Join an anonymous sex positive Christian forum

Our Instagram Feed (with links)

The problem with Instagram is that links don’t work! So here is our Instagram feed with the links intact. If you’re looking for it, our Instagram page is here.

This Saturday, we're running a free webinar for wives who want to learn to be more sexually engaged.  If you've ever said the phrase "I want to want to..." or something similar, this is the webinar for you!  Checkout www.uncoveringintimacy.com/webinar for more info.

This Saturday, we're running a free webinar for wives who want to learn to be more sexually engaged. If you've ever said the phrase "I want to want to..." or something similar, this is the webinar for you!

Checkout www.uncoveringintimacy.com/webinar for more info.
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6 0
Someone asked this in our forum yesterday when we were discussing a particularly difficult question that came in.  This came to mind and I was feeling creative, so I thought I'd post it just to try and lighten the mood a bit.  But, I think it's also true.

Someone asked this in our forum yesterday when we were discussing a particularly difficult question that came in. This came to mind and I was feeling creative, so I thought I'd post it just to try and lighten the mood a bit.

But, I think it's also true.
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16 0
One of our supporters said something like this today in our forum.  I thought it was on point and asked if I could share it.  In many (most?) of the couples I coach, one of the core issues is that they make assumptions about what the other is thinking, feeling, and the reasons are for their behaviours.  So, they get mad at the assumptions rather than taking the effort to get to know their spouse.  When both spouse do this, they think they're angry at each other, but really they're angry with the fabricated couple they've made up with their assumptions.  They don't actually know each other.  They just know their own assumptions.  So, in a sense, they're angry at themselves - they just don't know it.  I tell almost every one of them to:
1) Remember your spouse loves you
2) When they do something that you think isn't loving - assume they were trying to love you and missed.
3) Ask them why they did what they did so that you can understand what they were trying to do (not in a "what were you thinking?!" sort of way)  Then you can have a conversation about the behaviour and what would have been more effective.

One of our supporters said something like this today in our forum. I thought it was on point and asked if I could share it.

In many (most?) of the couples I coach, one of the core issues is that they make assumptions about what the other is thinking, feeling, and the reasons are for their behaviours.

So, they get mad at the assumptions rather than taking the effort to get to know their spouse. When both spouse do this, they think they're angry at each other, but really they're angry with the fabricated couple they've made up with their assumptions. They don't actually know each other. They just know their own assumptions. So, in a sense, they're angry at themselves - they just don't know it.

I tell almost every one of them to:
1) Remember your spouse loves you
2) When they do something that you think isn't loving - assume they were trying to love you and missed.
3) Ask them why they did what they did so that you can understand what they were trying to do (not in a "what were you thinking?!" sort of way)

Then you can have a conversation about the behaviour and what would have been more effective.
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46 1
This Saturday, we're running a free webinar for wives who want to learn to be more sexually engaged.  If you've ever said the phrase "I want to want to..." or something similar, this is the webinar for you!  Checkout www.uncoveringintimacy.com/webinar for more info.

This Saturday, we're running a free webinar for wives who want to learn to be more sexually engaged. If you've ever said the phrase "I want to want to..." or something similar, this is the webinar for you!

Checkout www.uncoveringintimacy.com/webinar for more info.
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14 0
Have you talked about what you want to change in the new year?  What you'd like to improve?  I'd love to hear what people are focusing on in 2022.

Have you talked about what you want to change in the new year? What you'd like to improve? I'd love to hear what people are focusing on in 2022. ...

4 5
This takes alot of communication, but is so worth it.

This takes alot of communication, but is so worth it. ...

19 0
This felt like a good one for today.  I don't know about you, but we still have presents to wrap, kids who are excited (which also means sometimes misbehaving), and then all the covid stress (either from covid, or mandates, or family dynamics because of either) - well, there's enough going on that a massage sounds good right about now.

This felt like a good one for today. I don't know about you, but we still have presents to wrap, kids who are excited (which also means sometimes misbehaving), and then all the covid stress (either from covid, or mandates, or family dynamics because of either) - well, there's enough going on that a massage sounds good right about now. ...

13 0
This one made me smile as I was going through the deck because my wife has been using the Christmas break to try and get used to sleeping naked.

This one made me smile as I was going through the deck because my wife has been using the Christmas break to try and get used to sleeping naked. ...

12 6
Completely forgot to post earlier, so to make up for it, I picked an adventurous card.  Enjoy!

Completely forgot to post earlier, so to make up for it, I picked an adventurous card. Enjoy! ...

14 0
Alright, hands up - who likes to have their head massaged / hair played with / hair brushed?

Alright, hands up - who likes to have their head massaged / hair played with / hair brushed? ...

13 1
I love waking up to reviews like this.  If you still want to grab the Intimacy Advent Calendar, it's not too late.  You still have 5 days to enjoy it this year or keep it as a surprise until next year (I send out email reminders so you won't forget).  https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/advent

I love waking up to reviews like this. If you still want to grab the Intimacy Advent Calendar, it's not too late. You still have 5 days to enjoy it this year or keep it as a surprise until next year (I send out email reminders so you won't forget).

https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/advent
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7 0
This is a fun card if you like to play with power exchange.  I think it's actually harder in a lot of cases for the dominant spouse, because it's their responsibility to pick things that are fun for both, don't push limits too far, but far enough to make it exciting.  It's a hard balance to achieve.

This is a fun card if you like to play with power exchange. I think it's actually harder in a lot of cases for the dominant spouse, because it's their responsibility to pick things that are fun for both, don't push limits too far, but far enough to make it exciting. It's a hard balance to achieve. ...

11 0
If you participated in yesterday's card. Your spouse might be a little tired.  Give them a break today and let them catch up on some sleep.

If you participated in yesterday's card. Your spouse might be a little tired. Give them a break today and let them catch up on some sleep. ...

20 0
I find this is a good one for Friday nights, especially if you have nothing going on the next day and can sleep in.

I find this is a good one for Friday nights, especially if you have nothing going on the next day and can sleep in. ...

24 0
New Podcast Episode/Blog Post! - Got a great question last month about feeling naughty and decided to make a separate blog post and podcast about it.  Here's the question:  Hi Jay,  Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work!  https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/swm-083-what-is-feeling-naughty/

New Podcast Episode/Blog Post! - Got a great question last month about feeling naughty and decided to make a separate blog post and podcast about it.

Here's the question:

Hi Jay,

Just a general question, what is the feeling of “feeling naughty”? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply “different” as “naughty” as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking – my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed “It feels so naughty!”…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of “fun” whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work!

https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/swm-083-what-is-feeling-naughty/
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25 15
We do this about once a week.  Actually, she reads and I sit behind her and massage her neck and shoulders.  Right now, were working our way through Married Sex by @garythomasbooks and @debrafileta.  So far we're loving it.  Will have a review out as soon as we're done.  It's a bit slow going because after a chapter, we're ready to put the book down and get into some "practical application".

We do this about once a week. Actually, she reads and I sit behind her and massage her neck and shoulders.

Right now, were working our way through Married Sex by @garythomasbooks and @debrafileta. So far we're loving it. Will have a review out as soon as we're done.

It's a bit slow going because after a chapter, we're ready to put the book down and get into some "practical application".
...

15 1
The vote was for something maybe a little more adventurous than just "sexy", so I thought this fit the bill.  What do you think?  Tag your spouse if it's something you'd like to do.

The vote was for something maybe a little more adventurous than just "sexy", so I thought this fit the bill. What do you think? Tag your spouse if it's something you'd like to do. ...

24 0
For some people this isn't a big deal. But for others this is a massive step.

For some people this isn't a big deal. But for others this is a massive step. ...

14 0
Alright, let's slow things down a bit after a fun weekend.  Comment below, is this a card you'd like to get on a Monday?

Alright, let's slow things down a bit after a fun weekend. Comment below, is this a card you'd like to get on a Monday? ...

11 0
Alright, we're going for something more adventurous to end the weekend and get you ready to start the work week again.  This one can be a lot of fun, but it takes good communication and paying attention. But, with some practice, you can keep your spouse on the edge for hours until almost any touch will set them off.

Alright, we're going for something more adventurous to end the weekend and get you ready to start the work week again.

This one can be a lot of fun, but it takes good communication and paying attention. But, with some practice, you can keep your spouse on the edge for hours until almost any touch will set them off.
...

18 3