Your friends are fake

Jay Dee

Your friends are fake

Jun 08, 2016

It’s true.  We live in a world full of fake people.  We watch them, we compare ourselves to them, we judge ourselves by their standard.  But they’re all fake.  I’m talking about our social media friends.  Our social networks of fans, followers and peeps. We

Your Friends Are FakeIt’s true.  We live in a world full of fake people.  We watch them, we compare ourselves to them, we judge ourselves by their standard.  But they’re all fake.  I’m talking about our social media friends.  Our social networks of fans, followers and peeps.

We can sit on Facebook all day long and watch what’s happening in our friends fake lives.  Watch as they share pictures, as they post inspiring comments, as they repin happy memories.  As they share the highlight real of their life, their marriage, their kid’s achievements.

It can make you really depressed.  Why?  Because we get the feeling like we’re being left in the dust.  That our lives are messy while theirs are picture perfect.


But, generally, we only see the good.  The “social media” approved updates.  We don’t hear when their kids fail an exam.  We don’t hear when their spouse gets caught watching porn.  We don’t hear when they haven’t done devotions for a year, or a decade.  We don’t hear when they’re having a fight.  We just get the nice, whitewashed version of their life.

It’s not that they’re lying to us, it’s that we lie to ourselves.  We know that “you don’t air your dirty laundry in public”, but then we ignore that other people are living by the same guidelines.  So, we look at these perfect families and marriages and think “I wish I had their life” while at the same time, they’re looking at yours, probably thinking the same.

Now the answer is not to run to Facebook the next time your spouse rejects you for sex and post “Turned down for sex again, I feel emasculated.”, or to instagram a picture of your wife caught watch porn, but I do think sometimes it’s appropriate to let people know that life is not perfect.  Because it’s not, and it shouldn’t be, this side of Christ’s second coming.  We know were living in enemy territory, in the middle of a spiritual warzone.  But, most of us want to believe that it’s okay.  Most of want to just accept being a prisoner of war, so we can enjoy our imprisonment in comfort.  Because challenging the enemy, resisting enslavement, it’s gets you beat up, at best.  But accepting imprisonment means we can almost forget we’re enslaved.  We can go about our normal lives, pretending everything is OK.  And so, we spread the propaganda that life here is pretty good, almost perfect.  Even while posting memes about Christianity, we share that we don’t really need Christ, because we have this figured out.

So, let’s share some of our struggles.  It doesn’t need to be detailed.  We don’t need to shame our kids, spouses or family members.  But we should be real, and authentic.  I’ve done my best to share some of our struggles on the blog.  If I didn’t, I think many people would think “oh, they have a perfect marriage”.  We don’t.  We struggle.  We argue.  We’re much better than we used to be, but we haven’t achieved perfection, or even close.

Also we should recognize that no one has a perfect life, a perfect marriage, a perfect family.  When we see them in Facebook, we need to realize that it’s a “fake” person.  A social media mask.  Not an authentic representation.  Certainly not one we should be comparing ourselves to.  Don’t accept the propaganda.  Let’s start being socially authentic.  

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8 thoughts on “Your friends are fake”

  1. Joe says:

    I really needed this right now. Thanks. And thank you for sharing your challenges and hiccups in marriage, parenting & life. So very helpful in sharpening & encouraging us all. Bless you!

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I’m glad it helped someone. Thanks for encouraging us back!

  2. crystal says:

    I am not on Facebook because it seems to cause alot of unnecessary drama. But I will admit my flaws, I get angry very easy so I’m trying to work on it. But unfortunately my kids get that bad side of me. I’m working on it because I want to change the cycle. I also have put insecurities on my husband because I didn’t know how to fix them thank God for my husband being the man he is because God has truly blessed him with grace to be patient with me.

  3. Mike says:

    Well Jay, I am the perfect one, it is my wife who has all the faults. It is because of her that I get angry. She is the one who doesn’t pick up my socks. If she would wash the car and do the lawn more, then we would have a much happier marriage. Our marriage could be perfect if she would just step the sex up a bit. Three times a day is just not enough. 🙂

    1. Jay Dee says:

      …I don’t know what to do with that.

  4. anonymous says:

    Unfortunately, Jay, the sense of humor and irony is not lost on the fact that while you try to be honest and create a safe place you yourself post anonymously.

    But that could very well be more of a reflection on society and its inability to handle honesty, who knows. Funny still, though.


    1. Jay Dee says:

      Thanks for bringing that up!

      When I write under my own name, I still do my best to be authentic. I write under a pseudonym not because I’m not willing to be honest in real life, but because the subject matter is a point of contention in most churches.

      I’m more than willing to tell everyone in person that I’m struggling in a season of life. I’m less willing to share with everyone a tutorial on bondage or a treatise on anal sex in person.

      Make sense?

      P.S. Is it also irony to call out the guy who writes anonymously by writing an anonymous comment on his blog?

  5. Keelie Reason says:

    I agree with you friend. Totally agree here.

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