Category Archives: Communication

Are you missing out in your spouse’s bids?

I don’t hear the word “bid” much anymore.  I feel like I hear it a lot more when growing up.  It seems to have fallen into disuse.  Today I’m going to use it, because I don’t know a better word to use. A bid is

Silence means everything is okay

I can’t tell you how many couples don’t talk when things are bad.  They just keep silent expecting … I don’t know what.  I guess they expect that their spouse will get the hint and change.  The problem is that sometimes the issue isn’t the

Was it good for you?

A lot of couples fail to talk about their sex life with each other.  Many are afraid to discuss what they’re doing.  If you think about it, it’s kind of funny.  I mean, they’re willing to be naked and physically intimate, be opening up and

Is that how you want your spouse to see you?

I think a lot of spouses have a bad habit of talking bad about themselves.  Women in particular are generally very well know for criticizing their appearance.  Most men don’t do this as much.  Men, if they verbalize this, tend to downplay their accomplishments and

What do you need from me

I’m a solution provider.  It’s just how I’m built.  The majority of my job is finding solutions to business problems.  Usually it’s a technological solution, but not always.  Some days I do more management consulting than IT consulting.  But, it’s not just my job.  I’m like that

Active Listening

In this week’s challenge, I mentioned active listening as a skill that people should be using, but hadn’t had a post up yet about it.  So, today I’m going to rectify that. Active listening, which I’ve also heard called Listening 2.0 or Level 2 Listening,

The 5 Levels of Communication

In yesterday’s post, I mentioned the 5 levels of communication, and suddenly realized I had not yet written a post about them.  So, that’s what I’m going to do today. The 5 levels of communication are not something I can take credit for.  In fact,

Learning to Talk R.I.T.E.

Last night I was at a church leadership meeting, and we were given an except from a book called Becoming a Mission-Driven Church, and it had an acronym it in: R.I.T.E. that nicely encapsulated a lot of the communication ideas I’ve written about on this

Covert contracts – expectations in marriage

In marriage many arguments and hurt feelings are based on expectations.  These expectations can come from a variety of sources and can present in a variety of forms.  Expectations aren’t necessarily bad, but unspoken expectations are dangerous, particularly when you believe there is an agreement

How to resolve conflict more effectively

A few posts ago, I wrote about How to Stop Fighting, and after thinking about, I decided I wanted to expand on that.  I realized that the answer is simple: the talk more.  But, that in itself isn’t a full answer, because some people don’t

How to stop fighting

At church today, I was talking to a teen, and during the conversation he asked how often my wife and I fight.  I answered that we don’t fight, and he was floored.  His parents fight constantly.  Then it occurred to me, mine fight fairly regularly