Tag Archives: Psychology

Orgasm does not equal pleasure

Yesterday I was writing about some orgasm facts. And my last one. Which I wanted to split into a separate post, is that orgasm does not equal pleasure. Unfortunately our media keeps telling us differently.  Cosmo covers are full of orgasm tips, positions

Stress is bad for sex

Stress isn’t a bad thing.  It’s not.  It is designed for a purpose: to give us the best survival chance in a dangerous situation.  Evolutionists would say this is a holdover from evolutionary ancestors.  I believe that God created humans to be able

Relief is not the same as enjoyment

I think sometimes we confuse relief with enjoyment, especially when it comes to sex.  I think this gets confused by both high-drive and low-drive spouses, and I don’t think we tend to reflect on that much.  So, I thought I’d take a second

The dual control model – Why you sometimes can’t get in the mood for sex

Alright, today we’re going to talk a bit about the dual control model of sexual arousal.  I think people probably know this inherently, but sometimes it’s good to put things on paper, as it were, to make them clear. So, the dual control

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to.  Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.  In movies, both

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal.  How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready.  Or the opposite can happen.  Unfortunately, this confuses a lot

Arousal non-concordance

I heard a new term this week and I’m really excited about it, because it’s a concept I’ve known about for a long time, but I’ve not seen many people write about it.  I also didn’t know what to call it.  I like

Curious about being with someone else

This question came in a couple of weeks ago from our anonymous Have A Question page: I love my spouse but what if i find myself wondering how it would be having sex with someone else. I lost my virginity to my husb

Is that how you want your spouse to see you?

I think a lot of spouses have a bad habit of talking bad about themselves.  Women in particular are generally very well know for criticizing their appearance.  Most men don’t do this as much.  Men, if they verbalize this, tend to downplay their

Confidence is sexy

I caused a bit of a stir yesterday with my post Romance is the death of sexual attraction.  This is sort of a part two, but not the part two I think a lot of people were expecting.  In short, if you don’t

Romance is the death of sexual attraction

I was writing another post, and suddenly this thought struck me, so I put it on hold and decided to tackle it.  I think romance may be the death of sexual attraction.  My generation, as well as one or two ahead and behind