Period Sex Survey

Jay Dee

Period Sex Survey

May 20, 2016

A while ago, I received a question about sex during menstruation from our anonymous Have A Question page: How many couples have sex while the wife is on her period? My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. The idea of having

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SurveyA while ago, I received a question about sex during menstruation from our anonymous Have A Question page:

How many couples have sex while the wife is on her period? My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. The idea of having sex with me while I’m menstruating has always kind of grossed him out. I am the higher drive partner, and this time of the month is usually when I want sex the most. I’m curious, is it “normal” for husbands to have a hands off policy during this week?

Well, I have no idea how many couples have “period sex”.  So, you know what happens next.  I make a survey and start asking.  So, thank you in advance for your data as we try to answer this wife’s question.  I’ll write the analysis after we hit 600 respondents, so if you want to see the results, you might want to share the survey with your close friends.  You know, the ones you talk about sex with.  And if you don’t have any, here’s your chance to start the conversation.

Fill out the survey here

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18 thoughts on “Period Sex Survey”

  1. savannah says:

    Is it in the Bible that we should not have sex during the menstrual cycle?

    1. Jeremy says:

      That was an Old Testament law that was more about hygiene and cleanliness according to my Old Testament professor, but as believers we are no longer under those laws…

    2. Jay Dee says:

      I’m going to dig into that in an upcoming post. Short answer: yes, it’s in the Bible. No, we don’t have to follow the set of ritualistic cleanliness laws since they were tied to the sanctuary system, which pointed to Jesus and He came to fulfilled those specific laws. Though there are plenty of laws we should still be keeping from the Old Testament as Christians.

      1. Tsahraf says:

        Actually the law refers to a practice of Canaan, which God commanded the Israelites not to do because it defiles the land, and the Canaanites were to be destroyed because they did these things. “Period sex” is listed alongside of incest, bestiality, and sodomy, and they are all named “abominable customs”. It says specifically that the Canaanites did these things, and for that reason “the land spues them out” (vomits them out).

        1. Jay Dee says:

          Do you know where that verse is? I’d love to see it.

          1. Patrick Lauser says:

            Sorry, I did not receive any notification of a reply, so I thought there was none, but I finally came to see.

            I do not want to discourage you in your work, I want that to be clearly stated. Many people come to you and are freed from unchristian limitations of God’s holy creation of sexuality, and it is important that in doing so they are not led into a perversion of sexuality. This would be a vast hindrance to your work, as it gives people cause to think that to leave their inappropriate limitations is to become tolerant of perversion.

            This is the verse and passage I refer to:
            Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness…
            Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you:
            And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.
            Ye shall therefore keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations; neither any of your own nation, nor any stranger that sojourneth among you:
            (For all these abominations have the men of the land done, which were before you, and the land is defiled;)
            That the land spue not you out also, when ye defile it, as it spued out the nations that were before you.
            For whosoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls that commit them shall be cut off from among their people.
            Therefore shall ye keep mine ordinance, that ye commit not any one of these abominable customs, which were committed before you, and that ye defile not yourselves therein: I am the Lord your God.
            Leviticus 18:19, 24-30

            The Canaanites did not have ritual impurity, so obviously it is speaking of a Canaanite practice in Jewish terms, when it speaks of a woman set apart for her uncleanness.

            I have read your post on the issue, and I do not see why you say it is not judicial, or why you think the command was for ritual cleanness, when the Bible does not say it was. Separation during the period was for plainly stated ritual reasons, but sex during the period is simply condemned.

            And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.
            Leviticus 20:18

            I would also point out that every time it is referred to it is in the context of sexual perversion and paganism. In Leviticus twenty it again denounces these perversions as being the abominations of the heathen:

            Ye shall therefore keep all my statutes, and all my judgments, and do them: that the land, whither I bring you to dwell therein, spue you not out.
            And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.
            Leviticus 20:22-23

            I believe what you are doing is very important, and it is something close to my heart also. Articles of yours that I have read have been very interesting and refreshing. I do not want your work hindered in any way, and I hope I have been a help.

            God bless the truth of sexuality!

            1. Jay Dee says:

              It took me a while to figure out how to respond. I mean, what you quoted seemed straight forward, but it just … smelled wrong. You know what I mean? When you hear something about theology, and part of your mind just rebels against it, even if it seems straightforward. For me that usually means the Holy Spirit is telling me to pay more attention, something isn’t right. That’s not enough to make a decision on, but it’s enough to tell me to investigate further.

              And this is what I found while searching:

              And if any man lies with her and her menstrual impurity comes upon him, he shall be unclean seven days, and every bed on which he lies shall be unclean. – Leviticus 15:24

              And that sort of destroys your entire argument. That makes this clearly a ceremonial uncleanliness issue. It may be hidden between a bunch of other stuff, but this verse (and others using this context) make it clear that this is all about ceremonial uncleanliness and purity. This is part of the sacrificial system which was fulfilled by Christ.

              So, then how do we look at that verse you brought up?

              And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. – Leviticus 20:18

              Yes, they are to be cut off from the people. However, that term “cut off” is very vague. It’s used many times in the old testament. Everything from a temporary separation to execution. So, it’s quite possible it can just mean they have to separate themselves. And that makes sense because women were to separate themselves during their period. After all, they couldn’t touch anyone without making that person unclean. Nor could anyone touch anything she had touched without becoming unclean.

              So, basically, this is saying that if a husband has sex with his wife during her period, well, now he has to join her during her unclean period (7 days).

              1. Patrick Lauser says:

                Sorry: I was waiting for a notification again, but actually there does not seem to be a way to receive notifications for comments.

                Of course, I had already read Leviticus 15:24, both previously, and in looking at this subject, and in reading your article. I concur with the point you made in your article, that the difference between this, and the commands against it, is that this refers to when it happens unintentionally; in which case the husband simply shares the wife’s separation.

                The term “cut off” however is put as a punishment directed against the deliberate act, which is grouped with incest and bestiality. “Cut off” is a legitimate, English term, as in “cut off from society”, “cut off from food and water”. In the context of war, cutting off would mean death, indirectly, as being scattered or conquered would mean death. But this is merely an aside. In the context of punishment, cutting off is obviously shunning, disfellowship, “excommunication”.

                Apart from the punishment, the fact remains that the deliberate act was forbidden as an abominable custom of Canaan, which is repeated again and again in various ways.

                And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.
                Leviticus 20:23

                God was of course not casting the gentiles out of their land for violating a custom of cleanliness, which he gave to the Israelites to distinguish them from gentiles. The Canaanites were spewed out of their land for committing this act; we, with the knowledge of God’s pure Word, have a greater responsibility than they, and greater consequences for violating the Temple of the Holy Spirit.

                A subject of this kind should always be duly investigated, whether or not something feels wrong. It is perfectly natural not to feel good about the subject, since you would have to make a full, public retraction of what you said earlier in defense of this, and who is ever comfortable doing something like that?

                One must also realize that neither is it an evidence of God’s condoning to feel no conviction, but a result of our own assurance, whether it is right or not. When in sin, this assurance is an order of magnitude in the sin.

                Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the Lord.
                Jeremiah 6:15

                You in particular have a higher responsibility, in that people look to you to help them discern what is acceptable to God and a gift from him, in accordance with his Word.
                May they follow you as far as you honor Christ.

                1. Jay Dee says:

                  Check out spam filters or other folders since you’re using Gmail. It’s probably dropping them into there.

                  It doesn’t bother me to post a retraction if I feel it’s appropriate. I’ve done it before. I’m not talking about the discomfort of pride. This is not the same feeling.

                  I still hold that this has to do with ritualistic purity in the sanctuary system which was fulfilled by Christ. That’s why you can order a steak that’s cooked less that “well done” and still has fat on it (Leviticus 3:17).

                  1. Patrick Lauser says:

                    I did not find any notifications in spam. I have “I want to get new posts in my email!” checked, but is that referring to comments? I do not see anything else that might have to do with comments.

                    The restriction on eating fat was because of the fat’s connection with their sacrifices, not because it was an abomination for which God wiped out nations.

                    And the priest shall burn them upon the altar: it is the food of the offering made by fire for a sweet savour: all the fat is the Lord’s.
                    Leviticus 3:16

                    That the land spue not you out also, when ye defile it, as it spued out the nations that were before you.
                    Leviticus 18:28

                    If only not to end a comment so shortly, I would point out something about Christ fulfilling the sanctuary law. Firstly, it is not because of this that you can eat fat: as a gentile believer you always could. The sanctuary law also did not decay and vanish away because it was fulfilled, but because it was a Covenant broken by the Jews. They killed the very one who made the Covenant with them. Those husbandmen were destroyed, and the vineyard given to others.

                    This is why there were sacrifices after Christ’s death until the fall of the Temple (the “Vengeance”), and also why there will be sacrifices and a new Temple again in a future period of the New Testament (Zechariah 14, Ezekiel 40-48). The sacrifices picture Christ, but so does communion; the sanctuary law was not necessarily looking “forward” to Christ, but simply looking to Christ.

                    1. Jay Dee says:

                      No God’s covenant was not conditional. The Jews couldn’t break it, only God could, and that would make Him an oath breaker and a liar. I’m afraid you are misunderstanding the heavenly sanctuary that the earthly one was modeled after.

                    2. Patrick Lauser says:

                      And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.
                      Genesis 17:14

                      Wherefore it shall come to pass, if ye hearken to these judgments, and keep, and do them, that the Lord thy God shall keep unto thee the covenant and the mercy which he sware unto thy fathers:
                      Deuteronomy 7:12

                      And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
                      …and my soul shall abhor you.
                      If they shall confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers, with their trespass which they trespassed against me, and that also they have walked contrary unto me; and that I also have walked contrary unto them, and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled, and they then accept of the punishment of their iniquity: then will I remember my covenant with Jacob, and also my covenant with Isaac, and also my covenant with Abraham will I remember; and I will remember the land.
                      Leviticus 26:15-16, 30, 40-42

                      Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord:
                      Jeremiah 31:31-32

                      In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.
                      Hebrews 8:13

                      I think you are trying to defend the idea of unconditional love. According to God, while his love is not conditional on a past state, it is conditional on our present state.

                      When I shall say to the righteous, that he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it.
                      Again, when I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; if he turn from his sin, and do that which is lawful and right; if the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die.
                      None of his sins that he hath committed shall be mentioned unto him: he hath done that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live.
                      Ezekiel 33:13-16

                      Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
                      For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
                      Matthew 5:19-20

  2. Frank says:

    There is not sex at all during my wife’s period. No action at all, it;s like i’m not even there. It’s a long week.

  3. WilsonsKM says:

    My wife is so horny during her period, so I learned early that it can be very fun. We normally just end up doing it in the shower. Sometimes, she just begs me to give her oral sex, which is wonderful just focusing on the clit.

  4. LatterDay Marriage says:

    When my wife went into perimenopause she started having ellipses rather than periods.

  5. stargazer711 says:

    At our ages this is no longer an issue, but we never let her period stand in the way when we were “in the mood”. Never tried oral on her during her period, the idea just never occurred to us to try it. Normally we are VERY oral. Period sex was never a special turn on to either of us, but when much younger we just did not want to wait for her period to end just to avoid a little mess.

  6. Vladimir Pustin says:

    I always have sex with my girlfriends while they are on period. No protection and we both enjoy me ejaculating deep inside the vagina.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      You can actually still get pregnant while on your period, because sperm can survive up to 5 days. So, if you have sex at the end of their period, pregnancy is possible.

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