this is part of His very good identity for us. When we reject His design for who and what we are, we are living in rebellion against Him and against His authority as our Creator.

    So while I agree that it may be helpful for this man to learn to express his feelings in more productive ways and that his wife should be understanding and loving while not condoning his behavior, I don’t think we can place this activity in the same classification as not being hospitable or losing our temper once in awhile. It involves a certain rejection of God’s design for us to pretend to be the opposite sex and this is a type of rebellion against God.

    One good source for seeing how many of the problems that plague our society today have a common origin in a denigration of the body God that God gave us is Nancy Pearcey’s new book Love Thy Body. Perhaps reading that book can give the wife in this case some perspective on the underlying worldview that leads people to believe and act as though they are different than what their body shows. Many today believe and act as if their mind can simply use their body like a tool in whatever way they wish rather than our bodies being an integral part of who we are that deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Our bodies are not mere fleshly machines in which the real us is trapped. Our minds were not designed to be at war with our bodies. Embracing the physical body we have and its design rather than being internally divided can bring great healing.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I don’t know about that. Ultimately there is only one sin: pride. We think we know better than God. In that light, all sins are equally damaging to our relationship with Him. Though, I agree, some have larger consequences in our daily life and our relationships with others.

      As for that 1 Cor 6:9-11 passage pretty much describes everyone at one point or another. I think, rather, the point is that living a lifestyle of sin ultimately leads you away from God. Lying won’t stop you from inheriting the kingdom, but being a liar, that is having a habit of lying might turn you away from Him. Stealing something won’t, but a lifestyle of being a thief is probably hard to accept God knowing what you are doing to make a living.

      With that view of the passage, the rest of scripture seems to be in logical consistency again. Otherwise you have a lot of verses that appear to contradict each other.

    2. Roy says:

      Look to Proverbs 6:16-19 to find sins God hates, and which are an abomination to him. Sadly, many Christians don’t seem to have the same opinion as God does regarding those sins. It’s easy to find ways to declare certain sins as particularly vile when we’re not tempted in those areas, while not truly confronting the matters of the heart that God (according to His Word) feels very strongly about.

  5. Jake Smith says:

    If this desire is really born from a need to express himself emotionally in some way, I would like to add a suggestion.

    Build a close group of men that you can be real with. Not just for him, but all men. As you learn how to be real with your band of brothers, you’ll also learn how to be real with others, your wife, Jesus, and yourself.

    Managing your emotions is not the same as denying them, or hiding them. It is the opposite. It is understanding them. A group of Jesus loving men can help. As much as we’d like to think so, we men, were not built to do life alone.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Good suggestion!

  6. Dave in Boise says:

    Jay, I am a huge fan and agree with you 99% of the time. But this time I have to respectfully disagree.
    This seems contrary to your previous posts that God has no limits on the holy bed of marriage other than it be consensual, no one gets hurt and no third parties. As long as cross dressing stays in the bedroom I don’t see the harm.

    First, you base the entire argument on one old-testament verse, Deuteronomy 22:5. We have to be careful when pulling verses out of context, especially the old testament. Reading down just a little from Deuteronomy 22:5, verse 11 “Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together” … do you have any poly-cotton blends in your closet? Sin! Sin I tell you! Then verse 12 “Make tassels on the four corners of cloak you wear”. My Jehovah’s Witness friend doesn’t believe in blood transfusions because of Leviticus 17:10-12.

    Much like we make rules for our children to keep them from harm (“don’t touch the hot stove”), God’s rules are to keep us from hurting ourselves, others, and to make life here more like heaven. As a Christian of 40 years, I’m so past the legalism. If a rule doesn’t serve one of those purposes then sorry I’m highly skeptical.

    Second, I don’t see the harm. I agree that God wants men to dress and act like men in public, and same for women, appropriate for the culture. But IMHO that does not apply to the bedroom for short periods of sexy play time. There are lots of things we do and wear (or not wear) in the bedroom that would be sinful (or even illegal) to do/wear outside the bedroom.

    My only experience with this was one Halloween I dressed up in my wife’s clothes, a wig and ugly makeup. It was a lot of laughs. Do you think I sinned? I don’t, and I believe God is okay with Mrs. Doubtfire.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Hi Dave!

      That’s okay, don’t need to agree on everything.
      However, allow me to clarify my thoughts. Firstly, I don’t believe Deut 22:5 is the only verse. We have many that show that genders matter to God, besides the simple fact that He created them (Genesis 1:27).
      As for the “context” of Deut 22, there really isn’t context in that section. We have a passage about straying ox and sheep, then the clothing then, the not to kill a bird if you are going to take the eggs, then making sure your house is safe for visitors, then gardening suggestions, then plowing suggestions, then the mixed clothing and then tassels.

      However, the bible is clear that God made genders for a reason, that these genders are important, not only in a practical “you need them to procreate” method, but also as a metaphor for God’s relationship with us. When we cross those boundaries, it seems to be a big deal, whether it be cross dressing or homosexuality. Otherwise, we could say the same thing about homosexuality. What’s the harm of what two people do behind closed doors?

      As for the rest, I see the old testament laws being split into fairly distinct categories. I don’t have an exhaustive list off the top of my head, but we see:
      The sanctuary system – which was to teach us about Christ
      Health laws – because they didn’t have the knowledge we have, or the technology
      Judicial laws – because they didn’t have a system of law
      Separation laws – because, well, we see what happened when the Israelites forgot that they were a separate people
      Moral laws – 10 commandments and others, to teach us how to honour God and others

      The sanctuary system – was fulfilled by Christ, this is what he meant in Matthew 5:17-18. But, he also said that the law is not done away with and that it is still valid. So, what part?
      Health laws – we actually still follow some of these occasionally, like doctors washing their hands in running water. Others, we can do better than what they could with their technology and knowledge. We understand how to deal with mold and mildew without having to abandon the house.
      Judicial laws – we have judicial systems in our countries that we are urged to follow
      Separation laws – we aren’t Israelites – the word has been spread to other peoples – we should be “in the world, but not of the world”, it’s no longer our appearance that separates us, but our behaviours
      Moral laws – these never changed – God’s truth is unending – it is still wrong to murder, steal, commit adultery, worship idols, not keep the Sabbath, commit bestiality, human sacrifice, and many more.

      I’d argue cross dressing falls in this last category. It has nothing to do with health, judiciary, separation or the sanctuary system.

      So, I agree, we need to be very careful about Old Testament laws. Some of them are still important!

      As for Halloween, that’s up to you. Not my place to judge your heart. That’s sort of outside of the principle I was talking about unless you’re doing it to flaunt the fact that you disrespect the difference of genders. But, when that happens in the bedroom, I’m not sure how else you’d mean it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Let me ask this :
    1 do you wear wool clothes and cotton clothes?
    2 do you eat pork?
    3 do you work Saturday’s?

    If you awnserd yes to these questions then you are going to hell
    If no then heaven for you.
    Why I ask these questions is because those are old covenent rules.
    If you live by those rules, is personal, then you have to follow every law that was set by moses. Like I said it is a personal choie

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Well, I don’t keep seperate cloths, because I see that as a seperation law for the Israelites. We are now called to be separated by our behavior.

      But I don’t eat pork and I keep Sabbath. I see nothing in scripture to tell me God remade pigs in a way that makes them healthy to eat, or that he transferred the holiness of Sabbath to another day.

      Now, even if you one of those Christians who writes off the Old Testament as a mistake, I did mention more New Testament verses than Old Testament.

      But I agree, it’s always a personal choice to follow God or not.

  8. Aubry says:

    Really, it is just clothing someone told me she I asked about crossdressing. The problem it is not just clothing. I know first hand and trust me any man is better off not wearing women s clothing or crisscrossing if you will. Why? First off the comment it is just clothing is a bit midleading. Second crossdressing is very prrgressive. First just clothing. Ok if it is just clothing then w
    hy was it that the first time I put on a pair of my sister’s nylon panties and a matching half slip (giving my age away) I began so aroused I could not control myself and unfortunately for me that was my first sexual experience which imprinted me for life. The thing is they were silky nylon and the feel and resulting sensations were something only girls and women felt not men. Ok that goes on for awhile then you get a little older so let’s try on her dress as well. Same arousal but even more rewarding and you like how you look and feel wearing panties a slip and a dress. So how it progressed for me is as follows. So by age 14 all my sexual experiences have been while wearing girls lingerie and dresses. I am imprinted. But I want more (progressive) so I did the worst thing and I remember the weekend. My sister was 17 and my parents were taking her to look at a college and I convinced them I could stay by myself. I waited until I knew they would not be back and it began. I went to sisters room and laid out in the bed a pair of her most silky sheet yes pink bikini panties with lace around leg openings, a matching camisole with lace on bottom, a matching bra and garter belt and off black stockings. Then went to her closet and took out her most beautiful chiffon party dress and 2 of her most silky soft not met but soft nylon like petticoats (the early 1960’s). I began getting dressed and I seemed to know how to but on the bra and garter belt and stockings and all the silky slippery sensations were overwhelming and with the petticoat s and dress I was completely hooked and aroused. From there it became an activity U did as often as I could and progressed to makeup long hair pierced ears shaved legs and underarms. By the times I was 20 I lived as a woman aroused 24/7 I even worked as a woman and lived with a female friend who assumed I was female. Since I am 5’6″ and slight built it was easy to be accepted as a woman. Thing is I was aroused constantly. This is not a good activity. The lingerie, clothing, makeup, long hair and long nails, perfume and silky night gowns are feminine and should never be tried in by men especially your boys who can be imptinted.

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