Discussion about initiating sex

Jay Dee

Discussion about initiating sex

Jun 21, 2016

We’re going to try something a bit different today, we’re going to try a discussion question.  Basically, I’m not going to write a post, I’m just going to ask a couple of questions and open the floor to comments below. Because sometimes I get questions

Discussion QuestionWe’re going to try something a bit different today, we’re going to try a discussion question.  Basically, I’m not going to write a post, I’m just going to ask a couple of questions and open the floor to comments below. Because sometimes I get questions that I’m curious about how other people respond, or, in this case, I’ve had some readers ask, but it doesn’t really work to create a survey about it.  In this case, the questions are too long-form.  There’s no way to gather metrics on them that would make sense in any way.  Plus, I don’t want to detract from the survey that’s already running.  So, here are the questions I have on my mind this morning:

  1. What’s your gender.
  2. How do you typically initiate sex?
  3. How do you prefer your spouse to initiate sex (realistically, not the fantasy spouse you have in your head)?

Now, I know we’re going to get into some trouble here, because some will say initiating sex is what you do in the morning, when you declare your desire and sort of “plant the seed” for later.  Others will say initiating sex is what you do right before you expect to have sex (assuming your initiation is … successful).  I’m not going to define it at this point.  You answer whichever way you want, though it might be helpful to state which view you’re holding to for your answer, if it’s not clear by your response.

Plus, when answer how you prefer your spouse to initiate sex, let’s be realistic.  I mean, I’d love it if my wife would initiate sex as if she was so aroused that she couldn’t stand another minute of being near me without ripping my clothes off as soon as I walk in the door…but that’s not going to happen, and the person who would do that is not my wife.  It’s some fantasy in my head.  So, let’s answer within the bounds of reality.  Now, that’s not to say that people can’t change.  My wife’s initiation has changed completely over the course of our marriage: from … not initiating at all, to being fairly bold some days.  But, I’m still not expecting blow jobs at the door when I come home from work, and doubt I ever will.  It’s just not realistic.

So, here’s an example answer (which just happens to be mine):

I’m a male, and lately, I typically initiate sex by saying “I miss you” when we’re already in bed and naked, because I’m scared of initiating too, especially since the birth of our 5th child, and it’s a safe way to gauge the waters, as it were.  I’m working on being more assertive again.  I prefer it when my spouse, when initiating, simply reaches over and starts touching me sexually without asking, without checking, just assuming I want sex (which is always the case).

So, I leave the floor open to you:

  1. What’s your gender.
  2. How do you typically initiate sex?
  3. How do you prefer your spouse to initiate sex?

Answer in the comments below.  You can be as anonymous as you like (though if you pick a name, even if it’s a fake one, it’s easier to recognize conversations.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

16 Comments
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
16
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x