Build the Marriage You Know Is Possible
Most couples do not wake up wanting a divorce.
They wake up into lives too busy to focus on the marriage, tired of having fights, or feeling disconnected and just trying to get through another day.
Maybe things are mostly fine, but something feels off. The conversations feel flatter. The intimacy is less frequent or less connected. The same small issues keep coming up, and you can sense that if nothing changes, this is just where your marriage will stay.
Coaching is not just for marriages in crisis. It is for couples who want to be intentional, grow closer, and build a marriage that gets better with time instead of slowly drifting.
For couples who want better for themselves and each other
The Two Roads Many Couples Face
Most couples find themselves on one of these paths at some point. Some arrive here in pain. Others arrive here simply because life got busy and connection slipped.
The Fighting Road
You and your spouse fight often. Maybe it’s shouting matches, maybe it’s cold silences, but either way you feel stuck in the same arguments that never seem to end. You try to explain your side, they try to explain theirs, but nothing gets resolved and the walls between you just get taller. Even small disagreements spiral into bigger battles, and afterwards you’re left feeling drained, misunderstood, and more distant than ever.
Sometimes, “divorce” has even been mentioned – whether in anger or fear. And while that word might hang in the air, what you really want isn’t to end things. You want the fighting to stop. You want to feel safe with each other again, to be able to talk without it turning into a war, to trust that you’re on the same team instead of opposing sides. Deep down, you long for a marriage where conflict doesn’t destroy connection but actually leads to deeper understanding and closeness.
The Fading Road
You don’t really fight, but the spark has slipped away. You share the same house, maybe even raise kids together, but it feels more like you’re running a household than sharing a marriage. Conversations revolve around schedules, bills, and logistics. The laughter is rare, the affection is minimal, and intimacy feels like a memory from another lifetime.
On the outside, everything looks fine – you’re not fighting, you’re still together – but on the inside, you feel lonely. You wonder if this is all marriage will ever be: quiet co-existence without real connection. Sometimes you look at other couples and ache, remembering what it felt like to be in love, to feel wanted, to feel alive together. What you long for is a marriage that feels passionate and playful again, where you don’t just survive side by side but thrive as partners and lovers.
If you see yourself in either of these roads, you’re not alone – and it doesn’t have to stay this way. We’ve helped many couples rebuild their connection, reignite intimacy, and discover joy again. There is hope, and it starts with taking the first step.
The Real Cost Of Doing Nothing
Doing nothing has a cost, even when things are not “that bad.” Over time, small disagreements turn into resentment. Intimacy fades. What once felt natural starts to feel awkward or forced.
For some couples, this slow drift deepens and becomes much harder to reverse. If you find yourself dismissing your spouse’s comments, rolling your eyes, or generally discounting what they say, or if you feel your spouse is doing these things to you, you may already be further down this path than you realize.
Left unaddressed, this drift can eventually lead to separation or divorce, which is financially and emotionally costly.
Divorce in the U.S. costs $15,000 – $30,0000 on average – not counting years of stress, broken trust, baggage brought into the next marriage, the effect on your children (if you have them), friends, church and community.
Or, you could end up in a loveless, “roommate” marriage, staying together for the kids, to keep up appearances, or just to avoid the costly separation. This costs in other ways – loneliness, loss of intimacy, and possibly kids growing up without seeing what love should look like.
People in struggling marriages also tend to suffer from increased mental load, poor sleep, low energy, reduced focus, stalled personal growth and more.
Coaching helps many couples long before it ever reaches this point.
Instead of paying lawyers or living like strangers, you can invest in your marriage and still have money left over for a vacation to celebrate the renewed energy and love in your relationship.
You Do Not Have to Be in Crisis to Start Coaching
Many of the couples I work with are not on the brink of divorce.
They care about each other. They function well as parents and partners. From the outside, things look fine.
What they want is deeper connection, better communication, and a marriage that feels alive again. Coaching helps you strengthen what is already there, by building new habits and patterns to give your marriage momentum to improve rather than drift apart.
Why Couples Choose Coaching
Clarity
Finally see what’s really going on beneath the surface. We’ll uncover the hidden patterns, fears, and habits that keep you stuck, so you can understand not just what you’re fighting about, but why it keeps happening.
Action
No more vague advice like “just communicate better.” Every session ends with clear, practical steps designed for your marriage, so you can start building change the very same day.
Support
You don’t have to walk this road alone. I’ll be in your corner, guiding you and encouraging you – not shaming you or telling you to simply “try harder.” Real support means having someone who believes in your marriage as much as you do.
Results
Imagine trust rebuilt, conversations that don’t explode, and intimacy that feels exciting again. Coaching isn’t just about solving problems – it’s about creating a marriage that’s stronger, deeper, and more joyful than you’ve ever had before.
Who This Is For
Coaching is for couples who want peace, passion, and connection again – and are willing to work for it.
- Couples tired of constant fights and ready for peace.
- Couples who feel bored, disconnected, or like roommates.
- Anyone who wants to rebuild trust, intimacy, and joy.
- Husbands or wives willing to take action – even if their spouse isn’t ready yet.
- Couples who want to break free from repeating the same arguments.
- Those who feel like the spark is gone and wonder if love can come back.
- Anyone afraid of drifting so far apart that “divorce” feels like the only option.
- Couples of faith who want a Christ-centered marriage that actually thrives.
- People who don’t just want to avoid divorce, but want a marriage worth celebrating.
The truth is, no marriage is too far gone for change. With the right guidance, couples who once felt hopeless have found new trust, fresh intimacy, and a renewed sense of purpose together. Imagine looking back a year from now and realizing this was the turning point. Coaching isn’t just about avoiding pain – it’s about reclaiming joy, love, and a future you’re excited to share. Every step you take is a step toward hope.
How much is coaching?
Coaching only works when it represents a real investment. If the cost is too low, it’s easy to disengage and treat the process casually. Pricing is proportional to household income so the investment carries meaningful weight for every couple, regardless of what they earn.
Higher-income households often face greater complexity and higher stakes, while lower-income households face different pressures and constraints. Proportional pricing helps account for those differences without turning coaching into a flat, one-size-fits-all fee.
All amounts are in USD
If this pricing still doesn’t feel workable for your current season, please reach out with the amount you believe you can manage. We can talk it through and see if it makes sense for both of us. I want you to get the help you need without adding unnecessary financial strain.
Real Stories, Real Results
These couples once felt stuck, hopeless, even ready to give up. But with coaching, they discovered that healing and joy were still possible. Their stories prove there is always hope.
The great thing about Jay is that
- He’s great at what he does and has a lot of experience. He’s a good and observant listener and can quickly find an accurate remedy with you. We had tried local therapy and coaching before, which helped, but didn’t feel sufficient. With Jay, we quickly improved to a stable, happy state that we had struggled to reach.
- He provides an experienced and thorough Christian perspective that marriage therapists/coaches in your area might lack.
- He’s available over video calls and e-mail. Forget the hassle of travel planning and who’s going to take care of the kids.
- My wife, who doesn’t speak English that often, was comfortable that she’d be heard and understood.
We’re grateful that Jay and this ministry is around!
– Karl
My wife and I found Jay Dee’s podcast in 2019. We thought we had a solid marriage until the cracks were revealed by my use of pornography and mood swings that were made worse working as a nurse in a pandemic. After a few years of struggling we decided to book an appointment with JD. He was a great resource in talking us through traumas and helping us understand ourselves and each other. We’ve made major changes in our relationship that have only helped to improve our communication, intimacy and my pornography compulsion. JD was a life raft for our floundering ship. We had been married for 12 years with 2 young children at the time and had no idea how strained our marriage had actually gotten. My wife and I highly recommend JD and his Christian-centered coaching services. If we were to tell our younger selves one word of advise, it would be to invest in coaching early when the thought first comes to mind. It might seem like a high cost but it has an even higher yield of return. Thanks Jay Dee for your invaluable ministry!
– Dan
My wife and I did not talk about sex for 25 years. We each thought the other did not want to engage sexually when we both did. For some reason I was so fearful to talk to my wife about sex. I guess I thought the situation could get worse. We had not had sex for decades, so I don’t know how it could get any worse, but that was my thinking at the time. I was encouraged by Jay to tell my wife that I missed having sex with her. It was like a dam broke. My wife wanted sex too, but thought I did not. Now we engage sexually almost every day, and we can talk about anything, especially sex.
Thank you Jay Dee. I can’t thank you enough for your help in this area of our lives.
Mike, age 71
I can honestly say I learnt more from one coaching session than in numerous sex therapy sessions.
– Stephen
Do Not Settle for “Good Enough” When More Is Possible
You don’t have to fight forever. You don’t have to settle for dull and distant.
Book your free discovery call. Get clarify, direction and one meaningful step.
No matter how broken or distant things feel today, or how many therapists and counselors you’ve seen, there is always a way forward. Hope is real, and your marriage can thrive again.