Do Christians make sex tapes?

Jay Dee

Do Christians make sex tapes?

May 06, 2015

A couple of weeks ago, we ran our survey titled Survey on Christians and the prevalence of home videos and pictures of the naked variety.  I know, catchy title, eh?  I guess I wasn’t feeling very creative that day. It was based on some questions

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A couple of weeks ago, we ran our survey titled Survey on Christians and the prevalence of home videos and pictures of the naked variety.  I know, catchy title, eh?  I guess I wasn’t feeling very creative that day.

It was based on some questions I had received since we’ve been talking about porn so much recently, like this one:

My wife an I don’t watch porn, as I would rather look at her than any other woman, especially one on a TV screen. However, we have video taped ourselves having sex, and do enjoy watching the tapes together before and during sex.

Note: we are very discreet regarding protection of the videos, as there are kids in the house!

I wonder if others do this, and what the range of opinions might be.

And other people were wondering if Christian couples made their own erotic material to consume, instead of partaking in what the world had to offer.  So, this survey was intended to answer the question “Do Christians make sex tapes?”

So, let’s start in on the data and find out.

First, the usual stuff:

384 total respondents: 111 Female, 265 Male, 8 undecided (or at least undisclosed)

Average sexual frequency is 2.0 times per week.

Recently I’ve started adding three more questions to our surveys:

Are you happy with the quantity of sex in your marriage?

  • Less than 1% said that no, they wanted less sex.
  • About 67% said they were not happy, they wish they had more.
  • And 32% said that they were happy.

I’ve added this question, because some people were saying that the amount of sex doesn’t mean they like that much.

Are you happy with the quality of sex in your marriage?

36% said No and 64% said Yes.

And this question was added because people were saying that they’d rather have higher quality than more sex.

What is your experience with porn?

  • 23% have been addicted to porn in the past
  • 54% said they have some exposure to porn (this is on top of those who have been addicted, are addicted, are trying to quit, and currently watch porn)
  • 9% said they are trying to quit porn use now
  • 1% said they were addicted to porn (I think this is low, because once you admit you’re addicted, I think you start trying to quit)
  • 9% said they currently watch porn (they don’t think they’re addicted)
  • Leaving only 4% who have never watched porn.  THAT is a sad figure.

This question was added because I get many comments from people saying “They don’t do that because of porn”.  Well, with only 4% of the people having no exposure to porn, it’s hard to tell one way or another.

By itself, these three new questions are not terribly interesting or informative.  I mean, it’s no wonder that we have a large percentage of people who visit here to want to have more sex.  I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised by how few people have no exposure to porn, but, I hope these stats will shed insight onto future stats.

So, on to the “meat” of the survey.

Note: I know there are probably some who think I shouldn’t be asking about pre-marital activities, by asking about experience with people other than your spouse, but it’s reality.  For too long we as Christians have ignored stuff like this.  We can either bury our heads in the sand and act like it never happened, acknowledge that it happens and learn from our mistakes, perhaps preventing them in others.  So, I’m asking, because it’s reality.

Having naked pictures taken of you

Have you ever had naked pictures of you taken by someone else?

  • 68% of respondents said no.
  • 3% said yes, but not by their spouse
  • 27% said yes, but only by their spouse
  • 2% said yes, by their spouse and previous partners

If you had, was it your idea, or your partner/spouses idea to take the pictures?

  • 41% said it was mutual, but they brought it up
  • 20% said it was mutual, but their spouse brought it up
  • 20% said it was their idea
  • 19% said it was their spouses idea

This leaves us with a pretty even split about whose idea it was, the respondent or their spouse.  I’m curious to see if that holds up when we cross reference against gender, but we’ll get there.

Did you enjoy the experience?

  • 12% said no
  • 88% said yes

Did you look at the pictures afterwards?

  • 5% said no
  • 25% said yes, once
  • 70% said yes, more than once

Did you keep the picture(s), or delete/destroy them?

  • 41% deleted/destroyed them
  • 59% kept them

Would you do it again?

  • 19% said no
  • 81% said yes

For those who haven’t, we asked:

Why haven’t you had naked pictures taken of yourself?

  • 9% said they were afraid of how they’d look/not comfortable with the idea
  • 17% said they were afraid someone else would see them
  • 3% believe it’s wrong/sinful
  • 70% said it never came up

Would you be willing to have naked pictures taken of you by your spouse in the future?

  • 28% said no
  • 72% said yes

Taking naked pictures of your spouse

Have you ever taken naked pictures of someone?

  • 56% said no
  • 4% said yes, but not of their spouse
  • 36% said yes, of their spouse
  • 3% said yes, of their spouse and previous partners

Of course, the next few questions only apply if you have taken pictures.

Was it your idea or your partner/spouse’s idea to take the picture(s)?

  • 36% said Mutual, but I brought the idea up
  • 6% said mutual, but my spouse brought the idea up
  • 53% said it was their idea
  • 5% said it was their spouses idea

Alright, I find this pretty funny.  I mean, the previous one had it split pretty evenly between whose idea it was.  This one, apparently it’s almost always the “other partner”‘s idea to take the pictures.  Something doesn’t match here.  I mean, these should be split pretty evenly as well.

I think perhaps our brains are playing tricks on us.  When we’re asked about taking pictures of others, we’re fine saying “it was my idea”.  It might even be a turn on to say “My partner let me take pictures of them”, causing us to lean towards the side of “It was my idea”.  But, when pictures are taking of us…that’s far more vulnerable.  So, we might be more inclined for our brain to sort of “rewrite history” and say “Oh, no, it was mutual”, or perhaps even that it was our idea.  That way we aren’t left quite as vulnerable. I mean, the pictures were still taken, but it’s okay, it was my idea, I was in control.

Was your partner/spouse aware you took the pictures?

  • 7% said no
  • 93% said yes

Yeah, I knew it would happen.  Actually, a few people commented and said they had explicit permission from their spouse to take pictures “some time”, so long as they never found out about it.  They didn’t want to know the picture was taken or ever see it, but were okay that their spouse wanted to.  We’re funny creatures, aren’t we?

Did you enjoy the experience?

  • 4% said no
  • 96% said yes

Seems are group leans more towards voyeurism than exhibitionism.  We’d rather be taking pictures than having them taken of us, but only marginally.

Did you look at the picture(s) afterwards?

  • 1% said no
  • 85% said yes, more than once
  • 14% said only once

Yeah, of course we did.  I mean, it was our idea (at least for most of us).

Did you keep the picture(s) or delete/destroy them?

  • 38% said they deleted/destroyed them
  • 62% said they kept them

Seems we’re slightly more likely to keep pictures of someone else than ourselves…no kidding.

Would you do it again?

  • 8% said no
  • 92% said yes

Yeah, no risk to you, right?

For those who said they’ve never taken pictures of their spouse we asked the following:

Why haven’t you taken naked pictures of your spouse?

  • 8% said they were afraid of how they’d look or they’re not comfortable with the idea
  • 23% said they were afraid of someone else would see them
  • 5% said it was wrong/sinful
  • 64% said it never came up

Would you be willing to take naked pictures of your spouse in the future?

  • 31% said no
  • 69% said yes

Taking nude pictures of yourself

In the age of sexting, we can’t ignore this one.

Have you ever taken nude photos of yourself to send to your partner?

  • 65% said no
  • 4% said yes, but not with their spouse
  • 28% said yes, but only with their spouse
  • 2% said yes, with their spouse as well as previous partners

Again, the following questions are for those who did take pictures

Was it your idea, or your partner/spouse’s idea for you to take the picture(s) of yourself?

  • 25% said mutual, but I brought the idea up
  • 9% said mutual, but their spouse brought the idea up
  • 54% said it was their idea
  • 11% said it was their spouses idea

Again, leaning heavily towards the “oh, it was my idea”.  I really wonder if this is a trick of the mind or not.  But, that’s the problem with surveys: you can’t survey reality, only people’s perspectives.

Did you enjoy the experience?

  • 8% said no
  • 92% said yes

That makes sense.  I mean if “it was your idea”, then it’s far more likely that you’d enjoy it….bunch of exhibitionists 🙂  Actually, I got a ton of comments saying it was exciting and naughty.  Huge dopamine rush, no wonder you liked it.

Did you end up sending or sharing them?

  • 12% said no
  • 88% said yes

Did you keep the pictures or delete/destroy them?

  • 68% deleted/destroyed them
  • 32% kept them

Seems when we take pictures of ourselves, we’re more likely to delete them than if someone else takes them.  I wonder why that is.  Perhaps it’s simply a matter of ownership.  If you took the picture, then it’s more likely on “your” device (phone, camera, whatever), whereas if your spouse took them, it’s on theirs.  Although, if you send them, it’s on both…so then I wonder how many are actually deleted…

Would you do it again?

  • 12% said no
  • 88% said yes

I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect this to be that high.

For those that said they’ve never done this, we asked these questions:

Why haven’t you taken naked pictures of yourself for you spouse?

  • 9% said they were afraid of how they’d look/not comfortable with the idea
  • 19% said they were afraid of how their spouse would react
  • 19% said they were afraid someone else would see them
  • 4% believe it’s wrong/sinful
  • 49% said it never came up

Wow, almost 50% have never even discussed it.  I didn’t realize this was such an “out there” thing.  And 19% are afraid of how their spouse would react.  That’s unfortunate.

Would you be willing to take pictures of yourself in the future?

  • 36% said no
  • 64% said yes

…64% would be willing to take a picture of themselves and send it to their spouse who haven’t yet.  Any one of them willing to take up that challenge?

Pictures taken during sex

Have you ever had pictures taken during sex?

  • 73% said no
  • <1% said yes, but not with their spouse
  • 24% said yes, but only with their spouse
  • 2% said yes, with their spouse and with previous partners

Wow, about 1/4.

For those who said yes:

Was it your idea, or your partner/spouses idea to take the picture(s)?

  • 40% said it was mutual, but they brought the idea up
  • 16% said it was mutual, but their spouse brought the idea up
  • 31% said it was their idea
  • 14% said it was their spouse’s idea

Did you enjoy the experience?

  • 8% said no
  • 92% said yes

Did you look at the picture(s) afterwards?

  • 2% said no
  • 75% said yes, more than once
  • 24% said yes, once

Did you keep the picture(s), or delete/destroy them?

  • 43% deleted or destroyed them
  • 57% kept them

Would you do it again?

  • 14% said no
  • 86% said yes

For those who have never taken pictures during sex:

Why haven’t you had pictures taken of yourself during sex?

  • 14% said they were afraid of how they’d look/not comfortable with the idea
  • 17% said they were afraid someone else would see them
  • 8% believe it’s wrong/sinful
  • 60% said it never came up

Apparently sex pictures are sinful to more people than naked pictures.  I guess that’s not surprising.

Would you like/be willing to have pictures taken, during sex, of you by your spouse in the future?

  • 40% said no
  • 60% said yes

See…bunch of exhibitionists.  Not that that’s a bad thing when it’s your spouse.  Sounds like you guys need to have some conversations.  I mean, that’s 43% of spouses that haven’t, but would be willing.

Have you ever made a video of you having sex?

  • 72% said no
  • 2% said yes, but not with their spouse
  • 24% said yes, but only with the spouse
  • 2% said yes, with their spouse and previous partners

Was it your idea, or your partner/spouse’s idea to take the video?

  • 37% said it was mutual, but they brought the idea up
  • 13% said it was mutual, but their spouse brought the idea up
  • 40% said it was their idea
  • 10% said it was their spouse’ idea

Did you look at the video(s) afterwards?

  • 5% said no
  • 64% said yes, more than once
  • 31% said yes, once

Was your spouse aware of the video being taken?

  • 10% said no
  • 3% said not at the time, but they were told later
  • 87% said yes

10% have taken video of their spouse and they didn’t know about it…I guess that means we have to mentally adjust our numbers up a bit.  I mean, they can’t tell us they’ve been on video if they don’t know it.

Did you keep the video(s) or delete/destroy them?

  • 55% said they deleted/destroyed them
  • 45% said they kept them

Did you enjoy the experience?

  • 11% said no
  • 86% said yes

Would you do it again?

  • 15% said no
  • 85% said yes

For those who said they’ve never taken video during sex, we asked:

Why haven’t you had video taken during sex?

  • 13% said they were afraid of how they’d look/not comfortable with the idea
  • 17% said they were afraid someone else would see them
  • 8% believe it’s wrong/sinful
  • 62% said it never came up

Would you like/be willing to have video taken during sex with your spouse?

  • 41% said no
  • 59% said yes

So, that’s the simple data.  So, let’s see what interesting things come out when you start putting some of these questions together.

Some interesting stats

I thought it would be interesting to break some of these up by gender.

50% of wives have had their picture taken by their spouse, but only 29% of husbands.  Not too surprising that the wives outweigh the husbands, after all, men tend to be more visual, though I was surprised at how many wives had actually done this.  And if you think they were coerced or pressured, well, perhaps some of them, but only 33% said it was their spouses’ idea, and of those, 55% said they still enjoyed the experience.  In fact, 82% of wives who have had nude photos of themselves taken said they enjoyed it and 72% said they would do it again.

I also thought it was a little interesting to note that respondents who have had naked pictures pictures taken of them only by their spouse tend to have sex 29% more often.  But, if they’ve had pictures taken by a previous partner, and not their current spouse, they tend to have sex 21% less often than those who have never had their picture taken.  Those who have with their spouse and previous partners show only a marginal gain.

Oh, and I’m sure someone is going to say “well, it’s the porn influence that causes this”.  Not so much.  The stats for someone currently addicted to porn and someone who has no exposure to porn at all are almost identical. Within a couple percentage points.  About 65% have taken pictures or video, leaving 35% who have not.  The lowest rate are from those trying to quite porn use, only 59% of them have done this.

But, through this all, I have seen a simple trend that constantly follows:

  • Respondents who review the pictures more than once tend to have more sex than those who don’t or never do.  About twice as much actually.
  • Respondents who took pictures of themselves and sent them tend to have sex nearly twice as much as those who didn’t send them.
  • Respondents who said it was the idea to take pictures was mutual have more sex than those who said it was one spouse or the other’s.

And these stats just keep popping up.  So, what’s the pattern?  I think it’s that a marriage with spouses that are more comfortable with their bodies, and who mutually decide to expand their horizons seem to have more sex.  Not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s a good reminder.  I’m sure all these couples that take pictures and videos don’t have Olympian bodies.  They’ve had kids, and have desk jobs, and their New Year’s resolutions are always to drink less soda, eat fewer chocolates.  Yes, there may be a few marathoners in the respondents, but by and large, there are normal, average people who feel at least comfortable enough with their spouse to be free enough to be seen naked.  And that’s amazing.

So, I’m not saying, to grab your phone and start taking pictures.  What I’m saying is have real conversations about sex, be comfortable with each other, get naked and feel unashamed.  It’s good for your marriage.

Oh, and if you’re a wife who is having sex less twice a week or less…you have a 3.2% chance of your spouse taking video of you, during sex, without your knowledge…another 1.6% of you will have your video taken, but your husband will confess it later on.  If you also know your spouse is unhappy with the quality of sex in the marriage, that jumps to 3.5% and 2.4% respectively.  Just saying, that’s more than 1 in 20.  I don’t want to make you paranoid, just maybe up your game.  Then again, for some, the idea of surreptitiously having video taken might be enough to get you in the mood more often.  Like I said, we seem to have an fair bit of exhibitionists in our readership.

In Summary

So, do Christians make sex tapes?  28% of them do.  More than a quarter, less than a third.  That’s quite a bit.  More interestingly though is that 83% of Christian couples are willing to make a private sex tape.

So, I hope that answers the question.  If there are any questions you want answered, or correlations you want checked, let me know.

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16 thoughts on “Do Christians make sex tapes?”

  1. Dan says:

    It’s such a shame that shame exerts so much pressure on how we do and enjoy sex. You are correct in that it is no surprise that people who are more sexually open are having more sex. I would propose that they are also having better sex too in whatever way they would define ‘better.”

    “In fact, 82% of wives who have had nude photos of themselves taken said they enjoyed it and 72% said they would do it again.” It would seem there the possibility that many of those wives would enjoy having boudoir photos made to give their husband. I have no doubt those husbands would enjoy receiving them. The process of being styled with professional hair, makeup, wardrobe and posing can be very exciting and the end product very affirming to a woman’s self-image. It is very much like the stunning transitions that take place at prom time or a wedding with all women. A working woman can’t daily strive to that level of seductive excellence, but it is good for her to know the potential is always there and that sublime creature exists within her for her pleasure and that of her husband’s.

  2. Rebecca says:

    I have just recently began taking provocative pictures of myself and sending them to my husband. I am not sure that this is the only reason we are having more sex, (as I have been doing many things to improve our sexual relationship lately). But, I am positive that it has helped. I do however review them as to be sure I feel comfortable with the way look in the photo’s. I am still just a bit timid and have not sent totally nude pics “yet”. I have been Working on my self image and as I get more and more confident i am pretty sure the pictures will show that. In turn, I am sure sex will increase in quality as well as quantity.

    1. HopefullyHelpful says:

      I would always be hesitant to “send” stuff. Give, maybe. You just *never* know who might be there watching. . .If you ever saw that Motorola add, well. Be discreet.

      BTW: Did you start by yourself, or was there some mutual agreement before?

  3. Arbrown says:

    JayDee-
    I am one of those wives who take photos. As a split shift couple ( hubby works nights and I home school our 3 teens during the day) the photos I take lets my husband know that I am thinking of our next scheduled time together. It also feeds our individual kinks ( exhibitionism and voyeurism ). With his medical challenges (ED and other things), crazy work schedule ( he routinely works 60+ hours a week) plus 3 teens in the house means that we scheduled sex and our photos are a part of foreplay. Ladies and gentlemen- it only takes a few seconds- those photos are a fun way to let fires spark and burn hot.

    1. Dan says:

      Arbrown-A lot of people think scheduling sex removes the romance and spontaneity from it. I feel just the opposite. There is really little that is spontaneous about having sex 99% of the time. Most of us have sex on a very regular schedule whether we realize it or not. Scheduling allows us to indulge in mental foreplay as the time draws near and spontaneity can then be where or how we have sex. The photos can be sent spontaneously as well. If he likes you sexting him, don’t forget to sneak in an occasional spontaneous flash into the mix at home or in the car.
      Dan recently posted..Quickie: When size doesn’t matter — Smooth as a Baby’s Butt

      1. Stephen Milam says:

        Arbrown and Dan, you both are on the right track!!
        My wife has posed for me in the past and both really enjoied it and went back at times and looked at them together and alone.
        I would LOVE receiving pix and “flashes” but she won’t theses days….
        FYI, make his day by flashing him or have pix made for him!!

  4. DC says:

    Love that you’re asking these questions and opening up honest discussions, Jay Dee! It’s awesome.

  5. LatterDay Marriage says:

    I love taking sexy pictures of my wife even though I’m not a great photographer. I don’t do it very often but it is wonderful fun. I always used either Polaroid or digital so nobody else would get access to them. My wife went and did a very sexy professional photo shoot (mother daughter team of photographers) and had about 40 pictures bound into a book as a Valentine’s present. It was amazing and she had a lot of fun doing it, but best of all she got to see that she really is a very beautiful woman. She actually started to believe my compliments.
    LatterDay Marriage recently posted..Fight For Your Marriage Part 1: Preparation

  6. David Justin Bibby says:

    While I’ll never asked my wife to pose for me… I believe she would. Perhaps if I left town for an extended time… but then I prefer to hear her voice on the phone. I didn’t take the survey but if I did I’d probably check the box for “never brought it up”.

  7. Jayden says:

    As a computer security professional, I would never do it because even if it isn’t biblically objectionable under certain circumstances, I know this sort of stuff always gets out.

    When I worked as a computer technician I was always astonished and depressed at the sheer number of people who would have stuff like this on their hard drive. The most upright married church couples…Catholic priests…young single men and women.

    We do estate sales and I have found stashes of Polaroids, 8 mm movie reels, etc, etc.

    My wife agreed when we planned our marriage that certain things were forever off limits. This was one.

  8. Pingback: Sex In Marriage: What Are The Best Sex Positions For Men and/or Women? | Marriage and Money
  9. Trackback: Sex In Marriage: What Are The Best Sex Positions For Men and/or Women? | Marriage and Money
  10. Still In Love says:

    I would love to send sexting to hubby had this fun tantalizing part of our life has been ruined. I feel too degraded and compared to the thousands of porn women he masturbated to.

  11. When I lose 30# we'll make a tape says:

    I wonder if you’d consider changing your thoughts on people who are videotaped digging sec without their knowledge. I feel like that is a issue of trust that could be problematic in controlling relationships and rather than one suppose “upping their have” perhaps the other spouse should learn to respect boundaries and communicate desires better.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      What do you mean by “changing your thoughts”. All I was doing was reporting the data. I didn’t offer any recommendations.

  12. Nick Cihlar says:

    What’s the most common rather specific reason Christian couples make sex videos? Thanks.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      The biggest reason given was that it was fun and exciting.

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