I received this question last night, through our Have A Question page and even though I’ve answered it on other posts, I have no way of letting the asker know, other than writing a short post specifically about their question. Plus, I thought I might be able to add a little extra encouragement for this one person, and perhaps others.
If masturbation is sinful, how can I ever experience sexual release if I have only climaxed two times during sexual intercourse in the past five years of marriage?
I’ve often asserted on this blog that I believe solo masturbation to be sinful (See this post, and this one, and this one, and finally this one, for more information). So, what do you do if you can’t climax during sex? While I believe solo masturbation is sinful, I have also mentioned that I believe that mutual masturbation is not. So, if you can’t orgasm from sex, I see no issue with you achieving climax, by your own hands even, with your spouse, even better, let him participate. He can touch, kiss, squeeze, pinch, whatever you like, to help you “get there”. Just because he has had an orgasm and is “out of commission” for a bit, doesn’t make him useless.
Another option would be to include sex toys into your intercourse time. Depending on the position, you can sometimes fit a vibrator between you, and in the case of something like a We-Vibe, which is designed for couples, you don’t even have to hold it in place. This can help assist you in achieving orgasm during sex, if that’s something you desire.
Lastly, just because you have difficulty, or even find it impossible, to reach orgasm during sex at this point in your marriage, that doesn’t mean it will always be so. Orgasm patterns change based on a great many factors: relationship, experience, hormones, season of life, fitness, water intake, how recent you last exercised, what you’ve eaten lately, and many more. Don’t give up hope.
Your Turn
What would you say to someone who asked this question?