What do you recommend for lubricant?

Jay Dee

What do you recommend for lubricant?

Dec 11, 2015

Here’s another one from our Have A Question page that I’ve had in my inbox for a while: Can you make a recommendation for massage oils or lotions? Is there any that double as lubricant? Are there any that don’t leave oily grease marks on

Anonymous QuestionHere’s another one from our Have A Question page that I’ve had in my inbox for a while:

Can you make a recommendation for massage oils or lotions? Is there any that double as lubricant? Are there any that don’t leave oily grease marks on the sheets? Are there any that add extras like warning or tingling? Thanks. Awesome site!

Personally, our favorite lubricant, be it for massage or “personal lubricant” is coconut oil.  Why is our favorite?

Coconut oil is natural

Coconut oil is derived from…yep, coconuts.  You can get it in cold pressed or not varieties and virgin or not.  Honestly, I don’t think, for this use, it matters much, but make your own decisions about what you put in and on your body.

Coconut oil melts at skin temperature

Technically, it melts at 25°C (77°F). This is nice and convenient, because, unless the room is very warm, coconut oil stays as a solid, which means you don’t have to worry too much about spilling it, of having it leak all over your luggage if you’re traveling.  But, as soon as you scoop some out with your fingers, it will start melting.  In the middle of winter, it gets pretty hard, but you can generally still break it up with your fingers, or just nuke it for a bit if need be.  It make take a bit to melt if the room is cold, but it will eventually.

Coconut oil smells and tastes good

Actually, it’s not really a strong smell or taste, I find, but it does have a very light coconut flavor and smell.  Much better than some other massage oils.

Coconut oil can be used for cooking

So, it doesn’t look like you’re buying a giant tub of personal lubricant, just that you’re going to be doing some cooking or baking.  Actually, we buy big 1.6 L (that’s like 0.4 gallons) tubs at Costco, then split it into a separate container for the bedroom, leaving the rest in the kitchen to use for foodstuffs.  I think if I bought a 1.6 L tub of Astroglide, I’d get some strange looks…

But, it’s still an oil

So, it will mark your sheets, but I haven’t noticed any being stained beyond a wash.  One of our readers suggested in the comments that you could buy a Liberator Decor Fascinator Throe to deal with any messes as well, good tip!

Also, no one seems really sure how it reacts with oil based toys and condoms.  I’ve seen studies saying they don’t react well, and others saying it’s perfectly fine.  So, I can’t tell you definitively either way.  I can say we’ve used it with toys, and not seen any adverse effects.


So, that’s my recommendation. What are your favorites?

Looking for help?

24 thoughts on “What do you recommend for lubricant?”

  1. Chris says:

    If you try Fractionated coconut oil, it is liquid all the time and does not contain any solids.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      I didn’t know about that, thanks.
      But, I think that would be more difficult to manage. The nice thing about regular coconut oil is that you can grab some as a solid and transfer it to your spouse’s body over the bed without spilling, but then it melts as you apply it (or in your hands). If it’s liquid, it makes transfer more difficult (such as when it’s been microwaved).

  2. Josh says:

    I completely agree with coconut oil! And we also get ours at Costco.
    Coconut oil is amazing! A fun thing to try – get a cheap plastic shower curtain and lay it down. Put a sheet over it, lay on it and pour warm coconut oil all over each other – SUPER fun! Also try it on a “picnic blanket” *wink*

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Now, that sounds interesting.

  3. Chris says:

    Who says you need to be neat? Drizzle it all over and you can have a fun time watching it make the body shinny all over. No need to be shy or reserved. Sex is all about having fun!

    No, more seriously, solid coconut oil can have small amounts of sugar to it which could be problematic for some ladies. Fractionated generally does not, and therefore safer for them.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Less worried about being neat, and more about leaving giant oil spots where I need to sleep later, or wasting coconut oil. We don’t usually use it in copious amounts, but good point on the sugar.

  4. Chris says:

    Try gong to Married Dance and look for the Liberator Fascinator Throe. Takes care of all the juciness you can put at it, and is soft and velvety. Adds to the moment. Plush and inviting. And in royal purple makes a wonderful sight to look at your spouse.

    Josh, you are spot on, slip ‘n slides can be very fun!

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Thanks for the tip. I think the choice of colour would depend on your spouse’ colouring.

      1. Chris says:

        Indeed it does! That is why it is best to let her choose thee color :-). If you are like me, color matching is best left to my better one.

  5. Jimmy says:

    If you want really slippery fun, we like taking a heaping tablespoon of flax seed, put it into 2 or 3 cups of water in a small saucepan and boil for 20 minutes. When it is fresh and warm it is easy to separate out the seeds and you have very smooth, very sexy lube that is water-based, non-staining and lots of fun. Keeps two weeks at room temp. It is especially good for intense sessions such as learning to stimulate the G spot or fisting or playing on the shower curtain. When we were young we didn’t need extra lube very often but still used it just for the fun of it. Now we need it most of the time after 37 years. If you need lots of friction for an orgasm this one may be too slippery for some but for gentle slow sex it cannot be beat! And it is really easy to make when you get the Hang of it. ?❤️

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Oh, I think you win the prize for mentioning fisting first. Haven’t written about that yet.
      I’m going to try that flax-seed idea though. We use something similar as an egg-substitute in baking.

  6. Norah says:

    Very interesting. We don’t use lube. However we do love coconut oil. It has been said to raise testosterone in men naturally. I make toothpaste out of it, skin cream, hair conditioner, cook with it. But we haven’t invited it into our “special nap time.” We just as of now don’t “need” it. I’m very well…blessed in that area. Question though who puts it on them? Hubby or wife for penetration?

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Whomever is closer to it? And then they have the choice of who to put it on. I tend to choose my wife, because it’s another reason to touch her 🙂 But, eventually it’s going to be on both of you, so it doesn’t matter.

  7. Mike says:

    My wife and I have used it since you suggested it a few months ago. Works well as you state. Tried others but Coconut Oil is the best.

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Awesome. I’m so impressed with the changes you two have made.

      1. Mike says:

        Thanks Jay! I was checking out at Costco recently. I woman in front of me had two big jars of Coconut oil. My mind began to wander and I had to look away. You have changed my default image of this product.

  8. annie koelle says:

    The best thing I’ve found is fractionated coconut oil, no need for warming and it doesn’t irritate women’s delicate areas. We buy big bottles off amazon. Sometimes solid coconut oil leaves more of residue than the fractionated, I truly feel bad for the couples that haven’t discovered all-over slippery sex! I noticed the comment about fisting, its something I’m curious about doing safely but am a little afraid of internet research and would be interested in hearing more about it in a healthy context.

  9. JAMES says:

    As far as lubes we use coconut oil and it is great and wife loves it….. Another lube that is great and does not have alot of junk in it is the lube called sliquid it is also awesome… would recommend….

    1. Jay Dee says:

      Yeah, I’ve heard good things about sliquid, never tried it though.

  10. El Fury says:

    Never used oil. We use Equate water-based lube or Gun Oil silicone lube for when we have sex in the water.

  11. arbrown says:

    Sliquid. is our favorite water based lube. Watch coconut oil with your favorite toys as it will cause silicone toys to melt. Love coconut oil and peppermint essential oil mixed. One or two drops of peppermint to a 1/3 cup liquid coconut oil and presto an arousal lube is born

  12. Katya says:

    Just a heads up that coconut oil can break down latex condoms!

    Also there are several different formulas of Astroglide including water based, silicone based, liquids and gels. Anyone can try them for free: astroglide.com/sample

    1. Jay Dee says:

      As I said, I haven’t heard any conclusive evidence that it does break down latex condoms.

      1. Jeremy says:

        We have a two year old example of coconut oil induced condom failure…I realize there are other factors in there but we are pretty sure! OH, she is the best thing to happen to this family BTW!!

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