Back in February, I got a message from Sarah and Jeff Harris (actually the email was from Jeff) telling me they loved my blog (yay!), and that they had written a book “Do It Better – Twelve Sexual Routines and Principles You Wish You Knew“, and was wondering if I would take a look at it. This book had, in fact, hit the #1 spot on the Amazon best seller list in the category of Human Sexuality around Valentines Day.
So, I graciously accepted the free book (I love free books, I hope publishers out there are paying attention), and … then it sat on my desk for a few months. I finally got around to reading it, and didn’t want to put it down. I finished the book in a couple of days.
Now, I’ve read a lot of Christian marriage books, and this one…well, it starts like many of the others. And then Part Two goes in a completely different direction. Let me share the chapters with you, and then I’ll explain.
Table of Contents
- Part One: The Principles
- The Principles: An Introduction
- Principle One: Your Spouse Is Your Sex Partner
- Principle Two: Making Sex Easier
- Principle Three: Telepathy Solves a Lot of Problems
- Principle Four: Continually F’ing Your Spouse
- Principle Five: The Magic Touch
- Principle Six: You Were Designed For This
- Part Two: The Routines
- The Routines: An Introduction
- Routine One: The Blue Thing
- Routine Two: Four-Alarm Fire
- Routine Three: Massage Table Tryst
- Routine Four: Profound Penis Pleasure
- Routine Five: The Slow Jazz Groove
- Routine Six: Movie Night Madness
- A Few Words about Breasts
- Part One: The Principles
- Questions and Answers
- About the Authors
So, the first part, on principles, is largely the same as I’ve seen in other places, in terms of voice and a lot of the material. However, some of their stances are different than the standard fare you see around. Actually, a lot of them match my own views. For example, they’re against solo masturbation (just as I am). They’re for frequent (if not daily) sex. Oh, and Principle Four: Continually F’ing Your Spouse is about forgiveness.
It’s all written as a sort of a visit in their home, with the husband and wife taking turns talking, in fact, talking together, sort of as a conversation – very casually, about sex, in a very open and honest way.
And then Part 2 comes along, and suddenly it changes from marriage-ed to sex-ed. The routines are clear, explicit directions on how to do sexual activities. They’re done tastefully. It’s not erotic, but it is very informative, but its about sex. Where to put your hands, your fingers, your tongue, etc.. I would hazard a guess that many Christians would be offended. But, if you’re reading this blog, I don’t think you’re in that group.
I should put a disclaimer out there that the authors are not shy about enjoying anal play, and incorporate it into their routines. Of course, you can leave that part out and adapt accordingly, but I thought I should let you know, since there are such widely held opinions on whether that’s okay or not in Christian marriages.
The routines are described well, easy to follow and easily to replicate…provided you have some of the equipment they suggest. For example, in Massage Table Tryst, they suggest having a massage table. Of course, you can do it on the bed, or the floor, but it’s not quite the same.
Now, I feel I should point out that this couple is a bit of a unicorn. They have kids, they have a 20+ year marriage. The are evenly matched, both having higher sex drives. They are very free with their bodies with each other. They’re very adventurous. The wife is highly orgasmic and multi-orgasmic, and she’s a squirter. And they have daily, or near-daily sex. There is a risk of being unable to relate to their marriage, and so find it harder to digest the material.
Now, the authors say they weren’t always like this. I get the feeling that they believe following the 6 Principles in their book will lead to their experiences. I’m honestly not sure if this is the case. However, I do believe the Principles are solid, and even if they don’t turn you in to a multi-orgasmic, squirting, daily sex sort of couple, they can improve your marriage and your sex life by following them. And I’ll admit, even I learned some things in the Routines section, and that’s not something I can say very often (a hazard of being a sex blogger).
So, take a look at the book, if this sounds like something of interest. I think it’s definitely worth the read.