Is anal sex a sin?

Jay Dee

Is anal sex a sin?

Jun 25, 2014

Last week I posted the survey results of our anal sex and anal play survey, and some of the responses and comments indicated that there were moral objections to anal intercourse.  As well, some people explicitly asked for a post discussing the biblical stance on anal sex,

Is anal sex a sinLast week I posted the survey results of our anal sex and anal play survey, and some of the responses and comments indicated that there were moral objections to anal intercourse.  As well, some people explicitly asked for a post discussing the biblical stance on anal sex, if there is any.  Far be it from me to back down from that invitation, so here we go.

So, when discussing anal sex and the Bible, there is generally two routes people take when trying to condemn it as a sin from an explicitly Biblical stance.  The first is using Sodom and Gomorrah from Genesis 19, and the second is relating anal sex to homosexuality and thereby denouncing the entire thing as immoral.  Really they boil down to the same argument though: lumping anal sex in with some obvious sin, stating that it is sin by association, as it were.

Another method is stating that it is medically unsafe/unsound/risky, and thus one shouldn’t do it because to do so is to harm the body, and thus God’s temple.

And lastly, there’s the general “well, God didn’t design it for that” argument.  Often, but not always, these same people are against manual sex (using your hands) and oral sex (using your mouth) for the same reasons.

So, let’s tackle these.

Does the Bible talk about anal sex?

Whenever the Bible talks about anal sex, it does so in terms of men having sex with other men.  For example, in Genesis 19, the most notable moral infraction of the city come from verse 5.

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

-Genesis 19:5

I should point out that in the Bible the verb “to know” (yada in Hebrew) is a euphemism for “to have sex”.  So, the men of the city were calling out to Lot to give up his visitors so they might rape them.  So, the argument goes that God destroyed the city because of anal sex, and thus for all time, anal sex is to be known as Sodomy, because of the city of Sodom.  The problem is that nowhere in the Bible does it condemn anal sex itself.

We have a few hints at what Sodom and Gomorrah’s sins were:

Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good.
Ezekiel 16:49-50

This is very vague, unfortunately, all it says is that they “committed abomination”, but in all of the laws of Moses, only one thing uses this phrase “committed abomination”.

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
-Leviticus 20:13

It seems that the great sin was homosexuality.  Note that in Leviticus, though it lists many sexually immoral practices, it does not mention anal sex at all.  The only other mention that I’m aware of is in Jude 7:

Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
-Jude 7

But that doesn’t give any help to this topic.
Now, the Bible does speak against homosexual acts fairly often, both in the New and Old Testaments, but it’s always about sexuality with the same gender, not about the specific sexual acts.  I’m not going to get into homosexuality in this post though.  We’ll save that for another one.

Is anal sex unsafe?

So, I feel like I should state, for the record: I am not a doctor, a nurse, or any other medical professional.  My opinion is my own, and you have to make your own decisions and be as informed as you can about them.  Now, any time you see the medical community talking about anal sex, they are quick to denounce it for reasons of:

  • STI (we used to call them STDs) transmission (particularly HIV)
  • Tissue damage
  • Infection

Now, for myself, I’ve found that medical community, these days, seems to be a lot more interested in risk aversion than it is in actually is in giving sound medical advice.  So, I take everything they say with a … well not a grain … but a huge heaping tablespoon of salt.

So, let’s go through these from my non-medical background perspective:

STI/STDs – Just to be clear, this is about transmission of these infections (diseases).  If you don’t already have one, and your spouse doesn’t, this isn’t an issue (assuming you are having sex with your spouse, and if you aren’t, well, that I’d clearly categorize as sin).  You can’t spontaneously get an STI/STD from anal sex where none existed before between the two of you (to the best of my knowledge).

Tissue damage – Yes, if you have anal sex, and you are either unprepared/unsafe/don’t us lubricant/don’t take your time/are too rough/the penis is very large relative to the anus, then you can definitely get tissue damage.  If you feel tearing STOP!  Don’t be a hero.

Infection – I think most women know about this.  If you get fecal matter, or the associated bacteria, into the vagina, or the urethra, it can cause problems.  This is why women wipe “front to back” as it were.  It’s not anal sex that causes this, it’s improper cleaning, or being unaware/reckless when having anal sex.

Now, these warnings are good warning.  We should be aware of them.  We should be cautious and be mindful of avoiding these issues, but to write off anal sex/anal play because of them, in my opinion, would be akin to saying no one should drive a car because someone might get hurt.

Is anal sex unnatural?

This argument takes on a couple of forms as well.  The first is a simple “animals don’t have anal sex”.  Well, animals don’t do a lot of things humans do, so I always thought this is a bit of ridiculous argument.  But, just to satisfy it, actually, giraffes do.  Granted, it has more to do with males establishing their domination over other males…but it does happen.  It’s not a good defense to the argument, but it’s not a good argument either, so I’m not going to spend any more time on it.

As to it being unnatural to include the anus during sex, I have one question.  Does God make mistakes?  Now, I believe in an infallible God, and to me, an infallible God would not have blundered this badly if he did not want human beings to include this part of the body in their lovemaking, because, as it turns out, both genders have unique methods of experiencing pleasure when it comes to anal sex/anal play.

For men, the prostate can be stimulated, either by a toy, or a finger, inserted into the anus.  But for women, there are still the hypogastric nerve, the vagus nerve and the pudendal nerve which can all be stimulated during anal activities.  This is why some women find that flexing their glutes (their butt muscles) can help them achieve orgasm.  In fact, bundle of nerves that makes up the clitoris is quite the network.  I hope you all know what the clitoris is (if you don’t, it’s the little “nub” above a woman’s vaginal opening, which is usually very sensitive.  As far as we know, it serves no purpose other than to give sexual pleasure to women).  Some of you know that it has “legs” inside the body that extend down around the vaginal opening, and that stroking, or putting pressure, on them can cause pleasure for the wife.  But they also extend into the body, surrounding the vestibule (that’s not a euphemism, that’s an accepted term).  What this means is that, as it wraps around the posterior side, it can be stimulated from within the rectum.  In short, there’s a lot going on in that region when it comes to nerves and thus pleasure!  It also explains why, when done improperly, there can be a lot of pain involved as well.

In fact, there are some women who cannot orgasm from vaginal sex, but can from anal sex, and many more who claim anal sex is more pleasurable than vaginal sex.  Simple proximity to the vaginal opening is enough for some couples to try, according to our survey, either intentionally, or by accident.

Lastly, some will argue that anal sex only happens because of porn, but I feel we debunked that myth in our survey results.

Your Turn

What are your thoughts on this topic? We had quite a few people say they had moral objections to anal sex and anal play in our survey.  I’m curious to know if I missed an objection, or if I missed some key point somewhere.

Looking for help?

125 thoughts on “Is anal sex a sin?”

  1. Dan says:

    I wonder if any medical long-term studies have been done in the gay and lesbian communities where the practice of anal sex by penis or dildo is allegedly more prevalent. I am thinking in terms of both bladder and rectal incontinence, damage to tissue, or an increase in cancers of the anus or rectum. And no, I see no correlation between a penis or dildo in a vagina and rectum. The one is made for the purpose and self-lubricates and the other does not. I am wondering if “abuse” of that tissue type by lubes, toys, and latex, like acid reflux in the esophagus, could encourage cancer. I have seen no data one way or the other, but haven’t really looked that deeply into it (not a pun).

    1. Papa says:

      Like I said in my response to your last post, I’m in TOTALLY ABSOLUTE disagreement with you. I won’t be surprised IF you DONT publish this response like you didn’t the last one. However, I’m happy you read it which implies you’ll as well read this one.

      ”In fact, there are some women who cannot orgasm from vaginal sex, but can from anal sex, and many more who claim anal sex is more pleasurable than vaginal sex. And simple proximity to the vaginal opening is enough for some couples to try, according to our survey, either intentionally, or by accident.

      On the citation above, I very STRONGLY disagree with you that there are some women who do NOT NORMALLY orgasm through vaginal sex except anal sex. Such women are PERVERTS. They fall into same category with the men and women who DONT feel any sexual attraction to the opposite sex apart from same sex. Tell me, will you also justify same sex relationship based on that? Doesn’t the Sodomites claim they are created that way. Why dont you believe them? Let God be true and all men liars. Our standard as Christians is the Bible and the Spirit of God NOT your opinion poll or survey result. Isn’t the majority of Americans including mainline denominations supporting same sex marriage and redefining biblical marriage today.

      Finally that you are INVOLVED in a perversion does NOT mean you should sell the same to your blog readers. I bless God for this :
      ”When we were dating, Jay was quiet excited to explore all of me(not something we suggest while dating, but it’s the truth), and was very interested in touching everything everywhere. I was a sheltered country girl and had no experience what so ever when it came to boys, so it was a little shocking to me when he started rubbing and poking in areas that were not used to that. I told him, “That area is for stuff to come out, not in!” It stopped for a while, but not really that long. And it did get me excited and I started to enjoy the feeling, so I didn’t tell him to stop anymore.

      Gradually things got more and more interesting with playing, that once I had my awakening I started to play with him more too. It really isn’t something that you just jump right into. You build that trust and intimacy as you get to know your spouse in a way that is like no other”

      The above was when you allowed the Spirit of God to lead you until you grew familiar with the sin and grew a callous thick skin over it, you silenced the voice of the Spirit and began to listen to the voice of the flesh and what you call ”my awakening” and it became acceptable to you.

      you should have asked yourself where Jay got the idea from IF NOT through contact with people who get ideas from the pit of hell.

      Listen my friend, sin will alway remain a sin. Remember EVERY idle word a person speaks or WRITES shall be brought to judgment. Whoever shall cause any of these little ones that believe in me to go astray, it will be better……”

      1. Jay Dee says:

        You’re mistaken, I did publish your last comment, and responded to it.

        It seems to me that you have taken the 2nd and 3rd arguments and ignored the first, which I think is key to the whole post. Yes, they are not arguments in an of themselves, but are only valid after we have explored the biblical perspective. But, taking the pieces you took out of context, they can easily be disregarded in an of themselves.

        However, as a whole, you have not brought anything but your own personal feelings in rebuttal. If you have a biblical argument, please bring scripture.

        I did my best to bring the scripture that was applicable (and there isn’t much, if any). Beyond that, the bible tells us in Psalm 19:1-3, Acts 14:15-17, Romans 1:20 that nature also declares the glory of God and can how His Will. And so, I brought these discussion of is it “natural”, because, when the Bible says nothing against it, and nature (God’s creation) seems to allow for it, who am I to say it is sin?

        Again, if you have a biblical argument, please bring it forward so we may discuss. If not, I suggest you evaluate your beliefs in this matter, and their origin.

      2. Robyn Gibson says:

        I sense lots of Law here and very little Love.

      3. Christine C. says:

        On the citation above, I very STRONGLY disagree with you that there are some women who do NOT NORMALLY orgasm through vaginal sex except anal sex. Such women are PERVERTS.

        So, there are women for whom PIV sex is painful because of medical conditions. Some of these women and their partners may enjoy anal sex or play since it allows them sexual intimacy without pain. Is it really fair to say that all women who enjoy this type of stimulation are perverts?

        I guess what I find confusing is that we’re talking about married couples. If one partner just doesn’t enjoy an act at all and cannot achieve orgasm through it, why is it perversion to find another way to orgasm? Should the person who doesn’t enjoy said act just deal with it and live a life without sexual fulfillment? How does one cure perversion, for that matter?

        1. Anonymous says:

          You do know only 1 out of 3 women can orgasm from their vagina

      4. robie says:

        papa, i support you 100%

      5. Spiritwalker142 says:

        Papa; I have known 2 women that the only way they could orgasm was from anal. I didn’t date them but they claimed it so. And I have known several who could orgasm from anal or PIV.

      6. JPJ116 says:

        Ok I don’t get your response. Yes I believe that Homosexual activities are a sin. However we’re talking about anal sex between a married couple. You said you enjoyed it. So exactly what are you calling a sin? If your calling anal sex perverted then what Biblical principles do you have to back that up? So are you saying that you have something in your body that God gave you but you thing He made a mistake in giving it to you? I agree with Jay Dee. However I will leave you with this. If your husband desires this and it’s within the confines of your marriage and if you make it enjoyable then do just that, enjoy it. If you deprive your husband anything he desires that is within the barriers of your marriage Satan could use this to trap him with someone who could provide this…

        1. Holt L says:

          Firstly, JPJ116, when you say “If you deprive your husband anything he desires that is within the barriers of marriage, Satan could use it to trap him with someone who could provide this……love,” you speak of a horrible husband who would be solely to blame (not Satan, as he only tempts, be we make the decision to do the evil) for divorcing/cheating on his wife for physical pleasure, not “love.” Love for his wife does not revolve around his preferred means of sexual pleasure, but around her concerns not to engage in something with a high chance of harming her. As a guy, that husband in the example disgusts me. He’s not loving his wife like Christ loved the church at all and there’d be no excuse for his actions at all.

          But in regards to whether or not “anal sex is a sin,” we cannot explicitly say that it is because we cannot point to a verse that says it is with clear translation from the original Hebrew and Greek texts. Paul and some OT verses do make it clear that any form of sex between same-sex partners is against God’s intended purpose for human genitalia and an abomination to him. As marital partners, I believe the grand majority of us would like to be able to engage in whatever form of gratifying sexual activity with our spouses we fancied, but we should “die to the flesh daily” if we find that certain sexual acts go against God’s will for us. A lot of what we learn of God’s will for us can be learned “implicitly” from things he says explicitly, so let’s see how this applies to anal sex.

          So in Romans 1, as the writers of astutely pointed out, “At verse 26, Paul introduces the concept of nature into the discussion. The verse says literally ‘they have exchanged the natural use for that which is contrary to nature.’ ” He speaks against the “sexual union” of “man with man” and “woman with woman” here, and the forms of these sexual unions could logically (almost exclusively) be anal and oral sex. Now if we look at nature and the way our bodies are built, we see the obvious easy flow and utility of PIV sex. Let’s put us in timeless situation, with just a man and a woman without external items or outside interference. The woman and man get excited, her genitalia creates a more spacious cavity and secretes lubrication, his genitalia becomes large and rigid, and both can combine those readied parts to reach orgasm (especially if the man fully enters and his base/frontal pelvis makes continued contact with the woman’s clitoris to continually stimulate it toward her climax, while stimulating those ” hypogastric nerve, the vagus nerve and the pudendal nerve”). There’s a reproductive function to it and everything. Now if we look at anal sex in comparison… Imagine anal sex left to its own devices, with just the human bodies and no external items. I don’t think I need to describe it (but blood, feces, anal fissures, deleterious bacteria, and torn tissues would be part of said description) but it does certainly not fit the “natural use” idea we can see in from the human body’s design while it does come close to “self-harm” in the pursuit of pleasure. I mean think about it, we’re talking about shoving genitalia made for urination and emitting reproductive fluid into a place that only emits an “unappealing” waste. You’ll see in multiple scriptures that God talks about “glorifying God with your body,” and “your body is God’s temple; he who destroys God’s temple will be destroyed by God,” and that should give every Christian great pause when thinking about something like this. Sure, there’s pleasure in anal sex that’s built in to your nervous system, but then again the same can be said for autoerotic asphyxiation, which is one pursuing pleasure which can end in death. Practices like these fit the description of “perverse,” the more I think about it. And honestly, I’ve had tempting feelings toward anal sex myself, but the more I think about it, the more I can address this fleshly, semi-self-destructive idea to death and walk more in Spirit.

          Remember guys, “whatever isn’t faith is sin.” I can find a lot of scripture between verses against lewdness, homosexuality, and self harm to implicitly worry about anal (and oral, for that matter) sex being a sin and no scripture that makes me think it’s fine, so I find it most prudent to err on the side of caution. I understand where those who defend anal sex come from. I understand it looks like tasty fruit. But we have to make a choice, here. It’s kind of like taking a chance, as it’s very possible God would say, “Naturally, that act is filthy. Of course I didn’t want you doing it. Why do you think I made the penis and vagina so perfect for each other?”

          Lastly, I have a BA in English literature, and reading that passage between the man and woman in Songs of Solomon did not demand to be taken literally as it is awash in metaphor. It talks about one lover consuming/eating the other’s fruit (engaging the mind with all the senses of taste, smell, touch, as well as appetite, and desire in order to create potent imagery and sensation in the audience), and we know they’re not advocating cannibalism. Don’t go around thinking that oral/anal sex is advocated in the Songs of Solomon, kids; stay in school.

          1. Jay Dee says:

            Except your very argument undermines itself. You cannot use the argument that the clitoris proves vaginal sex is preferred, when the clitoral legs wrap all the way down and around the anus, providing stimulation during anal sex. In fact, in our survey on the subject, 80% of the wives who participate in anal sex say they orgasm from the activity. And according to research, only 70% of women have orgasms with any sort of frequency from vaginal sex. So, seems like anal sex actually works better in terms of giving pleasure. In fact, 50% of women say they “sometimes” have orgasms from PIV sex, but our survey said that 60% of participating women have sex at least half of the time from anal sex. 33% said they do 90-100% of the time! That beats the PIV stats hands down.

            Plus, frankly, I think you’re twisting that whole “natural” and “unnatural” passage around to make it fit your argument. The issue isn’t where the penis goes (after all, for lesbians there is no penis involved), but on the order of the universe: man and woman, together. I don’t think it matters if the penis is in the mouth, vagina, anus, between her breasts or in her armpit (yep, that’s a thing). What matters is that it’s a husband and wife.

            Christianity has, unfortunately, claimed many things are dirty, filthy, etc, from oral and anal sex, to regular vaginal sex as well.

            And yeah, if you do anal sex wrong, it can cause harm. You know what, if you do vaginal sex wrong, it can cause harm too. Not much of an argument there. Frankly, if you talk to your wife in the wrong way, you’re going to harm her. So, if you can’t figure out how to do any of those things without harming your wife…well…stay in school.

            1. Holt L says:

              Alright, you turned my little school joke into a jab. My mistake; I mean for a generative, malice-free discussion.

              Well your response errs in implying I said “vaginal sex is preferred” as I said no such thing. I would like you to address how it is natural to have anal sex when the body naturally makes the process a disaster without externally derived lubricants. A standard definition of natural is ‘existing in or formed by nature (opposed to artificial )’, and that means a process requiring unnatural lubricants to be safe isn’t naturally safe, and definitely not ‘naturally safe’ to anywhere near the extent that vaginal sex is. The fact that anal sex is more hazardous than vaginal is inarguable.

              Speaking of lubricants, some of them are unhealthy for use in the absorption-heavy, sensitive rectum, which is not made for the continued friction of a penis the way a vagina was. We’d be unwise to rely on your survey alone as a singular, paramount authoritative source on the issue, so I’ll direct you to the bottom of this page where there are 5 links, 4 of which are of peer reviewed scientific research articles on anal sex in women. The page itself colloquially simplifies its view on them, and I’m not saying I “advocate the page” so as not to be misconstrued, but the research it draws from is far more reliable to draw from which to draw a reliable conclusion from. In a sample from one of the articles, 48.8% of 1,265 “had to discontinue their first anoreceptive intercourse because of pain or discomfort…” Here, anal sex is not beating PIV hands down. It is winning at “providing women with too much pain to continue it,” however. I didn’t bother to provide the stats on vaginal sex in comparison, as there’s “not much of an argument there.” But if you find that the majority of women find vaginal sex more painful by and large than anal sex, that’d be astounding.

              Now that’s just the critique on the naturalness or safety of anal sex. When it comes to pleasure, you could point to articles like this that have testing showing that women achieve orgasm more consistently from anal sex than vaginal, and that’s interesting – but more interesting are the surrounding factors that can influence the findings of such studies. Substantial, highly influential factors they mention are: “The figure isn’t exactly an accurate representation of the most effective sex, orgasm-wise. Only 31 of the women surveyed actually took part in anal sex, significantly reducing the size of the study’s anal sex related data sample. It’s also possible that women who try anal sex are more open to trying different sexual acts, and may be more confident in bed, which might add to their abilities to achieve orgasm more reliably. Or, anal sex might be happening with more build-up, increasing its orgasmic power. Or anal is most likely to be accompanied by clitoral stimulation, which is more likely to have led to the orgasm. There’s a LOAD of factors involved.” These things should definitely be taken into account before respectable claims are asserted.

              I’m not sure the Christianity you’re referring to is the same one I’m drawing from with scripture, as even the Catholic Church is considered within “Christianity,” and they have doctrine that directly contradicts the bible’s teachings all over their history and dogma. But if you were referring to non-denominational people who just try to follow what Jesus taught (mostly from the New Testament), then the fact that God called some things filthy doesn’t make Him any less right in His statement. Of course, if you don’t believe in Jesus’ divinity, then… I’m sorry, but I don’t believe we’ve established a basis to decide what’s “right” or “wrong” in this discussion. If you do rely on Christ to judge what is “good” and not, then again, you will find many a scripture to give any reasonable person pause before saying “As long as a husband and wife are doing it consensually, it’s good.” They don’t decide what’s “good,” God does, and something isn’t necessarily “good” just because it oft provides them pleasure.

              And look, I’m sure the tone of this post wouldn’t make you want to be my best friend, but I surely am not your enemy. I’ve learned about very high “anal sex satisfaction %’s in women” from your work. I’m sorry that my information overall opposes advocacy for the idea of “sinless married anal sex,” but I hope you know I’m trying to benefit you and whoever sees it.

              1. Jay Dee says:

                I honestly don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish other than upset large groups of people at this point. You seem to be merely trying to insult everyone at the table…

                Fact is, there is a lot of conflicting “facts” about anal sex. One group can run a survey and another group can run the same survey to disprove it. Research can be done to say one thing and research done to say the opposite. In the end, I see nothing in the Bible saying you may not have anal sex, and I see both biological and experiential data to suggest that it’s a good thing. Of course, this requires you take the necessary precautions, and yes, you need lubricant. But to suggest that because the body doesn’t self-lubricate for anal sex that it’s wrong would mean you must also say that getting a back massage is wrong…because after all, the back will not self lubricate, and if done improperly, you can cause more pain than help. It’s not a strong argument.

                So, if you are trying to benefit us…then I suggest you think through your objections a bit more.

                Oh, and yes, I believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and I think the entire Bible is the inspired work of God … not just the New Testament. But I appreciate your attempt to call me a non-Christian, and to imply that I believe in relativistic morality. I’m guessing you haven’t read many of my posts in order to come to that errant conclusion, and so that was merely a misstep out of ignorance. Obviously you were just trying to benefit me 🙂

              2. Jake Trapper says:

                Extremely well thought out and objectively a more logic, fact based argument. What’s obvious to the casual reader like myself is that Jay Dee has to resort to accusations regarding your motive. In court, his accusations would almost certainly fail. Further more, his attacks are bordering ad hominem…which is a logical fallacy. On top of that, his response indicates he’s more concerned with you “making lots of people mad” than he is with getting closer to the truth. Personally, I believe that the bible says nothing to advocate anal sex of any kind but it does advocate PIV sex on numerous occassions. Combine that with clear statements that homosexuality is a sin and you’re not left with a strong argument in God condoning it. I believe that’s pretty clear when you examine it critically and don’t look at it with the intention of getting permission.

                1. FoeHammer says:

                  Trapper, I believe Jay actually has made some very good arguments here. He made them all in the post. What Holt, and you, are doing is re-hashing arguments that were addressed in the post without bringing any actual new thoughts or insights to the table or discussion. You are simply stating your opinion. Which is great. But that doesn’t mean you are sufficiently supporting your opinions with scriptures or facts. Children argue in this way. “I believe it is this, so it is. harumph”

                  Seems Holt’s and your opinion is simply [I don’t think it’s natural]. Which was addressed in the post. Holt goes as far as to claim the lack of lubrication is evidence that it is unnatural. I’d love to have him tell that to all the women that frequently if not all the time have extreme vaginal lubrication issues. Meaning they don’t naturally lubricate. So PIV sex is extremely painful w/o “unnatural” lubrication.

                  Jay’s point about back massages is another example of “unnatural” based on lack of lubrication. So Holt’s *opinion* simply doesn’t hold water there.

                  The Bible does nothing to advocate back rubs, foot rubs, love notes, or anything specific like that either. So using that, the Bible’s lack of advocating for something, as an argument against something, is weak at best. The Bible doesn’t advocate for a lot of things that are not sinful.

                  Homosexuality is clearly and very specifically (scripturally) not within the bounds of a loving marriage. It simply has absolutely nothing to do with sex within marriage. If you wanted to point out where the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong *BECAUSE* of anal sex, then I’m all ears. But the scripture that deals with it has never shown that as far as I know. It is always in reference to the fact that it is sexual acts outside of a God ordained marriage.

                  In all, I’m glad these blogs and the like is out there so Christians can actually discuss these and other issues like this.

                  1. Patrick says:

                    Does that mean if I’m gay,that I should not marry a man.And be celibate my whole life.And if I do marry a man,and have anal sex,that I will go to hell.

              3. Hunter says:

                Spit is a natural lube, its all me and my wife use.

          2. AGirlTrying2ProveRight says:

            I Love This. Thank you!

        2. Andy says:

          Perhapps the stimulation is used to help you in the action of pooping providing a source of releife especially when your sick however thats just my thaughts. To add a question does sodemy include oral, masterbation, boob job or just anything that dosint involve the iteractions between a penus and a Vagina?

          1. Jay Dee says:

            Well, sodomy includes any sex that isn’t penis-in-vagina sex. But, the word sodomy doesn’t exist in the Bible, so that’s a non-issue.

        3. Anonymous says:

          That’s not “love” that’s lust. God even says that some of the things we naturally desire or lust after are wrong. If you want to shove your member into your partner’s anus because it satisfies your flesh and not because of your heart, then that is not love. Sorry, but lust and love are not equals and most marriages that are based on a foundation of lust always seem to crumble.

          1. Jay Dee says:

            You don’t know if the reason is because of “the flesh” or “the heart”, so you can’t make a judgement call like that.
            This also seems to assume it’s always the male who wants it. Many times, this is instigated by the wife.

      7. Kayla S says:

        You do know that women do not try to “not orgasm” with vaginal sex, nor do they have control over the fact that they may orgasm with anal sex? I’m not saying that anal sex is or isn’t the right thing to do, but to say a woman is a pervert just because she doesn’t orgasm with vaginal sex, to imply that she doesn’t experience sexual pleasure just be used she doesn’t orgasm, and to lump her into the same category as those who experience pleasure in same sex sexual activity is plainly ignorant and offensive to women.

    2. Jay Dee says:

      I have not seen any long term research in this area, but then I wouldn’t even be sure of how to search for such a thing either.

    3. Chris says:

      Paul at TheMarriageBed references a study in his article on anal sex ( that points to gay men having anal issues. I disagree with the article and in regards to the study I think there are issues. Paul mentions that gay men have a higher frequency of anal sex compared to hetero couples. Also, gay men are much more likely to have random partners and I don’t think they are comparable to a Christian married couple.

  2. Catherine says:

    Lev 18:22
    “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.” NIV
    My reading of this verse is this. A man should not have sex with another man which would be anal as a man does not have a vagina. So the part of this verse that says ” as one does with a woman” ……here is where it gets interesting. A woman does have both a vagina and an anus. “As one does with a woman” suggests that a man has anal sex with a woman because a man can not have sex with another man in the vagina as he does not have one. It would seem from this verse that it was normal for a man to have anal sex with a woman.
    My arguement might sound weak but there is very little said on this in the scriptures. In marrage, I am his and he is mine. All my body is his and all his body is mine. Love has to be the most important thing in our marrage. Giving and recieving love in my marrage is the biggest challenge that I face most days.
    Well done for bringing this topic up.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Hi Catherine, thanks for commenting! Glad you enjoyed the post, and thanks for your thoughts. I’d agree, there isn’t much there.

    2. Anonymous says:

      AMEN…….these are my thoughts & convictions exactly. Homosexuals took the acts FROM the heterosexuals, the heterosexuals did not take the acts from the homosexuals. I believe Gods Word would have made this VERY clear when speaking on marriage & marriage bed, but it only says the marriage bed is undefined & wife’s body is now husbands & husbands body is now wife’s. If it’s agreeable & consensual between husband & wife then where is the problem??

    3. Anonymous says:

      “as one does with a woman” it means sexual relations period, stop twisting scriptures. Anal sex is not ok.

      1. Jay Dee says:

        …that’s the same argument I’d make to say it is okay… I don’t understand your using it.

    4. Danny says:

      I’m married been going on 18 years. …we have a son….I personally like having anal sex .& my wife does. To …..sometimes she asks if we can sometimes I ask……..I don’t force her… that a sin…….as for oral sex. No we don’t do that. ….I love my wife enjoy her and she with me……I’d rather marry then burn…..I ask lord to talk to me if it’s wrong. …..I would like to hear Christians women & men comments on it ..yes if they do or not do feel guilty even though you’re married man & women only..

  3. Lindsay Harold says:

    Lacking a definite and clear prohibition on anal sex in the Bible or a principle that clearly makes it wrong, we should be careful not to add prohibitions of our own making. Every time any kind of sex is forbidden in Scripture, it is always because it is outside of a marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. It is extramarital sex that is forbidden. Within a marriage, God doesn’t really forbid anything. Of course, there are principles such as loving each other as yourself and building each other up which apply. But in cases of sex that harms the other person, the problem isn’t the sex, it’s the harming. If anal sex can be done without causing harm (and it can, with some care), then it isn’t forbidden and it isn’t wrong.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      My thoughts exactly! Thanks for commenting! Nice to know we’re not alone.

    2. Spiritwalker142 says:

      I compleetely agree!!

  4. J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) says:

    Well, I’m sure you already know I’m going to disagree! I’m among those who believe that not every single situation is covered with a Thou Shall or Thou Shalt Not in the Bible; indeed, Jesus talked far more about principles that honor God. I will not be encouraging this practice, as I do believe that it is harmful to the body and isn’t covered as a sexual practice between husband and wife (like oral sex is, quite frankly) in the Bible. However, I also believe there are fabulous Christians who disagree with me, and we can each study the Word, interpret as best we can, and live according to our conscience.

    Only one place did I think your argument was a bit unfair: “to write off anal sex/anal play because of them, in my opinion, would be akin to saying no one should drive a car because someone might get hurt.” Those of us who object to the practice would never say it’s like driving a car, but more like driving that car at 70 mph around mountainous curves and wearing no seatbelt. (Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you get the general point. 🙂 )

    Regardless, thanks for tackling a tough subject. I know such posts are not always easy.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      That’s OK, you’re welcome to disagree. I appreciate the comment and the encouragement all the same!

  5. Dat Preacha says:

    It is NOT harmful to the body any more than “rough” vaginal sex, nor is it deemed an “unholy” practice biblically. Anyone that says that they have bible to back up their disagreement has bad exegesis . The ENTIRE marriage bed is undefiled! Furthermore..the sin of Sodom was not even “just homosexuality” it was unrestrained, ungodly living as a whole! Sexually, socially & spiritually! Thank God for grace….because I am sure that America has already made Sodom AND Gomorrah blush! It is not necessary for me to go into great detail because Lindsay put it GREAT:

    “Every time any kind of sex is forbidden in Scripture, it is always because it is outside of a marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. It is extramarital sex that is forbidden. Within a marriage, God doesn’t really forbid anything. Of course, there are principles such as loving each other as yourself and building each other up which apply. But in cases of sex that harms the other person, the problem isn’t the sex, it’s the harming. If anal sex can be done without causing harm (and it can, with some care), then it isn’t forbidden and it isn’t wrong.”

    Amen indeed.

  6. Amy says:

    Well, I wasn’t going to comment but have decided to share some thoughts I’ve had since last post with the survey.

    First off, is anal sex a sin? This seems to be the big question that everyone wants a black and white answer to, but no where that I can find in God’s Word does it say it’s a sin between a husband and a wife.
    So, the simple answer is God does not tell us that anal sex is a sin. Period.
    Homosexuality, yes. Anal sex between two men is quite often referred to in the bible as a sin.
    That I think we all (or most) agree with.

    Second, I think we need to differentiate between anal sex and anal play. I agreed with a commenter from last week’s post that there should have been more distinction in the survey between the two, because at least to me, there is a difference.
    Anal sex in my definition is a husband’s penis penetrating his wife’s anus.
    Anal play can be anything from rubbing the outside of the anus or putting some object other than a penis inside the anus.
    If I’m not clear on those please correct me.

    SO….having stated all of that — what exactly am I trying to say?? Well, let’s see if I can be articulate enough to share my thoughts in a clear manner. 😉

    In a nutshell — I do not believe anal sex is part of God’s design for a husband and a wife. Now, I did not say God says it is sinful between a husband and his wife, but I do not believe it was in His design for us.
    I do believe He gives us free reign to enjoy each other to the fullest within the framework of marriage and we are called to become ‘one flesh’ when we marry. And in that regards, I believe God designed our bodies most wonderfully for becoming one flesh — a male has a penis, a female a vagina and the two fit together perfectly.
    Is PIV the only way for a husband and a wife to connect? No. Song of Solomon paints a beautiful picture of a man and his wife enjoying each other to the fullest with their genitals, hands and mouth. I think we are to use all of our senses — taste, touch, sight, smell, and hearing — during sexually intimacy. We are to explore and have fun with our spouse.

    So did God goof putting that little temptation where he did? Nope, not likely since God does not make mistakes. The human body is so amazing with all it’s intricacies which God wove together while we were still in our mother’s wombs. It astounds me how every part of the human body functions. As a childbirth educator and medical assistant I love learning about the body and wonderfully put together it is.

    Every part of the body has a unique purpose — the kidneys, liver, heart, and penis, vagina and clitoris, etc — and the anal canal too. The anal sphincter is like a one-way door — designed for elimination but not penetration, just like the urethra. The vagina on the other hand is uniquely designed to hold a penis and also birth a baby.

    Yes, anal touch can feel very good during sexual arousal. That’s because of the many nerve endings surrounding the anus all along the perineum in both male and female. During a state of arousal in both man and woman, when the whole genital region including the perineum (the skin between the urethra and anus) is more highly sensitive to touch due to an increased blood flow, it can feel exquisitely wonderful to be touched all along the area including the anus. But touching is different than penetration. There is definitely medical basis for avoiding anal sex which can cause pain, tearing and infections, and certainly the spread of STI’s if one or both people have any.

    Regarding tearing — I don’t know that someone would feel a tear occurring unless it’s a major laceration. More typically it would be small tears which occur around the opening of the anus. Just as in childbirth, it is common for women to have very small tears around the vaginal opening not requiring stitches, but the woman most likely doesn’t even know unless her midwife or doctor tells her. The same could hold true for the anus.

    To prevent infections cleanliness is a must and since the anus harbors bacteria, anal sex can indeed lead to infections with bacteria being transferred to the vagina and urethra. Nothing that ever touches or is inserted into the anus should ever, ever come in contact with the vaginal or urethral area until washed thoroughly.
    I do agree with you regarding the medical community, but I would say that anal sex is medically unsound from a health perspective.

    Well, I could write more, but this has gotten long enough and isn’t as cohesive as I’d like but I need to run for now.

    As believers we must pray for direction and then make the best decisions for what is mutually satisfying in each of our own marriage beds.
    And one day we will see clearly and not have to question anything of this world anymore!

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Hi Amy. I appreciate the comments. It’s nice to see that even though we don’t all agree, we can be civil. And yes, I look forward to the day when all will be made clear.

  7. Robyn Gibson says:

    This was awesome JD, well done!

    I think anal sex is sin when committed by people it was never intended for. Not unlike any kind of sexuality performed outside of a marriage covenant with God becomes ‘pornea’ (wrong sex). The act itself is neither good or bad; acceptable or not; it’s the people that have God’s permission.

    –This is why we call it “living in sin” when people have sex that aren’t married. Friday the sex is sin. Saturday they get married. Saturday night it’s not sin anymore. The act didn’t change – they just have God’s permission now.
    –Same with eating the “evil/unclean” meat. In the OT — very bad. In the NT — very good. Because God said so.
    –The only thing that can defile a marriage bed is prostitution and adultery.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Hey Robyn, thanks. Though, I disagree with the unclean meats argument. Most people will cite Acts 10, but verse 28 seems to show the significance of that vision/dream (not about food). I’ll have to write on that on my other blog I think.

      1. Robyn Gibson says:

        Hey JD; I think it’s a metaphor that includes, but is not limited to food. I’m not big on citing verses as you probably can tell; you can twist them, usually, to either direction. And someone will, no doubt, cite that all Scripture is profitable for education, correction etc etc. ; )

  8. Paul H. Byerly says:

    “Now, for myself, I’ve found that medical community, these days, seems to be a lot more interested in risk aversion than it is in actually is in giving sound medical advice.”
    This is true, but it is a double edged sword. Doctors who publicly say anal sex is harmful usually get attacked. So they avoid risk by not talking about it. This means we are working without solid medical information, which is unfortunate.
    For the record, I don’t think it is sin. I do know it can be physically harmful, but due to fear of speaking on it I cannot back that well or know how big a risk it is.

  9. Pastor K says:

    In your post on masturbation, you admitted, “But there are many things the church upholds as implicitly Biblical that aren’t explicitly stated in the Bible.” This is inarguably true. Then you made your conclusion based on your very broad definition of sex and chalked masturbation up to the sin column, assuming that the one who masturbates solo in any circumstance lacks self-control. Did I paraphrase your logic accurately? Your opinion was presented from a fuzzy textual inference at best; an eisegetical insight at worst. I find it a bit inconsistent of you to say that anal sex is OK given that there are many more passages that deal with anal sex than masturbation (the only time anal sex is even mentioned in the Bible is in the context of homosexuality, correct?). In other words, you say that masturbation is a sin when there are no passages that explicitly teach that it’s a sin while at the same time you endorse anal sex when even stronger inferences can be made from several texts that speak to anal sex. My point is that you can’t say that anal sex is OK and solo masturbation isn’t because the Bible does not explicitly say it is for either, although I counsel people to refrain from engaging in anal sex because God clearly did not design our bodies for it.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      You missed a key element I think. In my posts on masturbation, my largest … argument? … is that you can engaging in sexual activity without your spouse, and that I believe the Bible states the principle that sex should be shared with your spouse, and only with your spouse implicitly and consistently throughout scripture.

      But, all the passages in the Bible that could possibly relate to anal sex, seem to be obviously not about the activity, but about the pairing. Why else would is condemn sex between men and sex between women? The same activity is not there (without some additional aid). So, I’d argue that the inferences was not stronger, they are weaker.

      1. Pastor K says:

        So, your conclusion is mainly based upon what you think constitutes as “sexual activity?” I’m just trying to pinpoint your argument exegetically. If self-control is the issue, which I think is a legitimate argument in many cases, it’s possible for one to direct their thinking towards their spouse. Thereby exercising self-control. I know I’m not going to sway you, but as an honest God-fearing man, you can’t say that masturbation is sin NO MATTER WHAT since your argument(s) is solely based on inferences. Just like I can’t say that anal sex is wrong in all cases.

        In regards to anal sex, by the way, one has to admit that 1) whenever it is mentioned in the Bible, it is negative and 2) our “behinds” were not designed for anything to enter it. What about men receiving anal sex with a toy if it gives him pleasure (gross and very weird to me)? To be consistent, you’d have to approve of that too, right?

        1. Jay Dee says:

          Again, my primary argument is not that it is a self-control issue. It’s that it is intended as shared activity with your spouse. And so yes, I still would stand on the belief that it is a sin no matter what.

          As for anal sex 1) I’d argue that anal sex between married spouses is not mentioned at all and 2) without knowing the mind of God, and since He has not stated in the Bible, you cannot say what His intent was in creating our posteriors.

          As for men receiving anal sex with a toy, as long as it’s a shared experience with said man’s wife and no others (the usual stipulation), why not?

        2. Haya says:

          Brother I agree with you totally. God abhors this and however far the so called liberal church wants to takeissues, He has not changed. I mean may the Spirit of God lead us into all truth John 16:13. The church is walking in the flesh.

          Very soon we shall be told to drink wine because it was Jesus’ first miracle. Yet the Bible tells us not to be drunk with wine but the Holy Spirit

          I Choose to stand by the truth which sets us free.

          1. Jay Dee says:

            What proof do you have that God abhors anal sex? Certainly it’s not biblical proof, so I’m curious where you draw it from.

            And I’m certainly not considered in the “liberal church”. Check out my other blog ( In fact, I agree with you on the wine issue.

            But, don’t confuse biblical truth with personal opinion. That’s dangerous and blasphemous.

        3. AnonymousCowardess says:

          By your logic of not designed for anything to enter, then colonoscopies and enemas are a sin. In all of this, the greatest sin is the hubris of man to claim to have ANY understanding of how God feels about ANY of this. I am glad you are not my counselor.
          Thank you for being a shining example of why I left the church. You’d call me backsliden, but God calls me “child”….and I’ve NEVER been closer to God than when I took religion out of the equation. I commune with the Lord daily, and my life has been truly blessed, and I am sorry, but I do not think God gives one iota what I do behind closed doors with my husband.

          1. Jay Dee says:

            Careful there. In the same comment, you said the greatest since is to think you understand how God feels about it, and then in the next you say you don’t think God cares what happens in your bedroom. You’ve sort of painted yourself into a corner there.

            Besides, I don’t think that’s the greatest sin at all. Knowing God and rejecting Him is.

            Anyways. While I agree with your stance on anal sex, I’m saddened that you’ve allowed some individuals to keep you from regular communing with believers. I think you know that’s not right because you seem to be trying hard to justify it.

  10. Dan says:

    Paul-I guess you answered my question which was the first comment up. I suspect within the gay community there are a number of doctors who have studied and kept records on this but haven’t published any data on it. No doubt society’s deep taboo keeps the information suppressed. What physician wants to publicly risk their standing by speaking favorably about anal sex if the risks were minimal with condom use? Which ever way the data were to go, they may not want to express a professional opinion making them the constant choice of the media as the go-to “voice of anal sex and play.”

  11. jeff says:

    I just read your blog on why married christian men masturbate and why we should put all our sexual energy into our spouse… laughable. What if they do not have sexual energy, so they put nothing into that part of the marriage?

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Well Jeff, I don’t have ability to speak to your spouse, so I can’t tell her what to do. All I can do is talk to you, and to you, I would say that regardless of whether or not your spouse put the effort it has no bearing on your responsibility to put your effort and energy towards your spouse.

  12. Guy says:

    Hang in there Jay Dee. It looks like you kicked the ant hill and the ants have come pouring out in search of something to bite. I for one don’t find any of your posts “laughable”. You write extremely well thought out posts and that you have your wife so involved in overseeing and adding to your work I think is quite exemplary. Keep it up.

    On to the topic at hand I thought that Catherine put a rather good way of summing up what Scripture does say of the practice of anal, “”””Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.” NIV My reading of this verse is this. A man should not have sex with another man which would be anal as a man does not have a vagina. So the part of this verse that says ” as one does with a woman” “”here is where it gets interesting. A woman does have both a vagina and an anus. “As one does with a woman” suggests that a man has anal sex with a woman because a man can not have sex with another man in the vagina as he does not have one. It would seem from this verse that it was normal for a man to have anal sex with a woman.”””””

    That floats quite well in my book as Biblical permission through literal breakdown of the Scripture for anal sex being okay between man and woman, but that aside can we all agree that God doesn’t make mistakes and that He is a flawless Creator. So if anal sex is a mistake between a man and a woman then why did God place the female anus so close to the vagina? Why is the act of anal penetration able to be performed in every position that vaginal sex is? Why did He wrap the nerve roots of the clitoris around the female’s anus and line her g-spot up to be stimulated pleasurably by insertion of a penis into the anal canal? Why did He line the female’s anal canal with nerve receptors that react pleasurably to fullness? If your going to respond to that by saying its a natural process to help stimulate bowl movement then I’d have to ask the women out there why they aren’t holding bowl movements in in order to experience the pleasurable fullness of them? If a woman can have a bowl movement as big and bigger than her husband’s penis painlessly then why is it regarded as almost an immoral antithesis of thought by some to have something the size of the average penis inserted in her bottom, when done right there is absolutely no pain? If the argument that anal sex shouldn’t happen because a woman doesn’t secrete lubrication anally is a viable one then wouldn’t it also be true to say that the modern car engine should never have been created as it doesn’t secrete its own engine oil? Why is the interior wall separating the vagina from the anal canal so thin if stimulation in one orifice was never meant to be carried over to the other? Going with that last question why is orgasm heightened for the female when anal play is involved if there was no intention on God’s part for the anal area of a woman to be stimulated in sexual acts with her husband? Conversely then if penile insertion into a man is listed as sin in the Bible(which it is) then why did God so conveniently place the male prostate so close to the opening where a man’s wife can so easily stimulate it with nothing but a finger? Why does the male and female anus contract with orgasm? That alone is of interest as why would there be contraction in time with a pleasurable activity if that region wasn’t somehow tied into the realm of receiving pleasure itself? Why do people get the idea that God did not know ahead of time when He created a woman’s bottom as to how unutterably attractive it is to the male of the species and thus the idea that if its beautiful than why not explore and enjoy all of it? If that last question seems as if it could be generalized over into an excuse as to how homosexual relations take place then how about we just look at Scripture and see whether or not His Word says “no” or not? Oh wait…….. it doesn’t say anything about a male and female enjoying each others specially created rears does it? So whats all the fuss then? Are we tasked as Christians and the bearers of light to the world to believe in guilt by association (gay men do it aka it must be bad)? This is a much bigger issue in the Christian world then just a husband placing his penis in his wife’s rear being okay or not. It’s a characterization in point of principle of how many Christians are willing to read and add into Scripture instead of simply reading the Scripture and applying it in their lives. We need to be real, because the world is watching us and its time to come together and if you can’t stand on exactly what the Bible says and add nothing or subtract anything from it on even the most minor of things like anal sex being right or wrong then are you really within the Body of Christ or are you preaching a doctrine of your own? Don’t be deceived. Read the Bible for yourself and let others have their opinions judged by what is written in the Word of God and not by what sounds reasonable to man.

  13. Michael says:

    So some think that God was so short sighted that he forgot to mention this one subject specifically as being wrong? Yet he was so careful to point out so many other things quite specifically. The main thing that comes to mind at this point is judging others, whether it be as immoral or whatever term you choose to use. Jay Dee, my bride and I have enjoyed reading your blogs. I stumbled upon it and showed her. The main thing I would like to convey here is that judgment of others, especially when there are no scriptures to back it up and resorting to name calling and putting others down, is more dangerous spiritually than anal sex (or homosexual sex for that matter). I ask others to simply be careful with your spirit, Satan can easily find a foothold in a judgmental mind and do far more damage than anything else due to anger/ resentment. Why are we so worried about these earthly bodies anyway? Is it not far more important the relationships, openness, love, compassion, trust, etc. that we have with our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as more deeply with our spouse?

  14. onewomanman says:

    I think the thing to remember here is the main point of this post is “is it sin?” A different post altogether might be “is it beneficial or good”. You can make all the arguments in the world that it is not sinful. Fine. I actually agree with you on this regarding its sinfulness. But if one believes it not to be beneficial, then, well, it doesn’t really matter. 1 Cor 6:12 comes to mind. “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” In some cases the spouse may simply be opposed to it (for whatever reason). It is therefore in the duty of the husband to honor her and not go there. Much as I wish it were different, I must love my wife in this way.

  15. Kay says:

    Just stumbled across this post after searching for it; I was curious to hear your thoughts. I think I agree with you that you can’t necessarily call it sin. It probably falls under the “everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial” category. For couples that find this beneficial and enjoyable and something that increases their intimacy, I have a hard time telling them that’s wrong. But I do think the risks are something to be considered, and I don’t know if the benefits outweigh those risks for me personally. And at least at this point in my life, anal sex sounds absolutely awful, painful, and not at all appealing to me, so I think it falls under the not beneficial category.

    I am curious, however, what is the appeal of anal sex to husbands? Is this one of those things that most husbands secretly want but probably don’t feel comfortable telling their wives?

    1. Some guy says:

      You are not going to get a serious answer to that but the chances are if a man never mentions it it’s because he doesn’t particularly want it. Not all men do and not all women do.

      I want to tell you a little of my experience thanks to the anonymity of the internet. For a while I teased my wife by playing with her rear hole while we were in the shower. We tried anal once and it didn’t work. We had not studied how to do it at all. But after that I would play with her with toys while going down on her because it pleased me to know that I could give her different sensations. After a certain amount of this however she started to ask for anal. We did it for a while but (unrelated I do not know) she eventually had developed a pile. It’s known that tightness helps to avoid piles so I started refusing to provide anal. A while later, in late pregnancy, she developed some fissures. For reasonably fat women that are in late pregnancy or childbirth, this is not unusual, and wasn’t connected to anal. Turns out that having too tight of a sphincter is absolutely the worst thing for fissures. A doctor told her she was too tight to heal, and over 2 years later she is not healed. She tried to get a doctor to provide some relaxants but they like to avoid prescribing any costly medications over here. If we had kept up the anal sex it would probably have made the haemorrhoids persist; they are a minor problem but do have a known simple therapy. But reducing tightness, practising anal sex/play to keep relaxing and not being tight, when convenient, she might well not have recurrent anal fissures, which are somewhat more serious. Nowadays the opportunity to play is rare because she has to be sufficiently healed for that to be realistic. Being tight is not always for the best.

      Not sure any of this speaks to the Biblical take on anal sex which indeed seems to be nonexistent, but you say about physical risks. It is not only risk, it can be beneficial.

    2. Jay Dee says:

      I’ve seen from a lot of men the response is that they like to see the pleasure their wife gets. For some women, anal sex is as good (for some even better) can vaginal sex.

      Then, add to that the “taboo-ness” of it, and you have a lot of pleasure mixed with a big dopamine boost. That’s quite the incentive for some.

    3. Aero says:

      It arouses them more because its unnatural, like a guilty pleasure, exotic, extra tight, filthy, and dangerous!

      1. Jay Dee says:

        Oh, I think I’d disagree with that statement.

    4. Anonymous says:

      you may never see this due to the length of time difference but if or most men want or like anything is just as diverse as with women. you can find some that it does or does not appeal to. as a man who has enjoy anal sex it may may not even be the act itself but the trust it requires. Now at first it may have been something i had not done and wanted to try, but after doing it was not as interesting for being new as before it was tried. That being said as for trust due to the pain or it can give the women must fully trust the man to engage in the act that can be more important than the act itself.

    5. AnonymousCowardess says:

      No Kay, some husbands had to be asked for it. My husband did not want to do it on grounds of it being a sin. When I pointed out that biblically speaking, as a married couple, it was not explicitly forbidden, and under The Talmud (I was a Messianic at the time), it was not explicitly forbidden provided that he did not waste his seed in the act. He was still reluctant until I finally told him in plain simple words that I WANTED TO TRY IT; it was not something he could do to me, but something he could do FOR ME. Now, we do it regularly, but in the utmost hygienic manner, and when I asked him if he was into it or just going through the motions, he told me that seeing me receive so much pleasure was pleasing to him.

      That said, done properly: with the wife directing all aspects of anal penetration, and taking appropriate hygienic precautions, it is far from painful. Women who cite painful insertion have not truly learned how to relax that muscle group, and the men in their lives have not learned to ignore the urge to push forward. Not much else I can say, even in clinical terms, that will not read like pornographic material, so unless asked, I will leave it at that.

      As far as the risk of incontinence, it was designed to allow much stretching to avoid impactions, as long as you avoid tearing, it is fine.

  16. ROSEMARY says:

    I agree that all sex is permissible between husband & wife as long as it’s consensual & I believe that to be Biblical. I, of course do not mean orgies, x-rated porn or adultery!! I do have a question that I would like feedback on though. It is of the oral sex nature not anal. What is the Christain “wifely” response suggested for a husband who LOVES receiving but does not enjoy ( frankly clueless anyway, though that could be dealt with) giving? The problem is NOT cleanliness or strong odor – he states he just doesn’t like it, however he does expect it. Any suggestions???

    1. Brian says:

      Rosemary, While it is not my place to comment about your husbands journey or your marriage, I would like to offer some response to your husband expecting what he is unwilling to give in your marriage. I don’t know your husband and would never judge him by calling him selfish, but if you are feeling strong enough to ask this question in a public forum like this, he is probably failing in his duty to be selfless in marriage.

      I believe that nothing stays the same and all of the journeys in life are upriver. You either do the work of paddling towards your goals or you drift further way from them. Paint a picture for him of what life is like upriver and how much closer and happier you will both be upriver. Then describe how lonely and depressing it is downriver. My suggestion is that you communicate your needs to your husband and suggest that he start paddling too; before your arms tire, and the current pulls your marriage downriver.

      i hope this helps and he begins to understand the true meaning of “happy wife, happy life”. If not, don’t give up Keep reaching out to him and talking to him, but slowly find other ways to express your love and appreciation in ways other than what he expects.

  17. Haya says:

    Well, the anus is for feces, the infallible God wasn’t mistaken to create it for that. Yes everything may be permissible yes but it may not be beneficial. Muscle tears, STI’s among others I mean its a NO, No! It is perversion and unnatural.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Odd reasoning. Feces can come out of the vagina (meconium in utero) as well as the mouth (fecal impaction of the colon). Now, those aren’t typical uses, but it can happen.
      Muscle tears can happen in the “vestibule” as it’s called, and STIs can be transmitted during any type of unprotected sex if either partner has them.
      Your arguments are weak I’m afraid, and not biblically founded despite trying to make them sound that way.

      You might want to check your biases here. I’m not saying you have to like it, but to say it’s a perversion and unnatural because of a personal opinion, that goes a bit far.

  18. Connie says:

    This information has been interesting. Mostly opinions, but with some facts as well. My husband has just asked me to do this, so I’ve come searching for answers. I personally could go the rest of my life without partaking in this activity, but I love my husband and I do not want to deny him anything if it is permissible in the eyes of the Lord. I of course love the Lord very much and I do not want to do anything that would offend Him. I would have to say that I truly believe that if it is something that would offend Him (within the limitations of marriage), it would have been no problem for Him to direct, lead, or guide one of the authors of one of the books of the Bible to address it. I consider myself to be a woman who is strongly led by the Holy Spirit, and even as I am typing this, I do not feel any prompting from the Holy Spirit not to post. As believers, we are able to take everything to God in prayer and if we allow Him to, He will lead us to what is right or wrong. This was my plan all along and in hindsight, I should have done that first, I just wanted to get some insight into the subject first. However, I am going to pray about it and await guidance from the Lord which is absolutely without a doubt the best route for all Christians to take.

  19. Robert Hagedorn says:

    Is anal sex a sin? Type “first scandal” into the Google search bar, and discover the answer.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Yeah, I don’t buy that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is an allegorical story about anal sex…

  20. Viktoriya Kim says:

    Anal sex within a married man and a woman is not allowed and considered unnatural and called to be a dishonorable passion.
    “For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.”
    Romans 1:26­-27 ESV
    “Women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another” – meaning women enjoyed unnatural (anal) sex and men likewise gave up natural relations (vaginal sex).

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I think you’re making a leap there. Just because the passage discusses homosexual relationships (which the Bible is clear on is not allowed), it is not clear that anal sex between married sposuses is prohibited.

  21. anon says:

    “As to it being unnatural to include the anus during sex, I have one question. Does God make mistakes? Now, I believe in an infallible God, and to me, an infallible God would not have blundered this badly if he did not want human beings to include this part of the body in their lovemaking, because, as it turns out, both genders have unique methods of experiencing pleasure when it comes to anal sex/anal play.”

    Very very dangerous type of reasoning. According to your logic, since God made it possible, we can do it?
    Then what about murder, rape, stealing, lying?? God made these things possible as well otherwise there would be no such things and the words to describe them would not even exist!
    There is such a think as right and wrong, there is sin!
    Therefore, your argument does not justify it being a right thing to do, I would even say its even dangerous as it justifies the opposite!

    I’m not quite sure myself which is true, but I would not trust that line of reasoning, anyone else reading this, be careful!
    Common sense tells me:
    ass = poo,
    genitals = procreation/sexual marital delight

    1. Jay Dee says:

      According to your logic, since God made it possible, we can do it?

      That’s not what I said at all. I said it was odd that He would have places so many pleasurable nerves in that area if we wanted us to stay away from it and that was directly to oppose the point of arguing it’s “unnatural”. I was merely saying it’s more likely to consider it natural than not.

      That’s not a reason to do it nor a justification. But, you still haven’t given a reason not to other than you find it icky. But, one of your arguments for using genitals is “sexual marital delight”, which I’d argue also exists for anal play/sex.

  22. Clem says:

    Be careful with the comment that if both partners have no STD s then the risk of getting one is zero or low. You have to understand the microbiology and the argument would be what causes the organism or disease to appear in the first place. You would be having sex in a dangerous environment so think about that. The most powerful argument however is that God called a meeting and read the ” the riot act to mankind ” and nowhere did he say no including to oral sex he made it clear that what would get you “wacked” or should I say killed was if you disrespect how passionate he was and is in creating a “man to be bonded with a woman only” so whatever you do do not get that wrong.

  23. Carolyn says:

    Woah! I know this an old post but the idea is completley new to me! I am 34, came to Christ when I was 27. Grew up in a non Christian home (divorced parents). I dont recall either of my parents or anyone they ever dated saying the name of Jesus and yet it has NEVER even occured to me that anal sex was anything other than a NO. I remember the first time a friend told me she tried it, wayyyy before I even knew who Jesus was and I thought that was wrong (she was not saying anything good….). I didnt judge her but my moral compass naturally says no to this. I am shocked this is something Christians do. I am not judging at all!! Please understand, I seriously had NO idea this was even a discussion….I am a little blown away right now!!!

    ….As for the theology of it all, is there mention of it in songs of solomon? From what I understand that is our guide as it were to all things sexual so I wonder if its in there, and if its not then I would conclude its not OK- for my own personal conscience.
    I havent done a study on the Songs but perhaps I will in the near future…

    1. Jay Dee says:

      It’s not mentioned in Song of Songs so far as I know, but I wouldn’t consider SoS to be the “if it’s not in there it’s no okay” rule book. Even the mentions of oral sex and manual sex are very vague and shouldn’t be necessarily used as proof positive that it condones them (though I don’t see any reason not to). For example, in SoS, they have sex in a bed and in a field. That doesn’t mean you can’t have sex in the living room or the kitchen or on a beach (so long as there aren’t people around).

      1. Carolyn says:

        I have been pondering this and I keep thinking about Romans 1.
        I do not believe that this is a natural or holy sex act, at all. I understand your reasoning and I have read several of your comments (we share the exact same views on pork btw, with the same reasoning!! Lol) but I do not agree with your arguments on this topic.
        I think that although it may bring pleasure that men also have pleasure from anal sex or they would not do it. I would NEVER use a toy or something on my husband-that would be ludicrous, and I think it to be equally unnatural for a woman. I view it as something that would be an abomination to the Lord either way. I understand you see the context of the scriptures differently..I think it wise to not only take specific scriptures in context but also the entire council of God from Gensis to Revelation and when I do that I see this act as not only unholy, I would go as far to call it adulterous lustful sexual worship. Just my opinion….. 🙂

        1. Jay Dee says:

          Romans 1 talks about women having sex with women (verse 26) and men having sex with men (verse 27). Anal sex between a man and a woman isn’t mentioned. Could you explain what you mean?

  24. Carolyn says:

    It is unnatural. Ive been skimming the comments here and everything my spirit bears witness to has been said and you do not agree. I see no need to reiterate anything. To me it is clearly and obviously not a natural sex act….

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I don’t see it, but thanks for responding.

  25. Slightly Clueless says:

    Thank you for this very informative post. Here’s an imaginary illustration: A couple (the husband, actually) discussed wanting anal sex for a very long time. His wife shot him down every time and likely will not ever allow penetrative anal sex. But after prayerfully remaining quiet about it for a time, he had one more idea, and offered it to her. She resisted some, but ultimately listened to his felt need and said okay to… his using vibrating toys “back there” while the two of them make love.

    My above illustration is meant to underscore the purpose of sexuality (one of them, anyway) between husband and wife. It is about enhancing and building their physical / emotional / spiritual bond. The term “gate keeper” is quite apt; the more conservative partner (and I mean no offense by that term) controls what happens sexually. The more adventurous partner will often find him or her self getting a bit obsessive about the act the conservative partner rejects. Hopefully, the two of them can keep talking while also finding other erotic avenue of adventure more amenable to the gate keeper / conservative partner. My imaginary illustration above offers one alternative where the conservative partner said “yes” to anal sex toys

    As a committed (fiercely) egalitarian, I am glad for a relationship where listening, learning, and trying to be open to one another affects my own sex life so centrally. Scripture is silent on this issue for a reason (IMO); every marriage is unique in its relational dynamics. Each of us, then, has to sort out how “outdoing one another in acts of love” unpacks specifically in the sexual bond we share with our spouse. What does she/he need? Want? Fantasize about? And what are things that just will never happen for me sexually because they make me sad, or remind me of past evils, or just plain repulse me? (I offer in that last category the example of sadomasochistic sex, which revolts me.) We have to sort it out; that’s part of our homework as marrieds.

    God didn’t hand us a list of do and don’t because he frankly isn’t all that interested in such categories. Love as Christ loved us, or don’t love. Tall order in or out of bed, I’m thinking.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Well, I’m a commited (fiercely) anti-egalitarian and I have no idea what being one or the other has to do with your comment.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Leviticus 18:22–You shall not lie with a male as with a woman;

    Am I the only one that noticed that this implies that we are not to lay with a man (have anal sex) in the same way we would with a womon (have anal sex). This imples that a man would have anal sex with a woman but he should not do this same identical act with a man. For if this was saying you should not lay with a man (have vaginal sex) in the same way you would a woman (have vaginal sex), then that would be impossible///Im pretty sure God is giving us the okay if women can orgasm from anal sex, just as He is giving us the okay to lick and/or rub the clit. Its not like the clit gets all that stimulated from regular sex.

    Is it a sin to stick my fingers into my wife’s vagina just because her vagina was mainly designed for my penis? Can she not put her hands on my penis just because it was mainly designed for her vagina? I would think not. So why would it be a sin for my penis to go inside other parts of her body?

    Her vagina is the main dish, yes of course. But does that mean i cant enjoy entree’s as well?

    Does she just taste food? Or does she smell food and feel the texture of food as well? Why should she just be limited to just tasting her food (vaginal) when she can use other senses to enjoy her food as well (anal; oral)?

    1. Paulus Antonius says:

      I would ask this, though: If Exodus 18:22 is strictly talking about anal, then is it opening the door for oral or manual play between men? I hardly think so.

      Consider the laws regarding cleanliness and seminal emissions. Only (and I think if you carefully read it you’ll find this to be true) — ONLY the man and his wife are allowed to be in contact with the semen. To literally everyone else it is “unclean”.

      In context with this, I would argue that Exodus 18:22 isn’t just talking about anal sex. It’s talking about sexual contact in general.

  27. Anonymous says:

    You, sir, are a heretic. I once heard a pastor who is highly regarded in my community say that what two consenting adults do behind closed doors is their business…

    I used to be a Christian, but am no longer, and I will tell you why: There is no celestial being handing out merits for “good behavior “. It is a lie, sir.

    I am married to a wonderful man. We have splendid sex, in every form you can imagine (sans the inclusion of toys. I don’t like toys and neither does he). It is amazing, it is mind blowing, it leaves me with a greater a and love for him… and that’s the way sex is supposed to be. Sex is not supposed to be strait laced and mechanical. It is supposed to be exploratory and beautiful.

    So you go ahead and stick with your grandma’s version of sex, and I’ll stick with mine.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I’m not sure who you are writing to … I mean, this post was about how anal sex is okay.

      As for the reason you left Christianity, I’m afraid you made a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, you can leave if you want, but if the reason is because “There is no celestial being handing out merits for good behaviour”, then you missed the point. The enter message of the Bible is that we don’t get merits for good behaviour. That we have no good behaviour, and we can’t earn salvation, glory, or anything else by our own right. That’s the reason we need a saviour.

      I’m glad you have a good relationship with your husband though, including mind-blowing sex. That’s largely what I’m trying to help people accomplish here 🙂

  28. Anonymous says:

    Maybe much too late to get a response, but I’ll try anyway. I’m not trying to start any arguments, just a legitimate question. I didn’t read every comment, but I did notice that several people including yourself said something to the effect that God doesn’t make mistakes, so if it was pleasurable to have anal sex, it would make sense that it was purposeful and intended even.
    But, we are drawn to sin because of temptation, and just because a sin feels good doesn’t make it okay. For instance if a women is attracted to a women, it doesn’t make it okay to act on it, although they are still able to feel that attraction.
    But that is obviously a sin to act on the attraction since the Bible clearly states against it.
    So how do we decide what is permissible in marriage and what is not? Like if a married couple makes a mutual decision to watch pornography, is that okay then (I don’t think pornography is specifically mentioned in scripture?)
    Honestly I can’t think of any other examples, but does being married and the fact that it is pleasurable really rule it out as a sin?
    I think I agree with you other than this one question, so I am curious to hear your response.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Yeah, that’s a fair question.
      I think there’s a bit difference between hardware and software, if you see what I mean. Nerve endings, clitoris structure, etc. Are all things that aren’t really that malleable. We can’t change them around. They were placed there by our Creator, and there they grow, more or less the same for every person, with some variation of size and sensitivity.

      However, our mindset is very malleable and structured less by our Creator, and more by our parents, culture, and the decisions of our life.

      As for pornography, it isn’t explicitly mentioned in scripture, no, however “porneia” which has the same root is generally translated as “sexual immorality” – basically anything sexual expression that doesn’t involve your spouse and only your spouse. The majority of Christianity holds that pornography is inviting someone else (virtually rather than physically) into your marriage bed, and thus considered “sexual immorality”. Fornication also falls under the same umbrella term, and often “porneia” gets rendered as “fornication” in some translations of the Bible.

      So, no, the simple fact of it being pleasurable is not a reason to say something is okay or not. My point was more that there seems to be a design intending on making it pleasurable. Does that make sense?

      1. Mike Backman says:

        Hmmnnn.. I find this whole post amusing and sad in that its focus is on sexual activity rather than spiritual connectedness. Attempts to justify unnatural sexual use of the anus is surely driven by sin and evil as the fallacious arguments contained within these posts are very material and secular and lust driven rather than connecting to Jesus in a marriage. The sex act is holy when its procreative in nature in forming a life and sex outside of that has nothing to do with love. Its just simple burning lust feelings that God only sanctions in a marriage according to the Bible but nowhere is it called Love…

        The main argument of many here is that if something is not 100% specifically mentioned as a sin in a specific context than its ok with God…. Who here actually knows what God’s judgments would be?… However if we look to nature and look at natural law then that would be the closest we could get to Truth in our secular existence of what could be sinful.

        With that in mind the question is simple… is anal sex a natural act in nature or is it unnatural in nature?… Well natural isnt something that just occurs on occasion… its what it occurs in the “norm” as the expected or usual. Since anal is sex is not the norm or the average usual expected sexual activity but an extreme outlier and perversion to normal sexual activity then its obviously unnatural by definition and by Leviticus and Paul “unnatural” sexual use.. as its not the expected or usual norm or average sexual act.

        So is unnatural sex a sin?… Well some also think if it gives us pleasure then its ok within a marriage… What if threesomes give married couples pleasure?…What if little children in bed give a married couple pleasure?…Pleasure is not a good measuring stick for sin as a lot of sin is pleasurable to humans….forbidden fruit as it were….

        The worst argument for pro anal sex here is the nerve endings around the anus one….Besides equating pleasure with God’s not thinking its a sin its a very weird argument. The God doesnt make mistakes and thus puts the pleasurable nerve endings and proximity of the anus near the vagina is ludicrous and denies a simple context. Isnt it possible that the pleasure is derived with buttock muscles and sphincter muscles back and forth movements as in a bowel movement which is wholly separate from sexual function?. Maybe God put the nerve endings in the anus to get pleasurable relief from a tough bowel movement and you tickling those nerve endings outside of a bowel movement is you just trying to feel good in a way unintended by God?..And just because you stimulate those same nerve endings with anal sex as with a bowel movement then it sounds as if its an attempt in equating the pleasure of a bowel movement with the pleasure of sex…. Lol… They are not the same context or even relative… Unless you are a secular driven pleasure seeking Nietzsche God is Dead relativist..But then you arent seeking Jesus in your marriage but rather a Baby boomer sex drugs rocknroll attitude and I guess if it feels good then its perfectly ok and couldnt be sinful….:)

        1. Jay Dee says:

          Well, some things are merely physical. For example, if we choose to discuss position A vs position B, there’s no spiritual value to one over the other.
          I’d argue the same goes for anal sex. There’s nothing in the Bible discussing the topic. And you can’t even say its “unnatural sexual use”. Based on what?

          You haven’t really provided anything other than mixing some words around: average, normal and natural are all very different words. You can’t say something is unnatural because it’s not normal, or because it’s not common. For example, a snowstorm in June where I live is not normal or average, but the would be nothing “unnatural” about it if it happened. What you’re getting into is old beliefs. We used to believe that abnormal things were unnatural. Left-handed people were considered deviants. I hope we’ve moved beyond that.

          Now, equating anal sex with a bowel movement can only seem reasonable if you’ve never had anal sex. I mean, I don’t know anyone who has had an orgasm from going to the bathroom …
          But, very well, take out that argument and we’re stuck at a stale mate: You don’t have a reason to say it’s sinful, and I can’t prove it’s not. So, why would we call it a sin if there’s no argument one way or another?

  29. Anonymous says:

    I think we just need to pray to God and see where he leads your hearts on this subject. It’s also important to make sure we listen to his still soft voice.

  30. Anonymous says:

    I’m curious to know what you’re thoughts are on this passage Jay Dee. Do you think that anal sex falls under the umbrella of what Paul was talking about? It’s not mentioned specifically in the Bible, but I’m wondering if it is implied in this passage of Romans 1:

    18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. 19 They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

    21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. 23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

    24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

    28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. 32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

    (Romans 1:18-32)

    1. Jay Dee says:

      To me it seems clear he’s referencing homosexuality, which is called out numerous times in the Bible, and explicitly in this passage.

  31. Budding Sensualist says:

    I consider myself to be a Christian, I try to live by the compassion of Christ, and I go to church. I am also a microbiologist with several college degrees. But there is also the carnal aspect of my life.

    First off, let me say that anal sex and all sex is more dangerous for women. They are more vulnerable to disease the way their anatomy & physiology is. Hence, women ( and men too) are much better off with sex as part of marriage, or the at very least an evolved, long term relationships based on values. Anal sex is very dangerous nowadays because of the prevalence of HPV, which might be more common among heterosexuals than HIV. If you contract HPV in your rectum, there is a high probability that you will get colon cancer. Some celebrities have met this fate, although it is not publicized much.

    But let me tell you something, some perfectly nice women prefer anal intercourse as a better way to satisfaction, but they are a distinct minority. In my case, these women were paragons of Christianity, They were CON and OES. The latter steadfast in procedural faith, the former in exhibiting the compassion of Christ to all people. Both made requests for anal. And they did not consider it sinful one bit. In their totality, they were devout, kind, and loving. And had charity for mankind. Hence, the nature of these good souls made that sort of sensual gratification seem to be just fine – .albeit different.

    So, it has been my limited experience in observing the totality of people’s lives that anal sex is just a thing that some people do as part of their base nature.

    (By the way, it is not unheard of in the animal kingdom- but that’s beside the point.)

    Does God make mistakes? Yes, the world was a mistake. That’s why he sent Jesus to redeem it.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Does God make mistakes? Yes, the world was a mistake. That’s why he sent Jesus to redeem it.

      I’ll argue this one. I don’t think sin was a mistake by God, but by Satan and us as humans.

      I think God fully knew it would happen, because there was no other way.

      Let’s say you are God, and you want to create humans to live in peace and love each other and you for eternity, how do you do it?
      Well, you could take away their ability to not love you – but then they’re not really loving. So, they need to have freewill. And if they have freewill, then there’s pretty much a guarantee that some will choose something other than God, something that will even destroy them in their ignorance and to simply want to know “what else” there is.

      So, you have to give people the experience of sin, if they choose it (which we all do), but also give a way that they can then go back to experiencing a sinless life where we can live lovingly for eternity – That’s Jesus.

      So, no, I don’t think God makes mistakes. I think He came up with a pretty ingenious plan to managed to give people freewill AND eternal life without suffering. It just has to happen in stages. We’re in the stage where we’re learning how bad sin is, so that we’ll never want it again.

      That’s how I see what the Bible is telling us anyways.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Okay many people make good points but I need to stand against this form of sex. Just because it can be done safer doesn’t mean it’s natural and okay. An article from never has some good info on this topic. I also noticed someone argued that why would God make so many nerve endings in the anus and have it so close to the vaginal area if it wasn’t to be enjoyed between married couples. My opinion to that, guys also have a lot of nerve endings in that area so does that mean it’s okay then to be homosexual no certainly not. There are many nerve endings in the anal rectum area because nerves attach to muscles to work together. In this case all those nerves in the anal/rectum area help work with the muscles to hold in stool movements and release when the time is rite. In other words they help work with the muscles to help us not be in diapers are whole life. Romans 1. 26-27 talks about men and women giving yo desires of the unnatural. The anus and rectum are part of the digestive tract, does that sound natural, I say no, look at all the things a married couple has to do to make this kinda Sex even okay but still way riskier that normal piv sex. I’m pasting an article from nev to support this claim. Lastly I’m not insulting or attacking anyone whose opinion is against mine. Just explaining why I believe what I do on this issue.

    For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. Romans 1:26-27 (NASB)

    This is an important passage since God condemns the unnatural use of the woman. What is the natural use of the women? The Greek word that is translated as “natural” is physikos and it means “produced by nature, inborn.”[7, 8] The Greek for “function ” is chresis and it refers “to sexual use of a woman”[9] or “the sexual function.”[10] What is being described is natural sexual intercourse or vaginal sexual intercourse. God’s design for the male and female reproductive systems is reproduction or having children. That is the natural function of sexual relations. Therefore, we should understand that this verse is primarily referring to sexual intercourse (vaginal intercourse) between a husband and wife as being natural, as opposed to sexual activity between two men or between two women. Secondarily, the verse refers to vaginal intercourse as God’s design for sexual activity. That is the natural use of the woman. This is an important distinction.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I think that’s a valid point about the nerve endings, but I disagree that agreeing with my stance means you have to be okay with homosexuality. That’s a false dichotomy fallacy, not a valid argument. If your sole argument against homosexuality is anal sex, then you don’t have a leg to stand on against homosexual couples that don’t engage in anal sex (about 16% of gay men and I would assume even more gay women).

      As for Romans 1:26-27 – that’s an interesting interpretation, however one that doesn’t seem to be the simplest one nor the accepted one by scholars. Verse 27 is clearly about homosexuality between men, and given the “likewise” adverb linking the two verses, it stands to reason the first one is talking about homosexuality as well. As well, the phrase Paul uses “contrary to nature” was a euphemism at the time for homosexual acts. Plato himself used the same phrasing when discussing the topic in both Phaedrus and Laws.

      As such, I disagree with your premise that the verse is discussing hetero anal sex.

      Lastly, you argue that anal sex cannot be natural as it involves the digestive tract. Am I to assume you are also against oral sex for the same reason then? Just curious if your belief is consistent as it would be the first time I’ve heard someone argue against oral sex for that reason.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Jay dee that article from never was a more intensive study on this topic so I would not expect it to be the “simplest ” to understand. There have been times in the past were many topics in the Bible were brought more to light from scholars researching translated or original meanings of words used that have helped clarify bible passages. Saying this article from never thirsty is not widely accepted because of that is like saying it shoots down all other research in biblical history similar to this. Yes romans 1-26 27 talks about home sexuality but this article takes it in more detail and shows points of views done in research on how it crosses over into natural heterosexual relationships between man and women. I know you’ll disagree with me no matter what I say, go rite ahead. If you want more clear answers go to never and message them directly.

    If your wondering my opinion on if anal sex is a sin I like many other put it in the everything is permissible but not everything is good category. God allowed it but didn’t agree with it is my opinion. With the comments on the muscles and nerve endings my point was that someone earlier said why would God put so many nerve endings in the women’s anus if it were not to be explored. Well a guys anus is very similar to a ladies with the nerve ending and muscles connecting to work together for stool movements. So yes to me that’s like saying a guys backside area is meant to be explored also, which is clearly not okay biblically. The women’s anus is part of the digestive tract very different from the female reproductive system plain and simple, I don’t see how that doesn’t fall into the not natural category. On the topic of oral sex I also put that in the everything is permissible but not everything is good category, not a sin but also not the norm. Medical articles in recent years have found it to be more risky then thought. Oral sex better health channel has info to support this claim. STDs can be spread easier In oral sex then in piv sex like anal as well. I’m not saying anyone who likes it is wrong engaging in it I’ll make that very clear. Yes there is ways to make anal sex safer I agree with that. However in my opinion I see much more medical evidence line up that it’s not natural even if done in a safer way.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I disagree that their interpretation makes more sense than the generally accepted one. I’m all for new thoughts and interpretations, but the onus is on them to prove it’s validity. I feel it didn’t.

      to me that’s like saying a guys backside area is meant to be explored also, which is clearly not okay biblically.

      I similarly don’t think you have a leg to stand on here unless you have a new argument to bring forward for this one.

      As for STDs and oral and anal sex – that’s not a great argument considering that God’s laws prescribe no sex prior to marriage which effectively removes the fear of STDs from the equation.

  34. Anonymous says:

    The argument is that if men and women leave natural relations for unnatural relations what is the natural ? The natural is that man and women have sex in the natural way God designed their bodies for. Comparing the vaginal area to the anus for sex there isn’t much similar comparison. One is the ladies reproductive tract, another digestive. I know I’ve said that before now I’ll go into more detail. For vaginal sex a married couple doesn’t need to use lubricant to risk tearing in the vaginal wall like the anal wall, clear any stool movements to risk not getting deficated on the male genitalia, or use a condom to the extent you would having insertion in the anus to not get or spread a std which is much greater a risk in the ladies anus. That rite there (backed up by many Christian sites on this form of anal sex and even in previous comments on this thread as well by many medical doctors speaking on this topic). Supports the natural vs unnatural use of the vaginal area vs the anal area for sex between Hetero married couples. there are other Christian sites that use romans 1-26-27 as an example of what I explained above as well so saying it’s not as accepted in biblical terms to unnatural sexual relations between hetero sexual married couples is wrong in my opinion.

    As,for Gods law allowing no sex prior to marriage I was never saying it was okay for that. Sex is to be done in marriage scripture support that, I was referring to oral and anal sex in marriage only and if it was okay. So you saying Gods law forbids sex before marriage and removes stds in my opinion is not a leg to stand on as well. Well I was referring to greater std risk in oral and anal sex I meant in marriage but it certainly can have a greater risk outside of marriage also equally. I don’t know what to tell you on the nerves in the women’s anus and how a guys is very similar. If one argues a ladies anus is full of nerves so it must be a sexual design that to me implies a guys could be also since it has about as many nerves. Which is biblically not okay but what I was more getting at was how those nerves are used in the way they are attached to muscles from the anus to rectum to control bowl movements and that’s why the ladies and guys anal area are similar in rich nerve endings, in ,y opinion underscoring the remark some made in a earlier post that a ladies anal area with so many nerve endings is designed for sex when those nerve endings have another function not linked to intercourse in that area like a guys. Jay dee we clearly disagree on this topic but we don’t need to be enemies we can respectfully agree to disagree. I will post one more thing I found to be helpful on this issue but please note I’m NOT forcing my or other doctors medical opinions on anyone.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I think natural relations simply refers to heterosexual sex – as it did when it was written. As well, many women need lubrication for vaginal sex as well and some don’t for anal sex (about 10% of the population self-lubricates). Clearing stool movements isn’t really too much of a concern – stool typically isn’t in the rectum unless you have to defecate, which would be uncomfortable during sex anyways, so I would think you would prior regardless. And lastly, STDs tend not to be much of a concern in a monogamous relationship (by which I mean 1 partner for life, not 1 partner at a time). You don’t contract STDs by having anal sex with someone who doesn’t have an STD.

      But I agree with you that you should not engage in any sex (oral, anal or vaginal) outside of marriage, but for more reasons than just a fear of STDs. As for men having the same nerve endings (somewhat true, though add to that a prostate and remove the clitoral legs that are also stimulated during anal sex) – I have no issues with the idea of anal stimulation for men in marriage. You have said twice now that it’s not biblically okay, but without any backup of that statement.

  35. Anonymous says:

    From the website I’ll quicklymstate that the amount of doctors who are for anal sex being okay is outnumbered by a good amount vs those who aren’t. And Christian websites and sex therapists who are for anal sex being okay are outnumbered by a good amount also on those who are against it. Now to the article from

    So the question is, is a woman’s anus designed for sexual intercourse with a man or in other words is sexual intercourse a natural use of the anus by a woman’s husband?

    The director of the Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University, Lauren F. Streicher, MD, made the following statements about anal intercourse in an article for

    ““Let’s face it, the anus was not made for intercourse. It’s supposed to be a one-way passage,” Dr. Streicher points out. The vagina, on the other hand, “has a thick, elastic, accordion-like lining designed to stretch to accommodate a penis, or a baby.”

    Rectal tissue is thinner and doesn’t share the same elasticity, so there’s a greater chance it can tear, says Dr. Streicher…”
    An article from on Anal Sex goes further into health risks and problems anal sex can lead to:

    “The anus lacks the natural lubrication the vagina has. Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. This can result in the spread of sexually transmitted infections including HIV. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure. Exposure to the human papillomavirus (HPV) may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help some, but doesn’t completely prevent tearing.

    The tissue inside the anus is not as well protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus does not have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.

    The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we defecate. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult. Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. However, Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it.

    The anus is full of bacteria. Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Practicing vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.”
    So medical professionals tell us that they can clearly see that a woman’s anus was not designed for penetration, i.e. penile intercourse. Unlike the much tougher linings of her mouth and her vagina, a woman’s anus has a very thin lining that is easily torn and can bleed and become infected. Over long lengths of time regular anal sex can stretch a woman’s anal sphincter and lead to an inability to hold one’s feces.

    Everything about the anus shows us that it is designed as an “exit only” orifice of the body. So is anal sex a natural use of a woman’s body by man? The answer from a biological perspective is no.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I can’t seem to find a site called – could you check the address as I’ve never seen such a claim.
      I’ve also seen many people make the claim that rectal tissue is thinner, but haven’t been able to find a source for it. Nor has anyone been able to provide one other than dogmatic statements like the one above.
      Yes, penetration can cause tears – whether it’s anal or vaginal. Without any quantification of the actual risk involved, this might as well just be fearmongering. How much higher is the risk? I can’t find a stat to show it’s any riskier outside of STDs, which again, I dismiss as a risk given the context. Yes, there are married couples with HIV, but they have a different risk profile completely which they’re aware of and outside of the scope of this discussion.
      And if you’re having painful and difficult anal sex – then you’re doing it wrong.
      These just sound like fearmongering reasons. Given that 36% of men and 44% of women aged 25-44 have had hetero anal sex (“Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse among Men and Women, 20 U.S. Cities“) – where is the epidemic of STDs, tears, infections, that would be expected given your warnings?

  36. Anonymous says:

    I have many good Christian friends who disagree with me on this topic of anal sex. One of them made the following statement to me regarding my opposition to anal sex on the principle that it violates God’s design and purpose for the anus:

    “God has designed many parts of the body with a primary function and many secondary as well. For instance, the mouth is used for many functions such as eating speaking, breathing etc. If I said that the mouth was designed for eating so you should not kiss with it, you would probably disagree. It is fallacious to say the anus was designed to eliminate waste so it can serve no other function. The very same argument of teleology or design was used by fundamentalists against oral sex just a couple of decades ago. We are not free to add to the law or assume the exhaustive purposes of God when He has not revealed such.”
    Yes some body parts have duel purposes – agreed. We can use our mouth to eat, to breathe, to kiss and to give sexual pleasure to our spouses. We can use our hands to hold things, to work, to paint, to play sports and to give our partners sexual pleasure.

    A man’s penis is used both to urinate and to give himself and his wife sexual pleasure. A woman’s vagina is used both to give her husband and herself sexual pleasure as well as bear children.

    I might agree with my Christian friend that the anus could have been designed by God with a dual purpose as a secondary way of giving a husband sexual pleasure IF these things were true of anal sex:

    The lining of the anus was as thick and tough as the skin in the mouth or the vagina.
    The anus had a natural expansion mechanism for things to enter it as the vagina and mouth do.
    The anus did not give off warning pains when it is penetrated each and every time.
    Switching between anal, oral and vaginal sex would not spread dangerous bacteria from the anus to the mouth and vagina.
    The practice of regular anal sex over many months or years did not have a strong possibility of causing issues with feces not be able to be held and other health injuries.

    I think that’s more support for anal sex as unnatural desire which God allows but does not support.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      The anus had a natural expansion mechanism for things to enter it as the vagina and mouth do.

      Of course it does – that’s how you defecate – the direction doesn’t matter. I’m assuming you’re unschooled in anal play so let me share something which might be new information to you so you can adjust your arguments to now look … well, like you have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know how to phrase that in a nicer way, sorry. When engaged in anal play, prior to penetration, if you simply get the person aroused, then start rubbing around the anus, then lightly pressing against it with the pad of a finger or thumb, sort of like ringing a doorbell, you’ll find that you get to a point where it opens up and feels like it sucks you in. At that point, it doesn’t hurt when penetrated, it feels really good. The idea that it doesn’t have a natural expansion mechanism is patently false. You make it sound like men are forcing themselves into their wife’s anus with no regard for her pleasure or pain. You must think all these men are sadists and their wives masochistic. That would explain your strong opinions though if you’ve demonized them to such a degree.

      The anus did not give off warning pains when it is penetrated each and every time.

      As above, I’m going to assume this is a statement made out of ignorance and not maliciousness as it’s simply false. If you follow the steps above, yes, with lube, there should be absolutely no pain, only pleasure. If there’s pain, you’re doing it wrong.

      The practice of regular anal sex over many months or years did not have a strong possibility of causing issues with feces not be able to be held and other health injuries.

      Do you have a statistic for this? What do you consider a “strong possibility”?

  37. Anonymous says:

    Jay dee this is the article I misread it’s not Bible sexology but biblical sexology.

    Were to go from here I didn’t say a male was forcing his way into a women’s anus I understand it can be calmed to let entry I know all the advice given for anal safety like lube and going slowly. The risks are still much greater for something to go wrong in anal sex vs vaginal. Even with all those precautions that I have mentioned in previous blogs when saying look at all you have to do to make anal sex even okay compared to pov sex ( to counter your comment of me being uneducated or lazy on this topic) its still much riskier then piv sex. Women’s health, men’s health, the cosmopolitan all websites that support hetero anal sex even post articles on the dangers of it. A 2016 study showed the risk of fecal leakage for a women engaging in Anal sex could go up by as much as 50%vs ladies who didn’t have anal sex, without even engaging in anal sex that much. It’s the most dangerous form of sex for ladies when it comes to stds, those are not my words but spoken from doctors.

    On the topic of lubricant for piv yes I acknowledge that some ladies need to for vaginal sex. There are conditions that ladies get that can cause that. That number is far lower then compared to anal hetero sex. The vagina has cells that make natural lube, the anus not so. The vagina stretches way more then the anus and has much thicker walls so tears don’t happen as easily as the anal area. I say this in support of the comments above that some people point out as the anus not being one of Gods designs for sex.

    For the topic of the anus and the similarities between a man and women and why if it’s okay for women to have sex there and not men, I don’t know what more evidence you’d need then God specifically saying homosexuality is not okay which is made clear in the old and New Testament. If a ladies anus is okay to explore in anal hetero sex because of the nerve endings it is like saying a guys would be also because there so similar, however God specifically says homosexuality is NOT okay.

    The numbers for men and women engaging in hetero anal sex may have gone up in the last decade I acknowledge that doesn’t mean the risk factors in it just go away.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      The risks are still much greater for something to go wrong in anal sex vs vaginal.

      The risks are also much greater to drive a car than go for a walk. Do you stand against driving cars for the same reason?

      I am surprised you used an article that suggests wives MUST have anal sex with their husband if he asks as proof of your argument though. He writes:

      However, if you are a Christian wife reading this, I am not your husband and therefore you must follow your husband’s interpretation and application of the Scriptures. Your husband might not see anal sex as a violation of the natural use of your body, and in the absense of a direct command prohibiting him from having anal intercourse with you he may require this of you. And you as his wife are to submit to his interpretation and application of the Scriptures. Therefore you are to submit to him having anal intercourse with you.

      That’s appalling that he would make the argument that anal sex is dangerous, sinful and states it’s always painful, and then tell wives they MUST engage in it if their husband wishes it. He condones the anal rape of women. I don’t see how you can use him as a Christian source. I personally wouldn’t consider that site or his other site to be good Christian resources. I find his views to be abusive and anything but Christian in their principles.

  38. Jade says:

    Ok, I have a few (late) thoughts. For one, if you claim that the rich nerve endings and proximity to both the prostate in males and clitoral legs in women are at the very least potential arguments FOR God designing the body for this purpose, then you open up another can of worms. You’re not against receptive anal play for men. Receptive anal play and sex for men is arguably MORE pleasurable than penetrating. In fact, the anal orgasms men experience are supposedly superior to regular penile ones. Did God plan this? He makes no mistakes right? This leads me to think that God’s prohibition on homosexuality is either fraudulent (as some bible scholars would argue), and that a man makes for a superior sexual partner. It stands to reason then that God in fact DID make a mistake, either by imbuing the anus and prostate for such pleasure, or by making women a man’s designated sexual complement. Two men, purely in terms of pleasure, can achieve far more of it and therefore greater sexual intimacy than a hetero pairing. The only use for a woman would be reproduction. That’s my first question. Why would God decide to restrict men to an inferior sexual partner when another man would have no doubt been better? He could have made reproduction possible another way.

    Second question, why do you use false equivalencies to make your points? Comparing anal play or sex to back massages or driving cars in intellectually and theologically dishonest. They are completely incomparabe in practically contexts. Then the bible makes a point of distinguishing sex as something significant-it is not benign the way those two examples are. As is comparing anal play and sex to oral sex when every single secular medical source will tell you this is not the case. All sex carries risks but anal sex is the riskiest simply because of the anatomy of the anus itself. The bacteria present in the rectum is not the same as the ones found in the mouth or vagina and the fact that so much prep and precautions (ranging from constant lube application to using a barrier for rimming) should at the very least make you pause and consider.

    As to the natural argument: if all third party apparatus were removed, anal play would be painful if not impossible. If God had put the nerve endings there for sexual stimulation, why was it not equipped with tissue that self cleans and self lubricates? Why did lube have to be manufactured by men? Why does it take “learning” to open up the anus enough for penetration? The “direction” of the opening does matter -the muscle that releases tension is literally on the inside lol. Lastly, using fringe examples of medical conditions to try and normalize anal play is pretty dishonest. You’re seriously conflating abnormal medical conditions that are ultimately statistically negligible with a FIXED, IMMUTABLE FUNCTION OF EXCRETION. Seriously, those arguments are weak.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Receptive anal play and sex for men is arguably MORE pleasurable than penetrating.

      Do you have a statistic to back this up? I have never heard any such claim before and your entire first argument seems to rest on it and the fact that you don’t believe God is infallible. In which case, we no longer have a common theology of even who God is and this discussion becomes moot, because, without the basic belief in God, sin is irrelevant.

      Second question, why do you use false equivalencies to make your points? Comparing anal play or sex to back massages or driving cars in intellectually and theologically dishonest. Comparing anal play or sex to back massages or driving cars in intellectually and theologically dishonest. They are completely incomparabe in practically contexts.

      Your argument was that if any part of the body does not self-lubricate, then it’s no longer permitted for pleasure – I showed that premise was wrong using back massages as an example. You claimed one should not do anything that has any risk – I argued then that no one should drive a car again, showing your premise to be incorrect. That’s not intellectually dishonest, that’s breaking down your argument into easy to disprove pieces. That’s how a rational argument works. If it fails basic logic – then it fails. You may not like it, but it’s not dishonest in any way. I clearly explained why I was using the argument and how it disproved yours. There’s no deception in there at all.

      All sex carries risks but anal sex is the riskiest simply because of the anatomy of the anus itself.

      I disagree, I would say that vaginal sex with an unknown partner carries far more risk than anal sex with a spouse. I welcome any stats that show me otherwise.

      The bacteria present in the rectum is not the same as the ones found in the mouth or vagina and the fact that so much prep and precautions (ranging from constant lube application to using a barrier for rimming) should at the very least make you pause and consider.

      You’re conflating the advice for one-night-stands with married sex. Most people I talk to don’t use barriers for anal play and I have never had anyone say they got sick from rimming. And what does “constant lube application” mean? I don’t think we add any more lube for vaginal sex than anal sex. I don’t have any stats on that from others either though.

      As to the natural argument: if all third party apparatus were removed, anal play would be painful if not impossible.

      A lot of people use saliva for lube, regardless of the activity, so, no, I don’t think that’s a true assertion of yours. Are other lubes better? Absolutely. Cars are better than feet, bread is better than wheat, coconut oil (natural I might add) is better than saliva for lube (whether it’s for massage, manual sex, vaginal sex or anal sex) – so is almond oil, which is also natural and created by God, not man. System Jo makes really good flavoured lube that tastes better than coconut oil and some of their hybrid lubes are very slick – too slick almost. So, yes, some manufactured lubes are certainly an improvement over saliva, but not a requirement, or even preferred to natural liquids in a lot of cases. We generally stick with coconut oil and almond oil for any sex-related activities ourselves other than oral sex (because – well, oral sex that tastes like Salted Caramel is fun sometimes).

      Why does it take “learning” to open up the anus enough for penetration?

      Probably because a lot of people like you keep fear-mongering so much that people struggle to relax. We see the same thing with vaginismus in people who have had “sex is sinful” taught to them. If you aren’t aware, vaginismus is a condition where the vaginal can’t relax enough to allow for vaginal penetration. It’s typically psychologically induced and affects many women. So, if they have take “learning” to open up the vagina enough for penetration, does your argument carry over? No, of course not – so, it’s not a good argument.

      Look, I have no doubt you believe you’re warning people away from something that’s going to land them in hell or a hospital. But, you clearly have no experience, only fear-mongering headlines from sensational media posts, and scare tactics from Sunday school backing you up – and it’s no wonder. If you’ve been indoctrinated to say this is going to harm you, why would you believe anything else, why would you check to see if your assumptions are correct if your anecdotal evidence actually matches real-life experiences? Confirmation bias is hard to get out of. But we’re all okay – really. We’re not going to hospitals in droves, we’re not becoming incontinent. We’re not having fissures, ruptures, tears or anything like that. We’re having really erotic, sexy, romantic and pleasurable experiences full of love and caring with our spouses. If you don’t want to do so with your spouse – that’s okay. But most of the stuff you’re saying – well, the phrase “talking out of your ass” would be a humourous way to put it, but I wouldn’t want it to be taken as an insult.

      Seriously, those arguments are weak.

      From my point of view – you haven’t yet shown an argument that holds up whereas I’ve refuted each of yours. I’m not trying to convince you – you’ve already decided what you’re going to believe, but if your goal was to convince me, you’ve not done a good job of it I’m afraid. More than welcome to let you try again if you come across a new argument though, so far they just seem to be the same repeating ones.

  39. Jade says:

    Do I believe God is inerrant? Yes. I do. And part of that belief is that if God ordained anal play or sex to be permissible, he wouldve endowed the body for it. He hasn’t. Stats? Here is a whole study where a man expounds receptive anal penetration as more pleasurable:

    Also, go on ANY blog or web article talking about receptive anal play for men. Hell, your OWN BLOG had comments by men talking about how superior of an experience it was to have something inserted up their rectum. Do you have any idea how it feels to read that as a woman? Penetration does not fall in a woman natural wheelhouse. But you get entire websites dedicated to talking about how that is the superior male pleasure.

    No, I did not say that any part of the body that does not self lubricate can’t be used for pleasure. You’re obfuscating my points. A back massage is in no way equivalent to anal sex or play. The risks involved are nowhere equivalent. A massage without oil will not tear up your back or somehow affect its function. To compare the two is to be incredibly and embarrassingly dishonest. There are primary reasons for rich nerve endings in both men and women when it comes to the anus. There is functionality. Pleasure is a secondary function that is only possible after the application of third party apparatus and/or lube. Think about it objectively. As a Christian, pleasure cannot be your go-to or primary measure of whether something is okay or not.

    We’re not talking about vaginal sex with an unknown partner but nice bait and switch. Anal sex even within the confines of a committed and monogamous relationship is more risky. Some links:

    “Anal sex is the practice of inserting the penis, fingers, or a foreign object such as a vibrator into the anus for sexual pleasure. With the appropriate precautions, anal sex is mostly safe.

    However, there are different potential risks that may not be present in vaginal or oral sex. For example, the anus cannot naturally lubricate itself to reduce discomfort and friction-related concerns, such as skin injuries.

    This article will discuss some of the potential risks of anal sex as well as dispel some myths related to the practice.

    Increased risk of bacterial infection

    The anus lacks the cells that create the natural lubricant the vagina has. It also does not have the saliva of the mouth. The rectum’s lining is also thinner than that of the vagina.

    Lack of lubrication and thinner tissues increase the risk of friction-related tears in the anus and rectum. Some of these tears may be very small, but they still expose the skin.

    Because stool that naturally contains bacteria passes through the rectum and anus when leaving the body, the bacteria can potentially invade the skin through these tears.

    This increases the risk of anal abscesses, a deep skin infection that usually requires treatment with antibiotics.

    Increased risk of STIs
    Because anal sex can lead to bacterial infections in the ways we mention above, it can also increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). For example, because the skin is more likely to tear during anal sex than during vaginal sex, there is greater opportunity to spread STIs.

    Examples of these include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, HIV, and herpes. These can be long-term conditions, as many STIs do not have a cure.

    According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)Trusted Source, “anal sex is the highest-risk sexual behavior for HIV transmission” in comparison with other forms of sex, such as vaginal or oral sex.

    In receptive anal sex, or bottoming, HIV is 13 times more likely to infect the bottom partner than the insertive partner.”

    “The lining of the anus is thinner than the vagina, and it lacks natural lubrication. That makes it much more vulnerable to tearing. Tears can allow viruses and bacteria to enter the bloodstream. This can include sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure. Anal intercourse can also boost the risk of getting the human papillomavirus (HPV). HPV may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help, but it doesn’t completely prevent tearing.
    The tissue inside the anus is not as well-protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus doesn’t have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.
    The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we have a bowel movement. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult. Repetitive anal sex may weaken the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it.
    The anus is full of bacteria. Bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.”

    But yes, it holds the exact same risks as vaginal or oral.

    I am not “conflating the advice for one-night-stands with married sex”. I am speaking from experience of having gay male friends whose advice ALWAYS extended to constant lubrication. The vagina is naturally self-lubricating. Most cases where artificial lubes has to be used is due to physiological issues. You dont need stats to recognize how biology works.

    Vaginismus is a condition that is not the normal response to sexual stimulation. Is the normal response of the anus to self dilate and lubricate with arousal? You call it fear mongering but I call it excuses for men to indulge homosexual fantasies they try to keep within godly boundaries. Are you seriously that desperate for validation of your own predilections that you would conflate psychological issues that stump natural female arousal with prepping for anal sex? You can call playing in the waste dump erotic and sexy . . . I’ve come to accept that the majority of men seem to be into gay-adjascent activites which might be why at 23 I would rather not get married. It has nothing to do with repression or bondage but everything to do with not finding anything sexy about the rectum. People have been giving links but all you seem cocerned about is the pleasure aspect. Perfect godly paradigm for sexuality. Because of course, the anus is superior to any pleasure the vagina could provide.

    1. Artie Whitefox says:

      Gays being Sodomites is a lie. Anything aimed at them will be a lie. Jesus does not think aim.

  40. Mk says:

    Surprised I used a article that says wives must submit to anal sex. Did I ever say I agreed with that jay dee no I didn’t, I actually posted two or more rebuttals against that which haven’t been posted. I was referring to the part of the article on were the dangers were highlighted and proven medically. Why whoever published that article insisted that a wife must submit to their husbands desires in that form of sex is totally wrong in every way I’ll admit a bit odd but that doesn’t mean I was supporting that claim. if you are two love your wife as your flesh engaging in this form of sex doesn’t seem to follow that instruction especially when you have much greater chances of putting her at risk of ongoing/permanent fecal leakage, greater chance at std’s, rectal tearing, nerve damage doesn’t sound like loving your wife as Christ loved the church or loving her as your flesh.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I agree, if the risks were anything close to what you’re claiming, it wouldn’t be. But they’re not. If you have something new to add, I’m all ears, but it sounds like we’re just rehashing the same disagreement over and over again. I’m uninterested in changing your mind – you’re welcome never to engage in anal sex, it won’t bother me at all. But you’re also not making any headway in changing mine, particularly since you have no personal experience and so are speaking out of ignorance and fear. We can let the other readers decide for themselves.

      1. Artie Whitefox says:

        Sodomites are not like Jesus. A condeming person, or a judge in court are not like, Jesus thus will be like a Sodomite. It is simple.

        1. Jay Dee says:

          I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.

  41. Artie Whitefox says:

    No It is a sin to grieve the Loving Jesus out of your mind. Jesus will not meditate on this subject. Jesus will not talk about this subject. Sodomites who want to have an excuse to kill will meditate on this subject. Christs enemies used excuses as to why killing was good. A blaspheming spirit was in them. This one came in to sojourn and he needs be a judge. Many called for one to judge the two beings in Lots house. It is an incredible warping of scripture to make judging, to be sex. A lot of warping is done to make vex to be anal sex. 2 Peter 2:7 – 8. A lot of warping was done to make know them, to be sex, too. Sodomites did not know them. That is why one was sent to find out. It was not to judge in the manner that Jesus judges. Jesus will not try to bash your door down.

  42. Anonymous says:

    What solid evidence do you have that the risks of anal sex are not what’s claimed respite several medical articles claiming they are ? I’m only going by what science says. I’m going by what three articles on major sites said about a large study and anal sex and how it causes at minimum close to 40% fecal leakage and other side effects. I understand there’s differing opinions on this topic and I try to be respectful to opposing views and disagree respectfully to other opinions unlike like you and your constant negative remarks to a lot of opposing views implying things such as. Clearly you don’t know what your talking about, your uneducated on this topic, you don’t have a leg to stand on, I’ve debunked all your claims (only in your mind of you always being rite and others wrong.) when I made my first post on this site I made clear I was not insulting anyone’s views opposing mine or trying to force my opinions and you reply with all the negative comments you have even after I said I hope we can agree to disagree respectfully jay dee. I must say for your I’m uninterested in hearing your remarks comment,too bad when you make insulting comments to someone giving their honest opinion and say things like that your gonna get backlash.

    Keep hyping up a form of sex thats the highest in spreading aids, causing tears because it’s in an area of the body much thinner then the vaginal tissue, doesn’t have natural lubricant ( please spare me your remarks on lubricant being needed in vaginal inter course, yes there’s a smaller number of ladies who need it because of medical reasons causing vaginal problems but that does not make it equal to the anal area we’re lubricant is always needed) doctor supported articles of causing possibly anal cancer (not saying it happens to everyone but it happens) and sphincter damage leading to fecal leakage supported by many health experts over the years, which can need surgery to fix or in extreme cases be permanent) I don’t hear about problems to that degree in vaginal inter course, though I acknowledge yes problems do occur but not to that level. For a comment you made a while ago to argue against married couples not being okay to have anal sex despite it being homo sexual life style, that it was okay because homo sexual relationships has other similarities such as kissing and coudling that married couples do. Yes obviously straight and homo sexual married couples do that but that’s not anywhere near as intense as anal inter course. Lastly a while ago I made a comment to go against your and others opinions on the anal area being okay for sex because of its high amount of nerves. My counter was those nerves were not for sexual pleasure but bodily function because nerves and muscles work together for muscle function in this cause to help the rectum and anal area hold and release stool movements. Look what happens when the nerves are damaged by anal inter course, fecal leakage from damaged nerves impairing the muscles to control stool movements you claim doesn’t happen despite there being several articles for years supporting it. I don’t need to post that it can easily be looked up. You acknowledge that but yet in a later discussion long after ours about that, a lady made a comment that you were still using the nerves in the anus to back up for claim for anal inter course being okay.

    You don’t have to worry about me saying much more I have no interest in having a ongoing chats with anyone as disrespectful as you are to other people’s opinions on this topic and who always is rite well others are wrong. I’m sure you’ll yet again attack and criticize how my points of view (which line up with others opinions on this discussion ) are uneducated and wrong, or something likely that, I don’t really care.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      What solid evidence do I have? I don’t have any other than interactions with thousands of couples and no one has EVER mentioned this being an issue. But, it’s hard to prove a thing that doesn’t exist. But you don’t have solid evidence either. You have a single study, that has never been replicated, and all the sites grabbed an eye-catching headline. You aren’t following “the science” – you’re following the media. A single study is not near enough to conclude anything. It merely shows an area for which more study is needed. Many first studies are later disproven by subsequent studies, or another variable is shown which invalidates or otherwise frames the conclusions.

      A few years ago there was a study that noted that women who wore socks had more orgasms. You know what the headlines were from the study? Wear socks to have more orgasms. Do socks cause orgasms? Nope. But, if you’re in a cold lab, wearing socks warms you up and makes you feel more comfortable. The lesson should have been that being warm leads to more orgasms, but instead they went with “wear socks”. I even have a pair of “orgasm socks” that a company sent me.

      In short – the science isn’t done and you shouldn’t rely on a single study to prove a point.

      The study you mentioned also missed a lot of what I would consider being key factors:
      1) Relationship status
      2) Frequency of anal sex
      3) Nature of anal sex (rough, gentle, etc.) / relationship
      4) Number of partners (they only asked the men that question)

      They also didn’t give any data showing if there was a relationship between pregnancies/birthing and FI (Fecal Incontinence) which I would say is a huge question, because pregnancy can cause fecal incontinence (so, arguably, vaginal sex leads to fecal incontinence – you might want to avoid vaginal sex if you’re worried about it – here’s the study:

      As well, in their discussion in the study publication itself, they say “When using cross-sectional data sets, such as NHANES, we are not able to prove causality between the outcome of interest (FI) and the exposure variables.”

      So, no, I would not say “the science” is settled. Firstly, science can’t be settled – that’s the point of science – to question everything and continue questioning it as new data emerges. But also your source is so far still weak – this is why most of the articles say it “MAY” contribute – because they know it’s not settled.

  43. Anonymous says:

    Jay dee it’s me your favorite person to talk to on this website on this issue of sex. You said a while ago if any of the claims I made on anal sex were true it would be a concern, implying what I said on the dangers of anal sex were not supported, I’m respectfully going to make some final posts on my position and if you or anyone wants to disagree go ahead. Btw jay dee we’ve had heated exchanges in the past I think your responses to peoples opinions on this topic opposite of your can be out out of line and offensive, I will say I’m sorry if I said anything out of line back in frustration to that and that I respect your willingness to help married couples have a successful marriage in an age we’re divorce rates are very high.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I’m sorry, I don’t actually recall any prior interactions with you and I’m sorry you felt offended by our interactions, but without any specifics, or memory of the interaction, I don’t think there’s much I can do about that. But, rest assured, I clearly wasn’t bothered by anything you said enough to remember it.

      As for the article you linked to, well, this is clearly a guy with a very biased view. His arguments hold no water. A quick run-through would be:
      1) The studies he links to are about STDs – so, then if you have no STDs, they don’t apply.
      2) The increased risk from Salmonella, E.Coli, etc. are far reduced in a marriage as you tend to share a lot of the same gut flora with a spouse.
      3) Romans 1:26-27 and Leviticus 18:21-23 are clearly about homosexuality, not heterosexual relations.
      4) The stretching issue – I’d say there are far more people who don’t eat enough fibre and are having larger bowel movements than the size of a penis, and they’re not having “many accidents”.
      5) He thinks it’s only from porn – I have a survey saying otherwise. Plus, you could make that argument about anything, because almost all men have seen porn at some point. Kissing – careful, that’s in porn. Doggy style – porn. Oral sex – porn. Doing laundry – porn. What dismantles this argument is all the wives who haven’t seen porn that ask their husbands to try anal sex because they’re curious.
      6) The idea that nearly everyone engaging in anal sex has had homosexual relationships in the past is ludicrous.
      7) He makes the assumption that every woman who engaged in anal sex experiences feeling violated, pain, disgust, or nausea. That’s not true at all. A lot of women really like it, have orgasms from it, experience no pain etc. In fact, I say often – if you experience these things – you’re doing it wrong.

      There’s more, but those are the major points.

      So, you have a guy with a lot of opinions, flawed logic and no experience telling everyone what reality is. No thanks. This is probably why his blog didn’t survive more than a couple of years.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Does anal sex increase risk of anal cancer?
    People who have anal intercourse may have an increased risk of anal cancer. This could be due to the increased risk of HPV infection. Using condoms every time you have sex can lower your chances of getting HPV. But HPV can infect areas that are not covered by a condom so they don’t reduce the risk completely.Jan 24, 2020

    Risks and causes | Anal cancer › about-cancer › risk…
    Why does anal sex cause anal cancer?
    Anal cancer is closely related to a sexually transmitted infection called human papillomavirus (HPV). Evidence of HPV is detected in the majority of anal cancers. HPV is thought to be the most common cause of anal cancers.

    That’s everything I’ll post from sources I’ve looked up. Everything aside jay dee I wish you, your wife and kids well and congratulate you on overcoming your difficulties in marriage to be were you two are at today successfully.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      So, having anal sex with multiple partners and getting HPV can cause cancer. I would imagine that holds true for PIV sex as well. But it’s not really applicable to the discussion we’re having.

  45. BW says:

    Even women nowadays are going for their own sex. Go figure.

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